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What are your baby fears & First time sans protection experiences

(9 Posts)
BabyBumpHopeful Mon 05-Jan-15 02:32:05

My DH promised me that January was the month he was willing to start TTC. My period just ended (yesterday) and I've been sitting here thinking about having sex with the intention of getting pregnant. It's just so weird and exciting and scary, all at the same time.

I have no idea how people don't go crazy month after month! After spending so many years trying not to get pregnant how does it not consume your every thought? How do you just relax about it, while still paying attention because you're actively trying (tracking etc)?

My other thoughts have been about my baby fears. The idea of having a baby is a great one. All squishy and warm and poopy and crying and smiling and giggling and all that fun stuff... but when I think about him/her as a teen rebelling, or making what I feel are poor choices (thus breaking our hearts), or other troubles it's almost enough to stop me from wanting to have kids. I'm terrified of all the bad being too much to handle.. is this feeling normal? Did anyone else feel this way?

TIA for any words of wisdom!

BabyBumpHopeful Mon 05-Jan-15 02:33:02

p.s. Yes I NC'd on purpose. Not ready to come out until I'm pregnant (you never know who's watching :D)

jellypi3 Mon 05-Jan-15 13:07:46

Tbh I try not to focus on the future too much. I want to start my family, what happens after that is tomorrow's problem.

For us, I am currently trialling the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor, I tried temping but because I am an erratic sleeper I'm not sure it worked (though going to try again next cycle). I also use an app to track periods etc.

But mostly I am just focusing on DTD every other day, sometimes more often. I know some people only DTD during their fertile phase but I am concerned about missing mine!

The first time you do it without a condom or protection it's terrifying, exhilirating, nervewracking, all those senstations rolled in to one. For me it almost felt like being a teenager again, doing it all again for the first time.

Now, it's becoming a bit of a chore. Try to spice it up a bit, keep it romantic.

mrscatmad31 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:37:20

I also finished AF yesterday and am now officially ttc! I'm so worried about lots of things, money, space, etc but trying not to stress as I know I want kids so just going to go for it! good luck smile smile

Stoatystoat Mon 05-Jan-15 23:18:05

Am with you. This is our first month 'properly' - just making a concerted effort to dtd at opportune times and see where that gets us. We've been together yonks and have never thrown caution to the wind. We have also had some dry spells so feeling really close now we are active!

But I am scared. Not of being a parent. But I have a terrible fear of pregnancy, childbirth, examinations, hospitals, post natal depression blah blah blah. But I'm 35 next month so feeling the fear...and doing it anyway. We have said we will spend 2015 just shagging frequently when we want to. If no baby, we are going to have a holiday at the end of the year. Reading on here, looking at buggies and maternity clothes keeps my eye on the prize until it happens, supposing it does.

Wish I could be of help! I will be starting counselling this month to help. I would have probably tried earlier if it came out a better way. I feel it's now or never.

I hope it doesn't become a chore, we are certainly laughing about it a lot!

BabyBumpHopeful Tue 06-Jan-15 03:30:36

According to my app my fertile window opens in 5 days.. we still haven't DTD but I'm hoping to talk to DH later tonight with a view to DTD every other day or every 3rd day starting tomorrow, just to be sure to hit my window.

When I was testing my ovulation dates I ovulated around day 16 and it's only day 7 today. I think (hope) that should be good enough for a BFP this month.

I'm in my early 30's and I also have polycystic ovaries so I'm a little (okay a lot) worried that will impact things as well.

ARGH! I know everyone hopes for a BFP their first month and I'm certainly not any different to that thinking. My DH is a "typical man" with the "we'll be fine" response to many of my concerns. I think (like we all do) that he thinks it's as simple as no condom = baby... if only!!

BabyBumpHopeful Tue 06-Jan-15 03:58:32

Oh yes, PND is a big fear of mine too, and worrying about it doesn't help prevent it, quite the opposite so that's just great!

I think I'll have to wait and see how it goes before DH will give me a timeframe for how long we'll trying before doing x, y or z. I'd like to just keep trying trying trying but... I don't know how he will feel about that and I know it stressed him out which is why I try not to bring it up all the time.

Stoatystoat Tue 06-Jan-15 16:33:00

I'm fortunate that my sister is hyper aware of my mood - I've had depression before and part of why I'm planning counselling is to deal with some of my family ishoos that could feasibly arise again - so I will be relying on my loved ones to cart me off.

We haven't put a window on trying as such, just keep going until it happens. And do nice things in the meantime. I've had so many friends take a bit longer and still got there, I'm not expecting it to be quick. Of course, DH thinks his swimmers are up to the task...

BabyBumpHopeful Wed 07-Jan-15 01:38:59

Officially TTC! Not a fertile day today (according to my app) but I figured it was as good as a time as any to start and to also truly gauge how my DH was feeling about the whole thing.

I did some more reading online and I'm going with the "lying in bed for 15 minutes after intercourse" route and the "orgasm after intercourse" one so we shall see!

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