Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

[townsender]

Time for a new thread, a sad welcome to any newcomers.

Introducing myself:
Name: Town?
Age: 34
Angel: DD 'G' born Feb14 at 27w by EMCS, lived 12 days (oxygen starvation at birth due to cord prolapse)?
Other DC: none?
TTC/Rainbow: TTC since Nov14, currently incubating a pea

[Cakebaker35]

Thanks for the new thread Town x

Me: Cake
Age: 38
Angels: mmc twins at 10wks March '14 ; then DS, W, born at 27wks in Oct '14 after going into spontaneous labour then partial abruption and emcs. Lived for 8 days.
Other dc: DD aged 3
Ttc/rainbow: currently lurking and not actively ttc until consultants appointments all complete and we make a decision but hoping to be brave enough

[WinterBabyof89]

Me: Winter
Age: 25
Much missed daughter: born July '14, 40+5, severe placenta abruption mid-labour, EMCS, 17mins of resuscitation, 3 days in NICU until we let her go.
Other DC: DS aged 3 1/2.
TTC: #3, cycle 2 :)

Sorry to read your stories ladies
town wishing you & your pea all the best
cake sending your family love & hope for the future xx

[EllieandAnna]

Me: Ellie
Age: 26
Angels: Mc at 8 weeks Nov 13. DD 'A' was stillborn via natural delivery Sep14 at 41+2. Was given no reason as to why she died, but was told I had a placental abruption.
Other dc: None
Ttc/rainbow: Started ttc in Dec and hoped I was pregnant. Turns out AF hadn't actually returned. After messing about at the doctors and being told to go on the pill to reset cycle AF turned up last week! Am now officially ttc- am so scared but hopeful too.

Hoping for bfp's and healthy babies for those of us pregnant and trying.

[LakeOfDreams]

Name: Lake
Age: 31
Angel: DD 'E' stillborn 41+2 went into spontaneous labour August 14
Other DC: none?
TTC/Rainbow: TTC since August! But realistically since November when i went back to work.

[kayleighferrie1985]

Thank you for the new thread town.

Name: Kayleigh
Age: 29
Angel: Ben, induced labour at 34+1 due to placental abruption.
Other DC: Jessie (8) and Brian (5)
TTC/Rainbow: currently 8 weeks pregnant with little bean.

Lake, so sorry to hear you had that awkward moment with the doctor at work, and also with your best friend. I doubt your friend meant anything by the comment, possibly just playing devil's advocate so to speak. Nobody ever asked me the question your friend asked, but with me already having the older 2 it isn't the same situation.

tahunny thank you for your response regarding the consultant appointments. At my results meeting the consultant had said that whatever we need to reassure us- whether it be more midwife appointments or scans- we could have, i just don't want to go into the midwives and feel like i'm demanding if that makes sense.

AFM well i'm sleeping a bit better at night now, which in turn is helping with the tiredness during the day, although that may change this week as the blooming plasterers are arriving tomorrow to sort my kitchen wall so it's going to be chaos . I've spent most of this weekend emptying the kitchen cupboards and attempting to find temporary homes for all the stuff.

[BettyFriedansLoveChild]

Me: Betty
Age: 37
Angel: 'O', born May 2014 after a placental abruption at 35 weeks. Resuscitated and lived for three days in NICU.
Other DC: DD, nearly 3.
TTC: currently recovering from a missed miscarriage a few weeks ago, will start ttc again soon.

[Annaelisabeth]

Thanks for the new thread town!

Me: Annaelisabeth
Age: 38
Kids: Daughter 2,5 and Son Stillborn
TTC: Someday soon

We lost our son in August 2014 at 40 weeks/his due date. My placenta ruptured and he died instantly. Even though the abruption happened at home in the middle of the night, I knew he was gone immediately although the pain of seeing the still heart on the screen at the hospital is a memory that will never stop haunting me.

I'm getting better but I still have days of horrible darkness. My husband and our daughter are my beacons of hope.

