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Ttc#3 with 2 close winter babies already. WWYD

(9 Posts)
Up2nogood Fri 13-Feb-15 04:29:59

Ttc dc #3. Desperately wanted to be well pregnant by now with a summer 2015 baby but alas I'm not!

DS is 3 and dd 15m. We wanted a pretty small gap between dd and dc3 as wanted the overall gap to be under 4y. Based on this I stupidly agreed to working arrangements at work which would have benefited me getting pg by now but now feel like added pressure to get pregnant quick. Just desperately wanted to be pregnant by now, and really want to be! On the other hand ttc now would mean a mid-late nov baby for us at the next cycle then a christmas baby cycle after that. It's a hectic time of year for us already. Dd is late oct, mine is mid nov, DS is late nov and all of his friends (ante natal) are just before his. Then christmas. This year was so hectic I could barely think about christmas until DSs birthday was out of the way which I found stressful and disappointing as I love christmas and it took the joy out of the run up a bit. The thought of adding another birthday with more parties etc to the mix fills me with dread a bit.

Does anyone have experince of such close birthdays? WWYD? Forge ahead or wait till Jab/feb/march confused

choco311 Fri 13-Feb-15 08:41:51

I could have pretty much written this post myself! I am TTC #3 - I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. If I get pregnant this cycle, my due date would be the day after one DC birthday and 1 week after the other DC's birthday! Which is all pretty close to Christmas as well and I also found it all quite hard work last year. We also have DH birthday, niece, nephew, brother in law and my granddad's bday over a 3 week period (not to mention all of my eldest's nct friends!). I've been so torn about what to do. I had a miscarriage in December which would have been due June 2015 and in some ways it makes it harder that I am now in a position of either stopping for 1-2 cycles or having some crazy birthday situation for years. A June baby would have been so perfect for so many reasons.... I am also deluding myself into thinking I have any sort of control over this situation!!

DH thinks it isn't a problem having close birthdays and it is something he grew up with, but still.....My approach has been to not stop trying this cycle but not to go completely mental about it. In some ways I feel a lot more relaxed having that attitude which has been nice. If I could guarantee that I would get pregnant for a Jan baby then I would wait, but I hate putting if off for longer and I feel like I will be worried that I "missed our shot" if it then didn't happen for ages.

Sorry, no actual advice but just to say I am in a similar position!

Autumn2014 Fri 13-Feb-15 09:12:59

My sister has two children with spring birthdays (1 week apart) and very close to Easter, followed by husband's birthday, then her birthday, then her 3rd child's birthday in late summer. She also has mother's day and both my parent's birthdays in between, and summer holidays to plan for. So what I am saying is that in any big family you find that there will always be another celebration around the corner...

Stinkersmum Fri 13-Feb-15 10:11:40

Maybe it's because I'm 39 and have recently fallen pregnant for the first time after ttc for 13 months, but if you want child, you want a child, regardless of the time of year?!

bluewisteria Fri 13-Feb-15 13:01:31

Again, I too could have written this!
Mine are 5&3, their birthdays are 29 dec and 16 jan. Not only are birthdays close together but so so close to Christmas.

On top of this both myself, my father, my husband and both sister's in law have birthdays 17dec till 18 feb. We are all winter children!

Reading back what I have just written makes me want to have a summer baby!

But... Before our first child we had 6 mc all with due dates in the summer months... I think for some reason I might be biologically meant to have winter babies? Maybe my body has decided I need more vitamin D in pregnancy. Maybe it's random, who knows? I would say if you are ready then go for it, the logistics always work themselves out! You can throw them all a half birthday picnic in summer. And you can get away with joint birthday parties for quite a few years too, so all the planning/energy/ money is once a year...

Romeolovesjuliet Fri 13-Feb-15 13:07:25

Also tt#no 3 - had a mmc in Jan, would have been due in July. My other 2 are just 3 and 16 months. Oct and late Jan birthdays and I am December. Waiting for AF after mmc but likely due date if I fall this cycle will be late Nov early Dc. Personally I don't think it matters and would just go for it - I wouldn't skip a cycle when I might not even get pregnant or even could go on to miscarry (sorry I know that's negative).

mrsgooglemad Fri 13-Feb-15 21:00:47

I think if you are lucky enough to have a third child you can hardly complain! Some people are desperate for baby number one!sorry but this type of post does my head in!! Good luck ttc though.

Up2nogood Fri 13-Feb-15 21:35:11

choco yes it looks like we are in a similar place. wishing you lots of luck.

Thank you everyone for your replies, all of them have been helpful and food for thought.

Stinkersmum, whilst i agree to certain extent, i think its a bit black and white to say if you want a child you want a child regardless of other factors, although i am sure Mrsgooglemad with disagree.

DH and I have always been set on 3 and this one is dearly awaited. But we all have our preferences about when is the right time for any/another child, whether its in your early twenties late thirties or forties; or whether a second or third is a few months after the last, or several years.

I am exactly torn between wanting another child to join our family as soon as possible as we are so excited to begin that journey, and the possible negatives that having another birth/birthday at the end of the year might bring for myself, my husband and our current children. I am an only child so i've no experiences of siblings and additional birthdays but my fear that all of them clumped together wouldn't be nice for them. But it is interesting to read posts that suggest those of you that have had this yourselves were never bothered.

choco, Romeo and blue, i agree waiting and then not getting pregnant is a big risk and thats puts me off waiting. I actually can't imagine not ttcing over the next couple of months at all is it just doesn't feel right. To not ttc and then not be successful the months after would be even more devastating. I suppose in a way i am answering my own questions.

I KNOW I am beyond lucky to have 2 dc already. After 7 months of ttcing I had a mc myself a 12weeks before dc1. After my mc i spent many months on the miscarriage and then conception board in a very dark place. I don't know how i would have gotten through those months without the friends i met at that time. And i am acutely aware of the struggles that they, friends in RL and many people on hear have ttcing their first let alone their 3rd….but its doesn't mean i shouldn't post right????? Mumsnet talk pages are full of pages of talk about significant life difficulties and total trivia.

Thank you again for the replies and for those who are ttcing lots of luck

bluewisteria Sun 15-Feb-15 16:58:34

I hope you get your BFP soon, and, if possible, it's a good time of year for all of you.

I guess a different perspective- your winter born's might be jealous of a summer picnic? And it is definitely better academically, at least when pretty young, NOT to be summer born. Just to give positives to a winter born wink

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