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Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

(998 Posts)
Blue2014 Fri 06-Mar-15 12:41:44

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Blue2014 Fri 06-Mar-15 12:44:32


Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

6) Number of pets?

7) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8) Lesbian crush?

9) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
b) Over 100 quid
c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
d) I have an extra expensive lick on a stick gadget which also appears to do arse all

10) Which of these sentences is appalling:
a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
c) both of the above

11) How barren are you?
a) childless and TTC for at least one year
b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!
If c, this aint the fred for you ...

Blue2014 Fri 06-Mar-15 12:49:14

Come join me Hags ...

Blue2014 (man, I wish I hadn't dated that username!)
36, married to Mr B (that's the best I can do for a nickname!)
TTC since 2012 and not a sniff since then

EricaJ Fri 06-Mar-15 14:08:44


Thanks Blue

34 married to Mr Erica
TTC since 2011. One mc in December 2011, a cp in November 2012, endometriosis discovered and removed via laparoscopy in April 2014, BFP in May but Mcd in June 2014.

Currently TTC-ing 'naturally' but planning to get into the IVF full monty if we haven't got preggers before the end of the year!

Fabuluce Fri 06-Mar-15 14:09:28

Well done Blue and with a migraine too - truly a BESH smile

Too tired to post more...must nap...roll on 17th March when I'll know what's what.

FizzyFeet Fri 06-Mar-15 14:45:08

<lurches in bearing gin>

Nice Fred, thanks blue!

Hooray for Fridays.

Blue2014 Fri 06-Mar-15 17:41:36

Thanks Hagssmile back to bed with the poorly head hmm

TheBuggerlugs Fri 06-Mar-15 19:02:24

<marks spot>

Bugs, 31, managed to win my baybee Buglet after 3 years ttc, 3 miscarriages, Clomid and IVF.

TheBuggerlugs Fri 06-Mar-15 19:04:03

I'm 32 not 31.

I forgot my own age ffs!

Fabuluce Fri 06-Mar-15 19:37:26

Lol Bugs!!

Fab, 42, currently diffed (6 weeks tomorrow -v early days!) after magic #3 ivf plus auto-immune drucks, lap and scratch. Keeping everything crossed, trying and failing not to google incessantly and attempting to keep calm.

MissHobart Fri 06-Mar-15 21:21:00

MissHobart: 34, due my pink win on 1st May after 2 1/2 years and 3 mc. With much help from the BESH! Currently being a rubbish PESH and not updating the thread, sorry hags!! grin

Fab - six weeks already!! grin grin grin

MissHobart Fri 06-Mar-15 21:21:39

I also made myself a year younger the first time I typed that! confused

TheRainDrops Fri 06-Mar-15 22:19:02

Found you!

<admires new fred, plumps twat cushion>

Rain, 33, married to RAF. ttc 3 years this month, unexplained, one natural bfp after 18 months, one mmc. Awaiting funding approval for nhs ivf (naggy phone calls will commence in a week or two)

RAF has proper manful. I wrangled a go out of him on Weds but he's so gross today with symptoms I think we're just going to have to let this cycle go. I'm reasonably sure OV will have been around weds anyway, so maybe not all is lost!
Hope everyone has good weekend plans - we're off for a walk and pub lunch tomorrow, yum!

TheRainDrops Fri 06-Mar-15 22:20:23

Oh ffs, me and my bloody typos again. MANFLU! Although, RAF is decidedly manful too! wink

cherrycoconut Fri 06-Mar-15 22:31:24

Marking my space on lucky fred number x to the power of three. Thanks Blue, hope you're feeling much better. Well done onrising to the occasion for us all despite adversity feeling like shit like a true hag.

Cherry, 35, married to ROCH. Diagnosed POF 2013. In the midst of DEIVF#2 and on sooper levels of oestrogen to create a cushiony womble as we speak. Scannage on Wednesday to see how we're going. Any COW appreciated grin

cherrycoconut Fri 06-Mar-15 22:38:30

Coo for being 6 weeks Fab, time is ticking away for you. Roll on that scannage hey?