The ladies on this thread have brought me back to sanity. This is one of the few places I've been able to express exactly how I feel from day to day.

Very much want another baby but don't feel quite ready yet. Don't know if I ever will? May take a leap of faith within the next few months. Lingering health issues and generally being terrified of repeat loss is keeping me away from trying for now.

Waves and love to all.

Xxa

[WinterBabyof89]

anna down days are to be expected.. So pleased that you have your husband & daughter to remind you life's good bits :)

The fear of another loss is very real - having it happen so late means we have to wait until we have a baby in our arms to breathe a little easier.

I remember pressing my tummy to see if I got a reaction from DD whilst I was in the ambulance being transferred from birth centre to hospital.. She was unresponsive & I knew that she was dying. It's one of my most harrowing memories because there was nothing I could do to save her.

If you ever need a nudge for ttc again, or if you do get a bfp & need a pick me up, let me know - I'm such a positive person it's annoying at times.. Haha!
My experience with DD has made me want even more children than before..if next one is a girl DH says we stop, if it's a boy we can keep going until we get another girl..so I could end up with a very large family :)

Rambled again - off to do my cross stitch! Xxx

[townsender]

Hi everyone,

kayleigh, emptying kitchen cupboards doesn't sound like much fun when you're 8 weeks pregnant. Hope you made DH do all the bending over. At least you'll have it sorted soon.

anna I am feeling pretty terrified right now ... give yourself time to become strong again.

Winter gx for you and your large family mission! When are you due to test?

I've had a fairly dull day, which is not what I need now I'm stressing about MC rather than TTC. We got our new dishwasher installed without a repeat of Friday night's flooding incident - hooray!
I wasn't going to start thinking about maternity stuff ... but then found myself on the NCT site looking at when the courses are in my area. The earliest one I found was already for people due mid-Sept to mid-Oct (I'm due around 26th Sept I think). So of course I panicked and have sent them an email to register interest. I think they're very popular where I live, and I really want to do it to meet other mums.
At least I know that they will refund my class fee if something happens (like last time), but what annoyed me last time was that they don't refund your NCT membership fee, so not only was I out of pocket but I also kept getting all the happy-family-smiley-baby magazines in the post. Ho hum, I could have cancelled them I suppose, but I just never got round to it.

Busy week planned at work, a nice distraction, so hopefully the week will fly by.

[vicky123uk]

Hi all,

Me: vicky123uk
Age:30
DC: DS 4, he is a monster and My angel DD Edie still born at 36+3 (sept 2014) after a fetal- maternal haemorrhage.
TTC: Dec 14 now on month 2

Atm now in our 2ww so fingers crossed although doubt it. X

[vicky123uk]

Ooo I forgot to say congratulations to town just spotted your news on catching up last thread!!

[Annaelisabeth]

• congrats Town +
  
  Super pleased for you!
  
  Xxa

[WinterBabyof89]

town I did NCT.. It was good, although my class ended up being very small (1 other couple!) but I really enjoyed doing it.. :)
Met up with the other mum a few times since with her little girl - such a cute baby.. We would have had a good friendship had things have turned out..

Bloody baby emails/letters are a pain in the ass when it's ended badly.. I've not been back on my old pregnancy forum since I went into labour with dd..I can't bear my pregnancy ticker saying 'congratulations on your new arrival'.. Why don't they just know it all went to shit! Very inconsiderate of them ha!

Hope you get on the course & meet lots of mummy's-to-be!
Cd1 for me so not testing until 22nd Feb..xx

[tahunny]

Name: tahunny
Age: 31
Angel: daughter, 'S' stillborn 35weeks, april 2013. Didnt have a pm, but there was a true knot in her cord which doctors said was likely to be the cause.
Other: dd aged6, rainbow 9months
Not ttc. Seeking to offer support and encouragement to ladies ttc.

