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New job while TTC

(12 Posts)
BoomKapow Tue 28-Apr-15 21:24:43

Hi. I was hoping you all might give me a little advice. I've been working in the same company for 5 years. I feel I have reached the highest I can go hear and am very ready to do something else. A new job has come up that I'm tempted to apply for but I'm worried about moving jobs for a few reasons.

My DH and I decided to start TTC in January. (We're both 31) and I'm very ready to be a mum. Unfortunately he has badly broken his arm which has put a hold on proceedings! I'm worried that is I move jobs now then get pregnant I'll be viewed as a very flakey employee and get a bad rep. I would think badly of someone who did that! I'm not untitled to any pay above statutory in my current role and wouldn't be likely to be in any new role but I just think it would look unreliable. My DH basically tells me to get a grip!

I know that this might not even matter, once his arm is fixed I may not get pregnant for years! Should you put off doing things on the off chance that TTC will happen quickly?! Also I probably won't get the job!

Any advice/ insight you can offer would be great!

MissMartin1992 Tue 28-Apr-15 21:38:05

there's no right time to have a baby.. or ..so many people have told me this as im ttc #1 and im only 22 ..if you want a baby then i really think you should go for it grin i wish you all the luck in the world x

NoLuckThisTime Tue 28-Apr-15 21:48:17

MissMartin is right there is no right time to have a baby. If people are going to think you're flaky for going on mat leave they will whether you do it 8 months into a new job or 18 years.

You may well be TTC but you have no idea how long that might take and you cannot put your life on hold.

I ended up having IVF - I accepted a permanent contract where I was contracting when I started seeing the fertility doctor and it took them so long to sort out my contract I became pregnant just 10 days after I started my permanent contract - but when it's IVF you realise that the most important thing is to get pregnant and having your baby not what people at work think about your maternity leave (which is your legal right, by the way).

mrschatty Tue 28-Apr-15 22:07:22

Hay hun...just to give you another reference story- I had a really good job, senior manager but a very high level of pressure and stress - Which is ok but when it reached month 12 ttc I'd had enough felt that the stress was adding to my emotional breakdown!!!
It made the decision to jump ship and start a new job closer to home with less pressure but knowing full well in MAY get pregnant straight away...However in m4 of new job m19ttc still no baby...
I'm agree with luck...If the most important thing to you is a baby does it matter what colleagues think? X

Vap0 Wed 29-Apr-15 20:30:49

Hi

I have experience of this and thought I'd share although circumstances are different. I was contemplating moving jobs (due to massive stress, harldy ever being at home and a struggle with my boss) just after we decided to TTC. I applied for a couple but then had cold feet with the worry that they don't have to give you a reason to cease your employment within the first 2 years of employment and didn't want to lose a job I just managed to get and as you put it "be seen as flakey". So I stuck with the same job. This was 19 months ago, nearly 20 so actually I would have been fine moving. As luck has it the job I stayed in has become a lot more manageable, less stressful, still away from home a lot but not quite as much and problems with boss have almost disappeared.

I suppose in hindsight with my situation i made the right decision to stay but could have been an equally right decision to go.

What will be will be and whatever decision you make will turn out to be a good one so don't worry too much and just do what feels right at the time. I certainly would advise against putting life on hold when trying to TTC - wish I could follow that advice myself....

Good luck to you. I hope all works out well in the end with whatever job. Best of luck on the baby making front too flowers

BoomKapow Thu 30-Apr-15 00:00:45

Thank you all so much, I think your right that you shouldn't put you whole life on hold for something that really doesn't have a definite timeframe. It's already almost 5 months after we decided to TTC and we are nowhere nearer so I think it's worth taking the risk. I probably won't get it but at least I've thrown my hat in the ring! With this in mind I've spent all evening updating my CV. I forgot how long these things take!

roobanya Thu 30-Apr-15 08:04:21

Hi,

I'm in a similar situation as I've been in my current job 3 years and don't feel like it's going anywhere. I also commute for over 2 hours each way so it's very unlikely I could go back to it after maternity leave.

The rational part of me says that I should keep an eye out for other jobs and apply if I see one closer to home that would offer a new challenge.

