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Been told I will miscarry. Devastated.

(21 Posts)
iamadaftcoo Sat 30-May-15 10:50:58

First pregnancy after ttc for four months. Am 5+4. Had sensed something was not ok as tests were not getting very dark and cb digital is still reading 1-2 weeks. Had very sharp pain on Thursday so was referred to the EPU. I had a scan where not much was seen so was told I have a pregnancy of unknown location and was given blood tests. They were hopeful it was just too early to see anything but went in for my second blood test today. The nurse said that my hormone levels on Thursday were very low (75 HCG and 21 progesterone) and while only my blood test results from today would confirm, she expects me to miscarry.

I am absolutely gutted. I feel ridiculous as I know many others go through this and much worse but I feel devastated and like I will never have a baby. I have had no more pain or any bleeding at all but guess it's just a matter of time.

Could really do with some positive stories of people miscarrying their first and going on to have healthy babies as at the moment I feel like I never will. I'm 25.

Oysterbabe Sat 30-May-15 12:03:20

I have no experience of this but there is a miscarriage thread on here you should check out. Most women who miscarry go on to have healthy babies. You're young, you'll be ok. Big hugs thanks

306235388 Sat 30-May-15 12:09:30

It didn't happen to me personally but both my sister in laws, my sister and quite a few of my friends all miscarried their first babies and went on to have future healthy pregnancies.

I'm very sorry for your bad news.

sizethree Sat 30-May-15 12:21:33

Hi, I am so sorry you're going through this. It's such a devastating shock to hear that news and losing a baby at any stage of pregnancy is heartbreaking.
Alrhough miscarriage is very common, it doesn't make it any less hard to cope with.
I hope you're getting lots of support from your partner and close friends. You'll find the more you confide in people about your experience, more and more friends will share they're. When I suffered my first one, I was startled to discover just how many friends I know have also suffered pregnancy loss.
There are wonderful threads on these boards (and also the pregnancy loss board) with women at similar stages of loss, I found it very comforting to read and contribute to these threads.
You are in a very strong position to go on to have a family. You've very much hit age on your side and statistically having one loss doesn't really affect your chances of future losses. It is such a lottery!
Please be kind to yourself, look after yourself to get through this really shitty bit. It will get better.
Huge hugs.

monsterinc Sat 30-May-15 12:27:53

I had my first miscarriage at 21 never even crossed my mind it would happen to me i was devastated. I went on to have beautiful boy a year later i then fell pregnant again 15 months later and had another miscarriage but fell pregnant a few months later and had another beautiful boy.

I was in you position a few year ago i thought id never have a child after my first miscarriage but give so many people do go on to have children after miscarriage i wouldn't assume the worse

jigglywiggly Sat 30-May-15 12:29:06

Hi, I just wanted to say that my blood test at 5+4 was 58. Two days later it was 84 do I was told I would probably miscarry. I had already had 3 miscarriages so I expected the worst. However, my HCG continued to rise and I went on to have my son who is now almost 3 years old. My pregnancy test was so faint in the clinic they told me I wasn't pregnant.
I don't want to give you false hope, but sometimes HCG levels can be a bit misleading. I really hope this is the case for you. Fingers crossed.
Oh and my cb digi was still saying 1-2 weeks when I was 6 weeks pregnant too.

iamadaftcoo Sat 30-May-15 12:38:09

Thank you for kind words everyone. Just twiddling my thumbs waiting for them to call me. Its my birthday tomorrow. Crap timing.

FeelTheNoise Sat 30-May-15 12:44:09

I had a miscarriage 20 years ago, then fell pg with DS1 18 years ago. My second pg was robust, and he was healthy and my body was strong and capable, even though I didn't dare believe he would be ok until he was in my arms.

I'm now expecting DS2, and again this feels robust and strong, not that I'll believe it until he's born!

I'm so sorry for your loss, take the time and space you need, be kind to yourself and don't give up hope x

rainbowstardrops Sat 30-May-15 13:03:01

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 7 weeks but have since gone on to have ds and dd.
The one positive thought that I tried to hold onto was that at least I knew I could get pregnant and therefore there was hope. I felt it would have been even worse to keep ttc but nothing at all happening.
Fingers crossed for you

thelionsleeps Sat 30-May-15 13:10:39

I had a missed miscarriage with my first and I'm so sorry if it turns out you are miscarrying. Like others have said I know so many people who have had miscarriages and unfortunately it does not make it any easier.