Kayleigh, no one will think you're demanding for asking for mw appointments weekly. When I first saw mw, she said she would see me again in 3-4 weeks. I instantly felt panicky about that and told her. She was totally fine with seeing me weekly. She couldnt have been nicer tbh which was reassuring. For me, it made my pregnancy go so much faster. As soonas I had one appointment with mw, it was countdown to next one, then countdown to scan, then countdown to mw again. It broke up the months into little stepping stones, and before I knew it, I was at my 36wk scan and consultationx booking induction for 7days time. She's 9 months old now. Dont be afraid to ask. After what youve been through, you'll find they will bend over backwards for you without having to demand.

[tahunny]

Forgot to say thankyou for the new thread town

[kayleighferrie1985]

town unfortunatley DH was at work over the weekend so i packed it up on my own- to be honest i preferred it that way as i now know where everything is.

tahunny thank you for that, my booking in appointment tomorrow morning is with a midwife i've never seen (and all 3 dc's have been under the same community midwives) so i'm wondering if the one i'm seeing has experience with looking after rainbow mums.

AFM well the kitchen's all gone to pot! Came home this morning from the shops to find the plumber, electrician, plasterer and DH all stood in there scratching their heads . I was already in a bad mood due to seeing a relative in the supermarket who told me " she's heard our good news"- this is someone i hadn't told myself so it appears the rest of my family can't keep their gobs shut. So, i currently have no upper kitchen cupboards, an extension full of dismantled said upper kitchen cupboards, no working cooker and huge boards of the stuff that'll eventually be going on the kitchen walls in the hallway. And this is until Thursday at least [meltdown emoticon]

Hope everyone is having a less stressful time of things xx

[MademoiselleG]

Thank you for the new thread town

MademoiselleG
Age: 33
Children: dd age 3, tfmr summer 2014 for 'G', early mc in December 2014
Ttc again but in post-mc cycle so who knows...

I know I don't post very much anymore. I'm not sure why. However I do get a lot of comfort from reading your posts and good news.

kayleigh 8 weeks already! It's all becoming very real!
And town congratulaions, what great news.

AFM: nothing to declare. I'm getting forever positive opks and trying not to think too much about it all. I've kind of become immune to ttc/not ttc/not being pg. I'm trying to enjoy what we do have, which, I try to remind myself, is so much compared to others everywhere in the world. Trying!

A sad welcome to the new arrivals and a warm hug x

[EllieandAnna]

Oh dear Kayleigh hope you manage to return to some semblance of order soon! I'm sorry your news was shared before you were ready to tell everyone, hopefully it was done with good intentions (although I can't imagine that will make it feel any better)

town I've never been to an nct class but hear they are great for making friends. The most valuable class I went to was hypnobirthing. I thought they were joking when they said it helps to breathe through the pain, definitely helped a very painful labour with no pain relief (not through choice!) And I'm a wuss!

Cake Do you have a date for your consultant appointment? If not I'd say don't be afraid to chase them up. When I called they said all my results were through and they booked my appointment for the following week. Bit annoying really, not like it was important or anything. I hope it goes well for you.

Well I'm feeling really positive at the moment. Dh said the change in me after AF arrived was surprising, I was like a kid at Christmas Mainly as it meant I didn't have to go on the pill and wait what seemed like a lifetime before ttc. Also dh's unsubstantiated disciplinary being dropped and resulting in his line manager getting a disciplinary has helped- I now believe in karma Not really sure how all this ttc works, never had to try before so am just jumping on dh and hoping for the best!

