ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

(1000 Posts)
northdownmummy Mon 05-Jan-15 19:27:03

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

Treaclepie19 Mon 05-Jan-15 19:36:33

Hi all!
Thanks for the new thread x

epskie Mon 05-Jan-15 19:46:29

Hi smile

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Mon 05-Jan-15 20:11:11

<wanders in and does a wee in corner to mark place>

DoctorDonnaNoble Mon 05-Jan-15 20:14:37

Hey, not really TTC at the moment just seeing what happens. DFIL has been sectioned so we have other things to focus on at the moment.

Thepurplegiraffe Mon 05-Jan-15 20:36:46

Gr33dy, I would try not to worry about the age part too much. I am 36 and always have done and was told the other day that it is a very average age for having babies where I live.

Gr33dyeggs Mon 05-Jan-15 20:46:16

Thanks stocking & purplegiraffe.

My DS bumped my chin with his head earlier, and while it did hurt, I don't think it warrented 5 mins of tears. Brave face of AF arriving has slipped.

epskie Mon 05-Jan-15 20:54:54

Anybody know what the side effects of misoprostol are please? I feel odd :-/

Allthequeenshorses Mon 05-Jan-15 21:05:53

Good evening all, marking place (lol guy brush) and reading back over last few pages of old thread.

Epskie I'm sorry I don't but I'm sure someone more knowledgable will be along any moment. Hope your ok.

gr33dyeggs brave face slipping here to. Af due Thursday and I'm already grumpy so presuming on way. Again.

Hello to all, old and new.

Bumblepops19 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:32:11

Hello again!

Was it on this thread someone said about being able to feel pain when they ovulated? I can't find thread.

Felt really bloated all of today but not like a stomach bloat.. Hadn't been being careful when dtd but after an argument and DP telling me we can't have a baby I'm now worried I've finally managed a sticky bean.. Or a bean at least. :/ too early to poas.

Welcome to the mad house new ladies, everyone is so nice in here and makes me feel sane so thankyou everyone! smile

Gr33dyeggs Mon 05-Jan-15 22:53:04

bumblepops some women get ovulation pain. It tends to be one sided around the middle of cycle. I feel a sharp twisting type of pain.

cremedecacao Mon 05-Jan-15 22:56:22

Epskie, what kind of odd??

I finally got my BFN after the MC. I haven't tested in a week though so I reckon it has been negative for longer.

Feel pregnant again now. I thought I ovulated last Sunday (EWCM). PROBABLY just hormones but you never know! We have been at it like rabbits as soon as we were able to. If I did ovulate last Sunday, I should be due this weekend- right? So I could test this weekend too I guess. At least i now know that a positive will be a new positive now, rather than a positive from the MC.

Bumblepops19 Mon 05-Jan-15 23:01:35

Thanks greedy, that's what it feels like one side sharp twisting pain lasted about 5 mins but now have a dull ache.

Fingers crossed creme hope you get a BFP

cremedecacao Mon 05-Jan-15 23:04:59

Me too! Though would probably be too good to be true to get another BFP so soon after my MC. Medical Management was on 13th Dec and I think I ovulated on the 27th/28th.

Gr33dyeggs Tue 06-Jan-15 07:50:27

creme on average women get AF around 14 days after ovulation so AF wouldn't really be due that soon. You may be able to test that soon with some pregnancy tests though. I've always waited til missed period so not much help sorry!

epskie how are you now? I didn't have medical management so don't know what you should be expecting. Call the ward asap if you're still feeling odd.

I sadly told OH I was on yesterday and he was rather positive saying it would take a few months this time (we waited 3 as per recommendations 7 years ago) so think he's working on that principle. Fx.

epskie Tue 06-Jan-15 08:44:55

Hi, sorry - 'odd' was a bit vague and I fell asleep after I posted. Had sickness and diarrhoea and a weird heartburn type of feeling but not really any heavy bleeding sigh Wait and see what happens I guess.

Hope everyone is feeling ok this morning x

StockingFullOfCoal Tue 06-Jan-15 10:27:46

Found you all waves

DTD last night. We seem to be taking a rather cavalier approach to lack of contraception. AF just finished on Sunday. I've just realise if I get a sticky bean this month my DD will be around the same date DHs son died sad DH doesn't want to postpone TTC to avoid triggery dates (birthday, day he died, funeral day) as that would take out the whole of September, October and November. Its so hard, its not the sort of thing you can post and ask for advice on even on an anonymous board for grieving parents. I know DH is adamant he doesn't want to stop (confirmed this last night) but I don't know where to turn for advice re supporting him. This is all theoretical as I may well not get a BFP this month.

mrsb0710 Tue 06-Jan-15 13:10:25

Hi ladies. I hope everyone is doing as well as possible.
First day out yesterday after my MMC and ERPC. Visited with the in laws and I was ok, they didn't really talk about I and I didn't broach the subject.