I hope you know either way soon and take all the time you need to recover.

iamadaftcoo Sat 30-May-15 14:46:37

They just called and my HCG levels had dropped but only slightly. So I have to go for a scan on Monday to check its not ectopic.

When can I expect to bleed, does anyone know? Should I go to work next week?

Honey85 Sat 30-May-15 19:30:56

Oh I'm so sorry your going through this limbo! I too had a very early miscarriage at 4/5 weeks and then fell pregnant with my daughter, now 3, the following cycle. I was very surprised at the amount of people who I know, that have had mc. 4 friends have (one ectopic) And have all gone on to have healthy babies. Lots of hope for you!

In terms of bleeding ... I think when I was told about hcg levels dropping etc, it took 4/5 days to start bleeding ... It was just a painful heavier period. See how you feel and what's going on re work ... Take one day at a time and if you need time off .,. Take it. Good luck Hun. (Ps, I had about a week off as was so upset!)

gingerbreadmam Sat 30-May-15 19:36:12

iam i had a horrible missed mc last year. discovered on 9th november. finally dealt with on 14th december. had first period exactly 28days later then fell pregnant again that cycle. i am no 19-20wks pregnant.

at the time, i never thought id get over it. now altho i know it was completely horrible i can look back and think i survived it and in a funny way its probably made me stronger.

its so common you really dont realise until it happens to you. i hope you are ok and if the worst does happen you will get a baby eventually, dont give up hope. thanks

gingerbreadmam Sat 30-May-15 19:42:08

sorry just saw you'd asked about bleeding. there are no rules unfortunately. the gp will sign you off tho and i would definitely do it. my baby stopped growing at 5 weeks and i still hadnt bled or miscarried at 13 weeks so it can be a drawn out process. i didnt mc at all i had to have medical management and then erpc.

megarobotdiscoparty Sat 30-May-15 19:42:25

So sorry for your loss. MC is blooming awful. I had MMC discovered at 7 week scan just a month ago. I found the clinic didn't do a great deal to prepare me for what was to come. Found this thread on the practicalities of MC invaluable:
and also the support of the Head wreck and Hope thread on the same board (look under Body and Soul).

Hope you have good RL support and give yourself time and care to get through this flowers

gingerbreadmam Sat 30-May-15 20:04:58

i was on headwreck and hope throughout mine and afterwards was fantastic support.

the practicalities one scared me a bit tbh and i think i probably put myself in danger reading that thinking some stuff was normal when it was far from it. its worth a look tho as my hospital literally told me it will be like a period but possibly a bit more painful. i didnt find their advice useful at all.

megarobotdiscoparty Sat 30-May-15 20:16:53

That's a fair point gingerbread! Mine was a bit full on so I appreciated being prepared for the worst but not everyone will feel like that. Proceed with caution! And remember everyone's MC is so different.

iamadaftcoo Sat 30-May-15 20:31:39

Thank you so much everyone, you've made me feel a bit better and more hopeful. I just want this pregnancy out of me now so we can get on with trying again.

I just feel sad my little bean didn't want to stay. I can only hope that the next one does.

gingerbreadmam Sat 30-May-15 20:32:36

mine too but i think cos i had read on there someones take on what had happened to them i stayed at home when i really should have been in hospital (and did end up there 2 subsequent times).

its tricky however i think the official guidelines are if you fill a maternity towel in less than an hour then you need to go to the hospital. google it to be sure but its worth being aware of.

gingerbreadmam Sat 30-May-15 20:34:29

your welcome. i know that feeling! hopefully if hormones are dropping you wont have long to wait. i felt like that for a long time but then i started thinking more 'scientifically' and that helped a bit!

MrsG12345 Sat 30-May-15 22:12:21

I can't even begin to imagine how all it feels for you. On a positive note a good friend of mine had 4 miscarriages and now is the very proud mummy to 4 healthy children! Fingers crossed the next one sticks for you. smile

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