Hope everyone is doing ok. A big thanks again to everyone on this thread, I think it has been one of the reasons I've coped so far x

[Cakebaker35]

ellie I'm glad you're feeling really positive again. My consultant appointment is on Wednesday, gulp. I've been desperate to have this but now it's nearly here I feel nervous, for all sorts of reasons. A bit like anna, I'm still in limbo about ttc and I guess this meeting will be a definitive answer medically if we can or not. And if they say yes then it's down to dh and I to try and figure out if we will or not. My head is all over the place on that as while I feel desperate to have another child, I just don't know if I am brave enough and can put my family, dd and dh through it all again. Feeling very scared and sad at the moment. This thread helps so much to see the bravery of all you ttc-ers. But I'm still lurking.

madem glad to hear from you. It was your kindness that pointed me in the direction of this thread, so please do stick around even if you don't post too often x

kayleigh annoying when others share news you aren't ready to disclose yet, grr! But hoping its just the excitement they feel for you and is meant well x

Sorry not to name check everyone, sending you all hugs x

[kayleighferrie1985]

madem the one cycle i didn't really give ttc much thought (it was December and there was far too much going on at dc's school and organising the annual drunken-fest that is my birthday) it flaming happened! A friend told me it would happen that way (and has taken great delight in the "i told you so" business ever since)

Thanks ellie it'll be chaos until Thursday at least, but luckily dh is off work until Friday so i can leave stuff to him and just lie in my bed with a good book. I'm a bit less miffed about the relatives now, i appreciate they're all just pleased for us, i think it's just i'd have preferred to wait a few more weeks. I'm so pleased things are looking more positive for you, and glad your dh's awful situation at work has been resolved. I have to admit your wording of jumping on your dh did make me chuckle

[EllieandAnna]

Kayleigh I always just jump on and hope for the best unfortunate wording, I blame tiredness! Have been going to the gym and swimming every day, along with dog walks in the morning. I'm determined to shift this baby weight, actually it's grief weight (I put on most of the weight after we lost A) Resting in bed with a good book sounds like a plan, make the most of being looked after!
Cake Sorry you are having a hard time at the moment. Will be thinking of you Wednesday, I hope it goes as well as it can. We were given no real reason as to why and it really felt like a set back at the time, but now I take strength from that. It did bring up all the grief again that day but then afterwards I felt like I could draw a line under everything and try to move on. As for ttc, take your time to figure out what you want, I've been back and forth with what feels right. I was worried I was maybe trying to replace A. Ultimately I decided I started to ttc over a year ago because I wanted a child, that hasn't changed so I'm just going to go for it. Still feels pretty scary though!
I've got Allterrain to thank for finding the thread, I'm very grateful as all of you ladies have helped me through some difficult times.

[Ducky23]

Hi guys thanks for the new thread.

Ducky
Age: 24
Dc: little angel still born at 32 weeks due to 'placental failure' () on 05/02/14 and my little rainbow born 08/12/14

Need to read back over the new thread!

Still have a poorly little boy but fingers crossed he is improving

X

[kayleighferrie1985]

ellie i wouldn't know about being looked after- i escaped the house of doom as i'm now calling it and went to my friend's house today.

ducky how is ds? I hope he's continuing to improve, even though it probably only seems like small steps right now. Thinking of you both

AFM the kitchen's still a mess, but now instead of it just being one wall being done, it's 3! It's a good job my landlord's footing the bill for all this as i dread to think how much it'll cost. Add to that the cost of the electrician having to come back round today because we had "illegal" wiring in the kitchen that needed making safe . Midwife appointment went ok, although she told me i won't see any ante-natal staff now until the 12 week scan, and that i won't see my consultant until 16 weeks

[April1984]

Hi all, hope it's ok to join.

Me: April
Age:30
Angel: DS born at 25 weeks in early December 2014 and died after 12 days in the NICU on 18 December 2014. Almost certainly due to an incompetent cervix.
Other DC: None
TTC/Rainbow: Just starting to think about TTC. Done a lot of research on IC and v scared about the future. I will have to have some kind of preventative stitch, either TVC or TAC.

[Ducky23]

April so sorry you find yourself here sorry for your loss. It's such early days for you aswell. X

I know it's no help to you but my friend lost her baby due to ic, she had another little boy since, she had a stitch in and was on bed rest for a lot of the end of her pg but her rainbow got here safe and healthy.

It's such a shame that we have seen so many new names on here but the ladies on this thread are all amazing x