Hard week, as I should have been attending my first mid wife appointment, instead I'm still bleeding,cramping and feeling crap.

DH is being lovely and taking me for lunch in London tomorrow, which will be nice.

I've started my pre natal vitamins again and decided we'll just start trying asap, and try not to think of what went wrong.

Back at work Monday and absolutely dreading it. Decided to stick it out for a while and look to work elsewhere. I don't need the stress and anxiety they cause me, particularly after what has happened and when we try again.

epskie I hope that you get some answers. I'm sorry that they are making you wait and see.

flowers to all you strong, amazing ladies.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Tue 06-Jan-15 13:23:13

stocking I'm so desperately sorry for your dh. I just can't imagine.
Are you able to discuss it with him quite openly? I wonder if there is a way to gently suggest that you just ttc despite those dates (if that's what you want) anyway? Taking three months a year out of the equation seems a bit unrealistic as our bodies can be so unpredictable. And maybe he wouldn't want to actually ttc during those months either which means taking 6 months away from ttc? If he can find a way to feel that even if a new baby arrives in one of those difficult months, it would be unrelated and have no affect on his memory of his son or how he chooses to honour that. Does he also avoid lots of other things like holidays etc in those months? God, it must be unbearably painful and maybe it is the kind of thing you can't even suggest.

StockingFullOfCoal Tue 06-Jan-15 14:16:15

guy I spoke to my Grandma this morning (she lost her second son at 6 months old to pneumonia, 53 years ago now) to ask for some guidance re all the above. Its only been 3 years for DH and she was recounting how raw it still was for her and my Grandad at 3 years - they had another son eventually, there is 7 years between the youngest and my Dad (my Dads the eldest, he is only 11 months older than their second son) and she just said that all I can do is ask DH and ask him to consider how he would feel if I was to be pregnant and have the baby on/around those dates/months, would it help him heal, would it make him worse, would it made him feel like he was trying to replace his son, that sort of thing. All these questions make my head spin and I'm not the one who has to answer them, I have no idea how he could possibly feel about any of these things.

DH is the sort of person that will probably say "I have no idea how I will feel until it happens. Deep breath and a jump?" Thats what he said when we spoke about having my coil out

This Christmas has been unbearably hard for him, my DD is only 9 months older than what his son would be and seeing her tear open her presents coupled with the MC its just broken him. sad

epskie Tue 06-Jan-15 14:21:17

stocking my heart aches for both of you. It must be so sad, big hugs x

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Tue 06-Jan-15 14:30:03

Well done you on getting some guidance. I think those questions sound really sensible and kind. You should ask him then, exactly as you have phrased. I guess you have to prepare yourself for whatever his answer is and go along with it.

StockingFullOfCoal Wed 07-Jan-15 07:35:50

Had the chat last night. His feelings were that we could have a November/December due date and I could have the baby prem in October, and that there's no point stopping TTC to avoid a certain month as pregnancy and TTC are so unpredictable, and that he wants to continue and bollocks to trying to avoid stuff. Which is pretty much what I expected from him, he works things out in his head based on logic more than emotions although I wasn't sure this was how it would pan out.

So we're officially continuing TTC grin

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Wed 07-Jan-15 09:48:14

smile smile stocking.

TeenieDeenie Wed 07-Jan-15 10:12:01

Hi all, been a few days since I've been on so just catching up.

Stocking great outcome to your chat last night smile

Epskie How are you feeling today? Any better?

I had my follow up scan on Monday. It all went fairly well, although I was in the same room as when they discovered my mmc. The midwife went out to get her colleague and I was left alone for a few minutes, I felt myself welling up with sadness again. All my files were lying out and I seen the scans of the big empty sac with the teeny little dot in the corner. That image will haunt me forever... sad

They said everything looked like it had passed and my womb had gone back down to normal size again. They also took a swab to check there was no infection. Pregnancy test on Monday morning still very very faint so need to take another next Monday and call back.

Has anyone else had like an aching pain in their pelvis and lower abdomen? I find it comes and goes but was wondering if maybe it is everything just healing or possibly ovulation? Also how long did everyone's first AF take after their mc? All the books say 4-8 weeks, is this right?

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