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We may be rude, some call us crude, but noone can deny, when times get tough or you're feeling rough, on the Viroids you can rely.Among the laughs this bunch of dafts will pick you up each time -JS 48

(1000 Posts)
lildottie Thu 28-May-15 08:29:42

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE and HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of TinyChat is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

ThursdayLast Thu 28-May-15 08:35:39

Lovely title lil smile

The news from my vagina is that there is no news. I'm shamelessly marking my place. I'm in the dreaded two week wait.

5hell Thu 28-May-15 08:39:37


jellypi3 Thu 28-May-15 08:43:17

Amazing title lil, brought a little tear to my eye (hormones i swear).

FeatheredTail Thu 28-May-15 08:45:31

Great title!

Neither my phone OR work computer let my use google docs, so here are my stats:

* Feather
* 31
* Cooking up BabyFeather,currently at 5 weeks + 4 days
* 7 week scan booked in for 11 June
* Herts/Essex area

Morning viroids! weather app said today would be unsettled and blustery. What the hell. It is warm and sunny and I've come out dressed for arctic gales. FAIL.

CarrotPuff Thu 28-May-15 08:48:18

lil that's an amazing title star

Does anyone get headaches in twot? I never used to have them, I think this started after mc confused

jellypi3 Thu 28-May-15 08:48:23

Yeh i can't amend the docs on my phone either smile But my jellybean is 4+5 today, and my early scan is on 15th June!

autonomousplum Thu 28-May-15 08:48:23

It's fantastic lil! star

MyBlackCat Thu 28-May-15 08:48:50

Great title lil - may the thread be a lucky one star

jellypi3 Thu 28-May-15 08:49:08

star flowers star flowers star flowers star flowers star flowers star flowers

jellypi3 Thu 28-May-15 08:49:36

i love stars and flowers!!!

autonomousplum Thu 28-May-15 08:51:55

As the sunrise bled into being this morning with the wasted witch of our ancestors past, so she too arrived this morning from my blighted loins. sad
So, I am out after another shitshort lp. angry
See you on the other side of a name change a bit later. Viroids Unite!

justtheonethen Thu 28-May-15 08:53:36

Lovely title lil

Fivemonkeysjumpingonthebed Thu 28-May-15 08:57:49

Morning all. Lovely title Lil.
Haha news from my vagina! Well news from my foo foo is AF arrived for an unwelcome visit in the night. Urgh.

picklethistle Thu 28-May-15 09:01:58

Beautiful Fred lil

News from my vagina is nothing. News from my right ovary is pain confused Should be in the two week wait. Does anyone else get constant ovary pain??

honeysucklejasmine Thu 28-May-15 09:03:03

Fabulous title Lil! Love that you've included the link to TinyChat's page too.

NFMV: DH pestered for sex last night so it was all a bit messy this morning. (Don't worry, had the sex towel down. wink )

honeysucklejasmine Thu 28-May-15 09:04:11

Pickle could be something, could be nothing. smile Hope it's not too annoying though.

CountryGal4 Thu 28-May-15 09:06:41

Me and dh had a lengthy adult discussion and agreed on something. (Doesnt really matter) what irks me is that this morning is done completely the opposite of what we agreed on. What was the point in even discussing if he was gonna be a big fucking baby and do what he liked anyway. I forgot we were 17 hmm

gaggiagirl Thu 28-May-15 09:23:58

Morning Lovlies. Gorgeous Fred lil

I cant do the stats sheet but I'm 21 weeks today and my DD is no longer nearly 4 but actually 4!

oneyorkshirepud Thu 28-May-15 09:27:59

Ah well done for including Tiny Chat's page Lil.

Pickle, I got constant ov pain throughout twot before bfp, still get it now! Someone else had the same but them another viroid had it and was not upduffed. Are you certain of ov date? Shag just in case?

cake for monkey and aut, stupid witch!

Viroids there are two more posts to fill on the last Fred!!

WouldRatherHaveWine Thu 28-May-15 09:33:40

Morning viroids (autocorrect changed that to "virgins" - hilarious)

The love in at the end of the last post has made me speak up, been quiet for the last couple of days as I'm struggling bit at the moment with feeling a bit low. But I hope you lovely ladies are all okay


honeysucklejasmine Thu 28-May-15 09:42:16

Wine hang on in there sweetie, we're here for you! Can we help?

I am super broody the last few days. Annoying.

On the health questionnaire I was sent by hospital it asked if I'd been trying for more or less than 18 months. I hope that's a generic question for non-diagnosed people. Bit anxious now that I'll get back and be asked to wait longer. But either way I will be pushing for treatment of some sort.

ColdFeetWarmHeart Thu 28-May-15 10:02:03

Love the new thread title smile

Hopefully you'll get some treatment soon honey - your cycles sound horrid sad. Don't let them leave it another 6 months!!

On cd7/8 (light spotting Thursday evening, but whole af was fairly liglight so what do I class as day one?) today. On holiday next week so will be JSing as much as possible. Ordering a smoothie blender today so I can make sure DH has enough energy grin

honeysucklejasmine Thu 28-May-15 10:36:31

It'll be November by the time it's been 18 cycles, I.e. I'm on cycle 19. If they insist 18 months it will be March 2016. I really hope that's not what they will say. They shouldn't do, as I have a diagnosis that only gets worse with the passage of time.

Really need to get back to serious dieting. I do exercise now twice a week, will be more as I am working less in the next few months so will eventually be able to do an hour every weekday morning and all the gardening I will be doing with my allotment.

WouldRatherHaveWine Thu 28-May-15 10:47:06

Thanks honey, I'm having some trouble at the moment but can't really post on here as it's so public.

Also need to get my fat are in gear with the diet. That said I'm eating sweets and watching teen mom

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