Uh-oh, not man flu Rain, someone paint a cross on the door! I hope it's over quickl and you got your bit in at the right time. ROCH is havering that he's getting my lurgy, but as he's still upright, watching telly and making conversation he's OK for now, just unwell enough not to make tea and do housework it seems!

cherrycoconut Fri 06-Mar-15 22:47:31

MissH wowzers, not long to go now, how did that happen!? Good to see you, I hope you're getting on OK? We definitely need some more differs if you're due to drop so soon. A dirth of differs for sure.

So my cluster posting tonight is mirroring the diffage we expect from this fred. No pressure. Multiples by the power of free. and has nothing to do with my attention defficiency

Right, off to listen to woo hypno track and try not to fall asleep as I have done the last two nights. Never even got the visualisation of my yooooderus doing the right thing and being perfect. Have woken up the next morning instead after a full nights sleep which I guess at least reassures me that I'm relaxing!

badb Fri 06-Mar-15 23:11:30

<staggers in after week from hell and two glasses of wine>

Nice thread, hags. I likes it.

badb, 35, married to Himself. Everything declared "normal" by bemused doctors, but not a sniff of a diff after a year.

Hags, I'm finished work for two weeks. I'm beside myself. Flying out on Sunday. Sunshine! Sunshine!!

barkingtreefrog Sat 07-Mar-15 08:02:12

<carefully places brand new twat cushion in the corner and gets comfy>

TTC since Jan 2012
clomid bfp 2013, iui bfp 2014, both mc. iui bfn Jan 2015, starting ivf whenever the droid deigns to make an appearance.

Luffly fred blue grin

Bring on the mass diffage!!

cd30. Still nowt. Beautiful timings all gone to shit. Ach well.

Was angry last night. Spoke to DCW's dad & step mum on Skype (they live abroad). Explained that we weren't going to be able to come over this year due to the treatment. Told them this next ivf was the last. Oh well, you know what will happen when you stop trying, don't you?! Happened to so many people I know.

Hags, a broken connection on Skype is not the place to start trying to shout reason at the in laws so I said nothing as it's not quite the same when they can't hear you and all you can hear is crackling and a delay, but I was fucking angry .

barkingtreefrog Sun 08-Mar-15 08:29:04

Feeling incredibly woe is me this morning. Was miserable all day yesterday as well, very grumpy with poor DCW. Still annoyed at comment from step MiL and my inability to make a proper comeback over a poor Skype connection. Pissed off at my mother, as when I called her to sort out something for her yesterday, she (finally) asked when we were seeing the consultant - er, 2 weeks ago, - and then asked what we were going to do - ivf starts tomorrow mum perhaps if you weren't too busy to pick up the phone and ask after me you'd already know this. She hasn't bothered calling since the iui failed, and at that point I just got a text saying 'sorry it didnt work'. angry

Today's pity party is me feeling like I don't have any close friends round here. It's difficult, because I moved here almost 5 years ago to be with DH. When I first got here I was starting a new job and very busy, but once I'd settled a bit I started trying to make my own social group outside DH's friends (I always think it's important to have your 'own' friends, even if you all hang out together, but that just might be me). However, I did this through running, cycling and mountain biking. With each, I seemed to just get to a point where I knew people's names and was happy going to the pub rather than just on the organised runs/rides when I got pg and stopped going, then it took a while to recover post mc, and I was back to square one. There have been wkds away organised, but they seem to have fallen during each treatment or mc and I couldn't go. The cycling group are pretty hardcore so it's taken ages each time I was injured/pg and mc'ing to get up enough fitness to actually go out on their 'easy' ride (60km with plenty of hills). The mountain bike group are lovely, but the majority have kids and as well as the women only rides they organise family rides which get me upset so I stay away. I haven't run since I injured myself over a year ago in a fell race, so I had to leave the running club. It's not like I'm not trying, but it always seems to be TTC/injury that gets in the way, which is so frustrating. I do get on very well with DH's mates and all their wives/girlfriends, but there have been 9 babies among them since we started TTC and my aversion to spending time with babies unless necessary means I've distanced myself from those I would otherwise have spent time with.
I am being a little ridiculous, my best friend is only half an hour away but she has two kids and is always busy so I don't see her much - maybe once a month. I have a couple of other friends locally that I knew before I moved here, both of whom I meet for dog walks, but it's always me that initiates it, which gets annoying.

