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These be our very C's & our U's 'N our T's proudly JSing their way to poetic BFPs in #49.Together we Shall take off our robes (to shag),put on our crowns (to copulate);we have/immortal longings in us!

(1000 Posts)
Augusthomotherium Wed 10-Jun-15 19:57:29

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

bellybuttonfluffy Wed 10-Jun-15 20:04:06

Fab title grin I actually lol'ed!!

Augusthomotherium Wed 10-Jun-15 20:11:49

Oh fannywank potnoodle, the links didn't copy through! hmm
Can I fix it? bites nails

honeysucklejasmine Wed 10-Jun-15 20:16:47

No editing but you can post them separately.

Great title!

Augusthomotherium Wed 10-Jun-15 20:17:43

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 48 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

jellypi3 Wed 10-Jun-15 20:20:35

Place marking

justtheonethen Wed 10-Jun-15 20:24:06

Great title!

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed Wed 10-Jun-15 20:33:41

Great title. Sadly marking my place, but lovely to be with you viroids.

Littlechocolatebiscuit Wed 10-Jun-15 20:36:48

five so sorry for you. Think you said about tampons in the last thread. Best not to use during mc as risk of infection. I found normal sanitary towels weren't enough so maybe lie or sit towel as well when in bed and sitting on sofa.

Littlechocolatebiscuit Wed 10-Jun-15 20:39:17

Also I found hot water bottles on my tummy were helpful as I had cramps during mc.

ThursdayLast Wed 10-Jun-15 20:48:41

Just marking my place, wondering if I'd be any good at The CUBE

oneyorkshirepud Wed 10-Jun-15 20:49:15

Great title!! intellectual references go totally over pud's head grin

ChatEnOeuf Wed 10-Jun-15 20:53:07

Genius, Aug, love it.

Oh Five I'm so sorry sad Yes, expect bleeding - heavier than a period usually and you should avoid tampons <insult to injury>. My MCs weren't too painful, physically so you may be just fine (though I do swift labours without pain relief so you might want to ignore that and stock up on pain relief).

Stoat I hope the counselling helps. My miscarriages were traumatic but not to the extent yours was, they were certainly less drawn out. It's the hardest thing to not blame yourself, we are the incubators of these little beans after all - but nothing was your fault, nor was it a reflection of the universe's opinion on you as a mother-to-be. It just doesn't work like that, promise flowers

Oof, Illaria that doesn't sound good. Hope your DH is taking good care of you - I love the idea of a bacon butty in bed. I may will have to go to M&S tomorrow just for bacon.

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed Wed 10-Jun-15 20:56:31

Thanks Little I'll get some towels in. Stupid thing is I got sent home from work Tuesday as I couldn't stop throwing up. Not as much today but still been off. It must be tummy bug and not morning sickness. I'll tell my boss that I might need to stay off when mc starts.

stoatystoat Wed 10-Jun-15 20:58:01

Lots of love five

carrot to respond to your post to me on the last fred. thankyou for your advice. I should start with a project, I'm my own worst enemy in that I think I must recognise I'm depressed and it's sapping my motivation. I'm a keen 5ker but my running schedule has been affected by how I'm feeling about TTC, fragile and weeping? Don't run. Angry? Run a lot. Cramping? No running. I also have a competitive career that I can throw myself into and I would do better if I threw myself into it but I'm also disillusioned and don't think I'm good enough so I don't do the extra stuff...vicious cycle. Your last paragraph really helped though. The Mums' Club are rubbish at admin and it's nice to have you all. I'm sorry as I know other people are coping better than me and some are coping with worse.

blackcat I'm sorry your mc anniversary is looming. I hope you will be looked after.

just FRUSTRATING! DH rarely goes away, but it's me that's away when icing I think. How long is he away for?

Well I have a new game and it might not last very long...

PERIOD OR PILE?
Cycle day 24 or 26 of what is normally a 28 day cycle.
I've had tonsilitis so been on codeine and antibiotics. I haven't pooed in days. Been today and had bright red blood on the paper.
So the witch is here or I've angered something. It was a painful one.
Don't wait up viroids!

5hell Wed 10-Jun-15 21:00:13

thinking of you five I hope the mc isn't too bad for you...I also mc'd fairly early, I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't have any really bad pain and bleeding was steady, manageable, but lasted ages. it seems the physical aspect of mcs come in many types, so be prepared for a range of possibilities (some not as bad as you might be imagining).

super new fred aug !

spent half the day teaching kids (not my normal job) so knackered now (respect to teachers!), just doing a little x-stitch and tearing-up over DIY sos!

Littlechocolatebiscuit Wed 10-Jun-15 21:04:12

pud I had to google it smile I like the theatrical start to the fred

justtheonethen Wed 10-Jun-15 21:05:45

stoat what a game! Keep us updated!
Dp away for a whole fucking week exactly when my apps predict I will have fertile week so I may be out this month before I even start. Fx for an early ov miracle!

So temping-can I just do it when my alarm goes off normally?

stoatystoat Wed 10-Jun-15 21:07:56

chat thank you for spelling out the rational response. I don't half think some claptrap and think my counsellor has her work cut out. Thank you for sharing your experiences. The drawn out thing has definitely made it difficult and that theme has carried on with my periods since!

Oh and...i got my smear test results back and...they are unclear. Got to go back in three months. I did bleed- I find them traumatising (are you sensing a theme here...?) so I am OVERJOYED I get to have one again. I had to listen to Taylor Swift to make it through. Part of why I had it was that while I was having my details taken prior to my viability scan was that I was reprimanded for being overdue and I didn't want that to happen again.

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed Wed 10-Jun-15 21:11:01

Thanks 5hell, I think if I expect the worst at least I'll be prepared. DH just gone to the shop to get bits for me. Poor man is trying to be so strong for me.

nuttybananas Wed 10-Jun-15 21:11:08

marking my place on the new fred...
big commiserations for five and stoat and flowers for everyone that needs one...

nothing to report from my vagina, headspace slightly messed up as AF is approaching and the usual nervousness of will I be or won't I be pg. Lack of sex means I think its the latter but I've still got the crazy!

Time for tea - one of DP's slow cooker specials - anything and everything thrown in with some tinned tomatoes and on for most of the day. On paper it should be hideous but somehow he seems to usually pull it off. Then time to watch the TT coverage - slightly obsessed by it in this house!

Augusthomotherium Wed 10-Jun-15 21:12:13

Viroids just remember: we are such stuff/As dreams are made on. In other words, we're all blooming marvelous! All the shit that happens on this weird journey, well it can never take the marvelosity out of any of you. Understood? Be bloody (oh the irony), bold, and resolute! We are the sonnets of Shakespeare's vagina, and we deserve Good Things!

heads back to gin

5hell Wed 10-Jun-15 21:14:42

PILE!

sometimes I worry I've coped too well stoat (we really can't win can we)...I think as a scientist I accepted the medical/scientific reasons why the mc might have happened and hung on to that, i did cry now and then, but not that much IMO, mostly just numb and sad, so wonder if i'll have a proper freak out/breakdown at a later date confused

Ain626 Wed 10-Jun-15 21:14:59

Aug grin

LaLaLaaaa Wed 10-Jun-15 21:15:10

Marking place and sending lots of love to viroids needing support.

It does get easier over time five but it's a hard time so do let yourself take time for yourself and your dp. Yes to pads - the first day or so it might be heavier but it then becomes like a normal period. It takes a lot out of you emotionally and you feel tired so make sure you rest up somewhere you feel comfortable. I'm so sorry sad

Stoat I'm sorry you're struggling so much still. I'm keeping gx that everything works out for you and you get your baby xx

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