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Someone please hand me a grip

(8 Posts)
KittyandTeal Sun 14-Jun-15 17:30:47

I had a tfmr in jan at 22 weeks. Dd2 had trisomy 18.

My due date has been and gone and I'm on more of a balance. We've decided that this month is the month to try again.

I am in my fertile window, we've had sex regularly for the past week, I'm healthy there is no reason this won't happen.

I am starting to obsess. I'm trawling threads and websites about conception, ovulating, all sorts. I going round and round in circles trying to work out if I could be pregnant yet (I reckon I'm 2-3dpo so no chance yet!)

All in all its on my mind all the bloody time atm. I'm terrified of not being pregnant and I'm equally terrified of getting pregnant and things all going wrong again.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself for no real reason. Please give me a stern talking to and a grip. I'm driving myself mad!

sizethree Sun 14-Jun-15 18:38:51

This sounds like entirely normal behaviour time after what you've been through.
I've never had the heartbreak of a TFMR, and can't even begin to image how difficult that was for you to experience, but it's wonderful that you've decided to try again. And understandable that this will cause a huge amount of anxiety.
I've had three miscarriage as and pregancy is a terrifying time. When I'm not pregnant I can't wait to be again, and when i am I am constantly petrified.
Pregnancy after loss looses its innocence but every DH how pregnancy is fufferent. Like a skate wiped clean. I do hope you get uiur BFP soon. These days will drag but they will definitely pass. And don't beat yourself up for obsessing. It's good that you are aware of it. Real crazy people have no idea!

sizethree Sun 14-Jun-15 18:39:58

On my word. I'm so sorry for not prof reading that first. I hope it makes sense still.

KittyandTeal Sun 14-Jun-15 19:08:53

Thanks sizethree. I'm sorry for all your losses.

I bumped into a woman who knows my mum from the playgroup she takes my dd1 to. She was happily announcing to the world that she was in her second trimester now and 'over the bad stuff'. It just struck me, after I've spent the day doing the 'I'm pregnant, no I'm not, yes I am' game, that I'll never have that again. Never again will I be able to happily announce my pregnancy to all and sundry declaring that I'm over the worst part because I've stopped puking.

Not her fault, and part of me is pleased for her. But it made it so clear to me today, if or when I'm pregnant again it will be so, so different to dd1 (I knew from the start, deep down that something wasn't right when I was pregnant with dd2)

cnforthis Sun 14-Jun-15 19:31:54

I think the only thing that helps is keeping busy

I had 2 mc between DC2 & DC3 and I worried the whole way through the pg with DC3. I didn't tell anyone apart from ppl in RL to whom it was obvious

I had a TFMR 4 weeks ago (at 15 wks) & haven't told ppl in RL

KittyandTeal Sun 14-Jun-15 19:47:07

I'm so sorry to hear that cn. That's really tough.

Keeping busy is great advice, and easy to do with a 2.8yo!

cnforthis Sun 14-Jun-15 20:13:11

Thank you Kitty
The best advice came from my FIL who says to be gentle to oneself.

KittyandTeal Sun 14-Jun-15 20:33:41

That's much better advice than my fil managed 3 days after giving birth he said 'you never know, with advances in medicine these days she might have been ok' shock

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