Deciding when to start TTC(11 Posts)
Hello everyone. I'm new to mumsnet and just wondered if I could ask you all for some advice/opinions.
I'm 24, married for 18months (together for four years), good secure full time job that I love (medical professional). House provided by work but is pretty secure for as long as I work there and want it. DH works part time in retail but with lots of extra hours overtime. Brilliant supportive DH and we have a really good solid relationship.
We both would like children, but are struggling to decide when to start TTC. I feel we are financially secure enough for this, with the idea that DH will drop down to part time hours when maternity leave is up so I can go back to work full time, and grandparents/nursery will do the one/two afternoons childcare a week that we can't cover. My DM is very keen to help should the opportunity arise!
But I worry because we don't own our own home yet and I know our rate of savings will slow down if we have a child, meaning it will take much, much longer to buy a home. DH doesn't feel he knows what he wants his future career to be, and I'm not convinced he wants to be a SAHD forever (even though he tells me he wouldn't mind). But I know we wouldn't be able to manage if I didn't work full time.
I know there's no right time to have a child, and that its a personal decision, but I suppose I'm just looking for reassurance it will be okay and that things will work themselves out if we do start TTC - I'm getting very broody!
Obviously this is assuming we can concieve etc and circumstances don't change. And I know you can never predict how things will happen and progress etc.
Did anyone else think and worry this much before TTC and what did you all decide? I feel a bit silly reading it all back now ... I know I'm over thinking it!
Did you just go for it!?
Thanks for reading
I would be tempted to buy a house and give DH some time to decide/take steps to future options first. That gives more flexibility if you decide you want perhaps to both work part-time post baby, or a plan b if you ever lost your job.
Hi, there's another board called 'Conception' that may get you more replies as it's all about trying to conceive with a lot of threads that you'll be able to relate to and join in with too.
Ps. Hope that didn't come across as being dismissive! I'm on threads there too and just thought you'd get more responses.
For my tuppence worth, in my experience there's never a perfect plan that falls into place. You're young and have a a big window of opportunity ahead of you and many fertile years. But you never know what your journey to parenthood will be like. So do be prepared that it may take a bit longer to start a family than you initially thought. Babies don't always turn up 9 months after you decide you'd like one sadly, and it can be a heartbreakingly bumpy road to becoming a parent.
Sorry if that sounded a bit doom and gloomy! But do try and think about it from all angles, to be fully prepared abd make the most informed decidion to suit your timeframe.
Thank you both for your replies - I will ask for the thread to be moved to conception
I'm in the go for it, you'll work it out camp. We don't own our own home but both solid in careers and decided to do it while we are young enough it prob won't be too much of an issue 28/30 rather than concentrate souly on saving.
I was in a similar situation to you. Career minded, house came with the job or rented if not, as moved around jobs to gain experience and OH worked from home. I started to get broody, but OH wanted to wait until we were in a position to buy our own house. This took longer than expected and as a result I am now 39 and pregnant with first!! I wish I had pushed for children earlier, despite house insecurity, as I definitely feel older and may end up only having one child now as a result. IMO, there is never a perfect time and it may take a while to get pregnant, so I would probably go for it.
I think the house scenario is made more confusing by that fact that the house work provides is a large 'family' type home that we love, and is exactly the house I've always dreamed of living in. So I wouldn't want to move unless it was into a house we had bought that was of similar size - but of course this takes time and savings! We pay nominal rent so I am able to save a lot each month.
So I think if we waited till we had bought a home of similar size, I'd be like you ToddlingAlong - I think it will take longer than we think to save up.
Oh decisions! Ill chat to DH again and see where we are.
Hi! I am 25 and TTC. We could buy now too, but we are saving for a bigger deposit in order to buy a larger, preferably detached, house. We are happy to carry on renting in the meantime because our house is perfect for us and a baby too. No point moving for the sake of it.
Keep your house saving separate and start TTC now I say. As others have said and as I have found out, things do not always go smoothly and it could take a while, so as you are financially secure enough to do it now you might as well get going!
I put of TTC because of career chasing BLAH blah blah and now I'm 31 and hit me how fast time goes and now im in a rush for a baby!! If you both want a family then go for it ... There will never ever be a "right time" x
We waited until we were financially secure and until we had bought a house and until we were in good secure jobs. We then started ttc almost 2 years ago and really regretting the wait. In hindsight there was not really any reason to wait as we have been together for 7 years and have owned our house for 5 years and we would have managed. Wonderful thing hindsight... In the mean time dp has lost a job, gained another job and who knows how long we will be ttc before we are lucky. Good luck making your decision. I totally understand the house thing, it is of massive importance to me too. We would like to move to a detatched but will stay where we are now we have planned to ttc so I can take a full year off without worrying about money (very inexpensive to live here). Sorry, I'm rambling. I would say go for it, everything will work itself out in the end!
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