I think the bottom line in my hormonal state is that I really want to go to a festival this summer but DH is going away for 4 weeks in the middle of festival season so can't come with me, and I don't have that close group of friends I used to have in my 20's where I could just say 'hey, want to do this?' and there'd be a gang of us going. I miss that. They've all grown up, moved away and had kids, and I'm just sat there crying because I've got no-one to play with....

Wow. The droid landed this morning. Can you tell? hmm
Apologies for the verbal diarrhoea, needed to vent blush DH left at 7 for a long bike ride, and I've been lying in bed on my own feeling miserable. Fucking hate hormones, I was feeling absolutely fine on Friday!

Fabuluce Sun 08-Mar-15 09:27:48

Oh Barking sad. Rant away lovely, it can all seem so unfair at times can't it. Especially when you've made so much effort. And of course it's exacerbated by the bloody droid....but droid is here which means finally you're on the bus yippee!

So sorry your mum isn't being supportive. We've had our fair share of toxic mothers on this thread but it doesn't make it any easier. Mine can certainly be a challenge - a low point was when she told me I probably wouldn't have a baby anyway as it hadn't worked so far. Nice. You have to do everything to protect your own mental health now - this period is all about you - so keep up the hypno and needles woo and keep positive smile

How are Cherry and Fizz doing?

Fabuluce Sun 08-Mar-15 09:28:27

Bad have a fabulous fabulous holiday!!!!!!

cherrycoconut Sun 08-Mar-15 13:56:33

Sorry you're feeling the down draught at the moment Barking, it's shit hey, but I think inevitable unfortunately. Hormones, hopes, dreams, fears and doubts. This is big shit we're playing out while trying to keep a veneer of normality in tact - and save ourselves going stir crazy at the same time.

Yesterday I was serene and full of hope. Today I feel tired, ambivalent and like I don't know how I'll cope. I'm still not back to full health and I don't know what more I can do to be at my best for all this. Meh!

I'm hoping that we both get over ourselves pronto, one foot in front of the other. Yay for droid, yay for getting going on this. Its not for long, we can do this! Like Fab says, time to concentrate on you, you're strong and amazing and this is for you, never mind the parentals of either variety!

How are you Fizz?
Have an amazing hols Bad

FizzyFeet Sun 08-Mar-15 18:00:51

<Oi! barking's droid! We're pleased that you showed up and all, but could you take your fecking negative hormones away? Fanks.>

barking and chez sorry you aren't feeling in top form. This fertility shiz ain't easy and sometimes you just need to plod on with one foot in front of the other. Sometimes there isn't any more you can do, so you do what you can.

I'm fine. Just back from an awesome weekend (joint birthday with GFBW and another friend - big party in a rented house with full-on indulgence before we go into the ivf cycle. GFBW has been celebrating what is euphemistically called "a significant birthday" and I've been managing to quash the inner voice that goes "omg if we don't have a baby soon he'll be 65 when it's only 25 and what if we become a terrible burden to our offspring --who don't even exist yet--". The weekend was awesome. I still feel very head-in-the-sand about this upcoming cycle. And struggling with the idea of willpower to follow a clean diet. Maybe tomorrow.

barkingtreefrog Sun 08-Mar-15 21:39:55

fizz sounds like an excellent wkd, good work keeping that inner voice under control, tell it from me it's talking bollocks grin .

chez when is your next date for something happening?

fab how's the menkul?

I realised today (only later when almost feeling sane) that I didn't even try the bloody hypnosis track when I was falling apart and in misery! Next time I come on here and rant, please tell me to fuck off and put my headphones in for some meditation or hypnosis!! grin

Despite my earlier good news among the misery, I'm not sure if the droid is actually here properly, or just sticking two fingers up and running away!! Had spotting yesterday, put moon cup in, very little of anything overnight but that's normal for me, and expected it to start properly today however just taken the mooncup out again and it's still a tiny, tiny amount. So it's basically been two days of spotting. I'm still going to go in for the scan tomorrow as I'll otherwise be paranoid I'm going to miss it, but I'll fully expect to be asked to come back again on Tuesday.... angry angry

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