Unfortunately it's just not that simple when you throw TTC into the mix! I did actually apply for a job a few weeks ago and get an interview which was right around prime DTD time and I found it really hard to cope with the pressures of both at once. DH takes a very measured view and just says that the chances of getting the job and getting a BFP at the same time are slim so I shouldn't worry about it. Easier said than done!

This particular time has worked out ok as I didn't get a second interview (I didn't want one either). Still waiting to see whether a BFP is on its way though! If it doesn't happen this month then it's two months until we can try again as DH is away over the time of ov. Which means I'll be back to the should I/shouldn't I in terms of applying for new jobs.

I doubt that this is anyway helpful but I just wanted to say that I get what you're going through. It's so difficult because you can't be honest about it apart from with your partner who is unlikely to really understand it from your perspective. It really shows why womens' career trajectories tend to slow down compared to men!

BoomKapow Thu 30-Apr-15 15:54:02

roobanya thanks for that it's so good to know that someone else has a similar situation! My husband thinks all my worries are unfounded, he sees no problems with me getting a new job then leaving 9 months later (if we were lucky which is unlikely!). But he's not in the same line of work as me (v male dominated profession) and in his job it would probably be less frowned upon.

I think I've decided that I wouldn't risk a sideways move just to get out of my current company but if it offers a possibility for career growth/learning/ significantly more cash then it's worth an application.

It's difficult to balance work and the plans to start a family isn't it!! Good luck with everything I hope a baby and/or a new job is on the the way for you.

Brummiegirl15 Thu 30-Apr-15 18:56:32

All I will say is don't put all your eggs in 1 basket so to speak.

Live your life because TTC is just something else added to you life.

I've been TTC for a year and sadly I've got fuck all to show for that year apart from 3 miscarriages. I've now decided to live my life and if I get pregnant and more importantly stay pregnant then it will be a bonus!!

What I'm trying to say is - don't plan your life around getting/being pregnant because you don't know what might or might not happen.

If you want to apply for a new job then do it!!!! And if you do get pregnant and you have a new job then that is wonderful news and an added bonus.

Tryst me there are worse things that can happen so don't put your life on hold.

Good luck

greenwolf Thu 30-Apr-15 20:27:14

Just to echo what others have said - don't put your life on hold. I've been ttc for 1 year now and since then I've returned from living abroad and started working self-employed with multiple contracts - although possible pregnancy is a factor when taking new contracts, I also think ttc might be a much more drawn-out process, and I will have to jack-in whatever I'm doing at least for a few months once* baby arrives.... it's just so unknown. Although I love love love my job and I think having something that keeps my mind off ttc can stop me going crazy help . A note of caution would be make sure it's not too stressful. I'm aware my job is quite stressful and I known this is something I need to address to help me conceive.

*hopefully!

BoomKapow Thu 30-Apr-15 23:08:49

Augh I just pressed send on three job applications! I've taken the plunge!

greenwolf being self employed is so brave! Although I can imagine very stressful. My current job is quite stressful so I'm not sure a new one would be better or worse? Just different I guess.

I hadn't realized how much I'd put things on hold. Even before we actually made the decision to try I knew we probably would so I think I'd probably put off moving for quite a while.

Until reading these threads I don't think it had sunk in quite how unlikely it was I'd get pregnant quickly.

Roxie85 Sun 03-May-15 12:48:00

I think you should go for a new job if that's what you want. People are right, you have no idea how long it may or may not take to conceive so I wouldn't put life on hold. Me and dh fell first time but friends took over 18 months.
It's worth bearing in mind that you won't qualify for smp in a new job unless you have worked there for 26 weeks when you are 15 weeks before your due date (so when you are 25 weeks pregnant you need to have worked there for 26 weeks) But you would nornally qualify for mat allowance instead.
I want to ttc number 2 but am only 2 months into a new role and there is a 3 and 6 month probation. I know I'm doing well there and have no concerns and as they couldn't get rid of me due to being pregnant there is nothing really stopping me, but I feel better waiting until probation is over. Although we shall see how long I can hold off!

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