Waiting to start TTC after MC

(14 Posts)
UtterlyMonkey1 Thu 28-May-15 23:30:46

I was 11 weeks pregnant with DC2 on my 39th birthday. We were both over the moon, and couldn't wait to tell everyone. Until I started bleeding. An early scan showed that I had a blighted ovum (sac sans baby), and I opted to have a D&C the next day.
I have been advised to wait for 2 regular cycles before start TTC, to allow the body and mind to heal. Whilst I understand these completely reasonable reasons, I am anxious of waiting any longer because of our age (he's nearly 41). Worries about a repeat episode aside, we're both still keen to give it another go, and wondered if anyone else is in the same boat and would like to be part of a support club whilst we jump on the Optimism Bus and discuss everything from abstinence to zinc and everything in between :-) X

SinIckAll Thu 28-May-15 23:53:16

Hi utterly, sorry to hear about your loss. I am in a similar position, I had a mmc in march. it was my first pregnancy, I was around ten weeks pregnant. I and am desperate to start TTC again but have been waiting on various (unrelated) gyno test results and have to wait until they come back. it's very frustrating! I'm over thirty, so although I realise I do have some time, I am so desperate to have a baby and (probably over dramatically) feel like it's never going to happen at the moment. and I'm terrified I'll either not be able to conceive as easily again or that something will go wrong again. here's some hand holding to get through this difficult time x

UtterlyMonkey1 Fri 29-May-15 00:06:30

Hi Sin,
I'm so pleased to meet you, and totally get your point about wanting a bub ASAP, especially if it's your first. Sorry about your mmc. They're just unfair really :-( hugs Having to wait is just cruel. To make my life hell - I've just started bleeding a week after my D&C and I have no idea if I should panic. Sigh.
Ive been reading up a bit, and am now trying to be good about taking vitamin D and folic acid, and might go pick some zinc up tomorrow. (Hey, did you read about how prenatal multivits can actually cause MCs??)
Not sure what else to do, but will try to lose some weight whilst I'm at it and keep focussed on getting up the duff!! Argh!

stoatystoat Fri 29-May-15 00:09:10

I'm sorry for both your losses. I had a MMC/blighted ovum in February and am back in the saddle now. I hated the in between bit so much, it was very frustrating! Feeling very aggrieved and cheated out of where I should be by rights but ho hum....I wasn't obsessed with getting pregnant before and now I'm down the rabbit hole. Much love x

UtterlyMonkey1 Fri 29-May-15 00:40:03

Hi StoatyStoat, thanks for your post and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss too :-( Was it your first?
Did you wait 2 full cycles before getting back on the saddle?

stoatystoat Fri 29-May-15 08:20:07

Yes it was my first. We waited for the first cycle and then inadvertently the 2nd because I ovulated later than I expected to. 3rd month cycle recently and think it was a chemical. In the midst of the 4th cycle...

I'm still struggling emotionally and a few people have suggested taking a break but am not inclined to do that

Well done carrying on with your folic. I did that too but it felt very weird doing it.

How are you today?

SinIckAll Fri 29-May-15 09:19:27

utterly we're on his and hers conception pregnacare. what's the thing with the vitamins?! also, I'm not the most clued up, what is zinc for?

I'm with you on the losing weight thing, I've been trying (not very successfully) to focus on getting trim, eating well etc in this interim. but also making the most of being able to eat smelly cheese, runny eggs, pink meat and drink wine! keep telling myself that hopefully I won't be able to do those things soon. we've also been concentrating on sorting our house out at the moment to give us something positive to focus on. some days are easier than others...

how is the bleeding? are you going to speak to the EPU about it? fx for you it's nothing other than normal bleeding after the ERPC. I'm going to try and pester the hospital again today for my gyno results, they are being really slow at getting them back and are practically impossible to get hold of to chase it... I want to know if we can get going this month! starting af now so counting down the days anxiously until my fertile window...

SinIckAll Fri 29-May-15 09:23:09

stoaty sorry to hear your story too. I know how you feel when you say you felt "cheated", it's so unfair. especially when you see other people getting pregnant and having babies with no problems around you. it's like "why is this happening to us?". my partner and I take some comfort in reminding each other that one day this horrible period will just be a sad distant memory, one day we will have our baby and this horrible time will be behind us x

UtterlyMonkey1 Fri 29-May-15 10:04:23

Hi Sin and StoatyStoat,
This "period-like" bleed has now stopped. So I'm thinking W.T actual F? I'm not going to spend my day at a GP surgery or A&E... I'm just going to wait this out and see what my body decides to do.
Google prenatal vitamins and miscarriage - it was a study done last year.
Zinc is to help with his "swimmers". Every little helps.
I'm still feeling a bit sad and cheated, but am comforted in knowing I'm not the only one. Funny about sorting the house, Sin - I've gone a bit amok cleaning out ours. Everything that doesn't have a reason to stay has been donated to the charity shop. It was almost a cleansing ritual. Very therapeutic.
I'm also loving the thought of eating forbidden foods. This period is a tough one. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. I'm so sure of it!! Xx baby dust everywhere :-)

SinIckAll Sat 30-May-15 09:37:11

I spent the best part of the day yesterday trying to find out my results from the hospital only to eventually speak to a secretary who had the results in front of her but couldn't read them out to me. bah!! they are already a week later than they are supposed to come back and it will be the end of next week before I get them. I think I may need to be on antibiotics, which may mean we can't try again for a while... if I have to miss another cycle I may go mad sad

how's the bleeding now utterly?

UtterlyMonkey1 Sun 31-May-15 08:55:14

Sin, why did they say they couldn't release it? Could you send them an email? Anything in writing makes them jump / move a bit faster. I hate public sector red tape... Especially at times like these when waiting does nothing for your sanity.
Bleeding stopped as abruptly as it started. I haven't got a clue what's going on, but am guessing it was my body's way of dispelling whatever was left over. On a brighter side - I think I might hv lost an itsy bitsy teeny weenie bit of weight, as I now fit into my old jeans again :-)
Let the cycles begin so I can get on the saddle again!

You feeling ok other than that? Xx

SinIckAll Sun 31-May-15 17:17:42

utterly the secretary isn't allowed to read them out as she doesn't have medical training. very infuriating.I'm not even allowed to go into the hospital to collect the results myself apparently hmm. I'm going to try and speak to my gp tomorrow to see if they can advise/help chase the results. I'm hoping that the fact that they are being so blasé about them means it's all ok, but if I do need antibiotics I'm so worried that will mean I won't be able to TTC again this month sad I just feel like everything is such a set back at the moment. I'm feeling really tearful and crappy about everything today.

well done for losing a bit of weight smile. it helps to feel in control of something doesn't it?

UtterlyMonkey1 Sun 31-May-15 18:22:18

I feel your frustration. I'm not sure what I would do tbh. Yes speaking to GP sounds like a good idea, and they'll call the hospital for you etc. Might want to let GP know your anxiety - they're usually quite sympathetic when they know it's causing you worry. Big great hugs in the meantime.
I think I need to lose weight just to feel myself again, and start with a clean slate. I bought zinc today so let's see if it pays off ...

SinIckAll Tue 02-Jun-15 16:57:22

hey utterly and stoaty, how are are both doing this week?

I've finally heard back from the hospital admin staff and I will have to be on antibiotics sad but nhs online tells me the type that is given to treat my infection is the kind you can take when you're pregnant smile. still not had my smear results but fingers crossed I'll be TTC again once my af has finished in a couple of days!

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