Hello ladies.. I'm a long term lurker and a first time poster!
Don't really know how to start this post off, so I guess I'll just delve right in...
I'm 24 years old, and I've been thinking about going ahead with IUI using donor sperm.
The reasons behind this are personal, as I've had bad encounters with males on too many occasions, and I've just completely lost all faith in the opposite sex.
I know I'm not old, and I know I'll have plenty of time to start thinking about children in the future should I ever meet anyone I feel comfortable with and can build a life with, but for the past couple of years - well, since I was about 18 - relationships have just not worked out for me at all. I've been in three, the longest lasting three months, and I hated every single minute of all of them.
Whilst I was in the three month relationship, I did happen to fall pregnant. Didn't find out until I was 11 weeks gone, and sadly miscarried at 14 weeks. I was devastated because all I've ever wanted was a child, but (don't hate me for saying this), a blessing in disguise at the same time because I couldn't of been tied to the father for the rest of my life (again, for personal reasons). I had the miscarriage end of last year, and I've been on meltdown mode ever since. I find myself breaking down in shops in the baby aisles, I find myself hating and envious of anyone on social media that announces they're pregnant/posts updates on their pregnancy/babies, likewise when I'm physically in contact with anyone that's pregnant or got a baby. I'm CONSTANTLY dreaming of being pregnant and getting BFP's, and wake up in tears when I find out it's just a dream. I know this is pretty extreme, but I cannot help the way I'm feeling. It's been over 6 months now, and it doesn't seem to be disappearing.
Being a single mother doesn't necessarily bother me. I feel as though I'd be able to keep my child safer if I was sole carer. I also feel as though my child would have just a good up bringing as any child with two parents, because the child would NOT go unloved or mistreated. They would be treated like a true prince/princess. I have a great support network around me, my parents are brilliant, my brother and sister in law just as much so, and I have cousins and friends the same age as me, as well as having grandparents and aunties and uncles. I'm emotionally sound, I'm financially stable - with working in banking - and I have my own place. I'm mature for my age, having seen and dealt with a lot of things most people don't have too, and I have great life experiences. I just feel it's time to settle down with a child of my own to love and care for, which is all I've ever dreamt of.
Sorry for the lengthy post ladies, couldn't get my point across any other way!
Thank you.
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IUI? Please don't judge..
9 replies
CautionHormone · 09/05/2015 01:56
OP posts:
Springtimemama ·
09/05/2015 11:22
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