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Help - TTC & Wedding planning!

(17 Posts)
JLondon Sun 04-Jan-15 11:09:55

Hi there everyone (and happy new year!)

I am completely new to mumsnet but my fiancée and I are now 6 months away from our wedding and are a bit baby obsessed! We have been together for nearly seven years and over the last two we've desperately wanted to get pregnant but have said we would wait until we bought our own home (which we did in 2013) then got married (which we're doing in July 2015).

I've been on the pill for over 10 years (I am 28 and went on it at 16) and several of my friends are struggling to come off their contraceptive / struggling to get pregnant having recently got married. I know it is just a few months and I should wait until after the wedding and honeymoon but I have a thyroid condition so am worried we'll struggle. I also can't explain it as it is a really strong feeling / urge to start TTC even though I know it will affect the wedding/honeymoon.

Has anyone got experience of being pregnant and getting married? We're trying to decide whether to start TTC and just deal with it on the day or whether we should wait and just take all the right steps so we're ready. I know the latter is the sensible option but it just doesn't feel right!

Thank you mumsnetters!!

Xxx

sammylou1 Sun 04-Jan-15 11:15:24

Hi there

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!
We decided to wait until after our wedding due to the risk of me feeling unwell on the day and for the flight and honeymoon.
However now that we are 14 months in to ttc with no luck I wish we hadn't waited.

Only you know how you would cope with feeling sick/tired etc on your wedding day and while travelling, but if you think you could cope with it then I say go for it!

Good luck, ��

JLondon Sun 04-Jan-15 11:24:20

Hi Sammy Lou, thanks for responding and the advice!

It's just so bizarre your whole life you get told you can get pregnant at any point and then when it actually comes to it it is completely different and is far more difficult. I'm just so tempted to get started or rather stop trying not to conceive so if it happens over the next six months it happens and we just deal with the consequences.

Hang on in there you'll luck will change soon I'm sure xxx

chipsandpeas Sun 04-Jan-15 11:28:59

there is also the option of coming off the pill and using condoms to get your cycle back to normal
downside is you might end up being on your period for the wedding/honeymoon

personally id just wait and stop taking the pill the day i came home from my honeymoon

tumbletumble Sun 04-Jan-15 12:06:07

Given your age, I'd probably wait until after the wedding (wouldn't say the same if you were mid 30s or older). Good advice about coming off the pill and using condoms though.

ab444 Sun 04-Jan-15 12:26:24

this is almost exactly the same situation as me! getting married in august. we've decided that I'm coming off the pill this month to give myself time to get back into normal periods and then whatever happens happens. I would be quite happy to be pregnant at my wedding and we're not going on a flashy honeymoon so don't need to worry about flights or anything smile I just really feel like I can't wait any longer, have been broody for a couple of years now!

JLondon Sun 04-Jan-15 12:35:32

Thanks for all the replies, it's really good to get some advice / views as we're new to this and it can be really hard to know what is the right thing to do. I'm finding the sensible thing is often the thing I definitely don't want to do!

Ab444 - Firstly congrats on your engagement! I know exactly what you mean and just feel so impatient at the minute! We're going to come off the pill at the end of my pack and use extra protection for a while and then just see what happens.

Xxx

PenguinTuxedo Sun 04-Jan-15 17:48:45

Me and dh had been TTC before our engagement, and got married in August. All last year we still TTC but we weren't successful. We really didn't mind if I got pregnant before the wedding. We knew it might take us ages to get pregnant, so we just wanted to get going.

Now I am pregnant, I cant help but feel it would have been a disaster to have been pregnant for the wedding. I'm 10 weeks atm and I feel so ill. I can barely eat or drink, very dizzy, exhausted etc. I know pregnancy isn't an illness, but the only way I can describe it for me, is like having the flu. If I had been like this at our wedding, I honestly wouldn't have enjoyed myself. I would have had to try and 'make' it through the day, and that's not what you want for your wedding.

On the other hand, you may have no symptoms at all, so you might be fine. But there is no way to know for sure.

I do think coming off the pill now is a v v good idea though, as your cycle can take a while to go back to normal (think this was partially my problem).

sammylou1 Sun 04-Jan-15 18:22:50

Penguin - how long were you trying before you fell if you don't mind me asking? X

Bumblepops19 Sun 04-Jan-15 18:27:41

Hello all!

Finally found some other people to chat about all of this too! I'm in the same boat, engaged not getting married until 2017 ( so far away but we want a specific date). I was on the implant until it started to disagree, went onto the pill ( had trouble with it when I was younger and had a mc so dubious about it working this time round) DP thinks I'm going loony because I'm constantly talking about babies, lots of friends having babies and if we wait until we bought a house I'd be at least 50!! I'm horribly broody and DP is a very practical person, I agree with everything he says but secretly feel devastated he won't agree to try now! 4 years is too long to be broody and suffered a mc with DP in August so that made it worse! Constantly going round in circles getting into a right muddle!

Sorry for the essay just so glad to be able to get it off my chest!

Welliesandpyjamas Sun 04-Jan-15 18:58:47

Don't forget about the lovely excitement of your wedding day and the planning! It is only ONE day, maybe just focus on enjoying every moment of it, and tell yourselves you'll start ttc on honeymoon, the old fashioned way! TTC can be very exciting, don't let it take away from the excitement of the wedding.

Having had four quite different pregnancies, and none of them as bad as some poor women have them, I would be strongly against suffering any pregnancy symptoms during your wedding day! I've been suffering (non-pregnancy) flu and vomiting for the past few days and despite how utterly rotten I've felt, I wouldn't swap it for the pregnancy sickness/fatigue/constipation/carpal tunnel syndrome/back agony etc etc you get the picture grin which feel never-ending. You might be lucky and not suffer much in pregnancy but don't let your broodiness cloud the reality of how debilitating it can be smile

Boosk Sun 04-Jan-15 20:00:27

Hi Everyone, I'm in a similar position only we haven't set a date yet. Realistically I think it'll be 2016 so for now we are working on the ttc. I expect once we have set a date we'll be careful to time it so that I'm not about to pop come the big day but I won't be taking a break from ttc otherwise. I'm nearly 35 though so don't want to wait any longer.

jlondon coming off the pill now is definitely a good idea as it can take some time for your cycle to readjust. Congratulations too and to the others planning their big day.

ellstor Sun 04-Jan-15 21:30:05

Me and dh started trying before we got married in July but didn't get preg til September and I'm so glad I wasn't preg at the wedding. I got horrible spots on my face and back and prob wouldn't have fit in my dress and it was SO hot on the day I would have just been so uncomfortable. Also.... Honeymoon - nice to have lots of celebratory drinks!!

I would definitely say wait but maybe come off the pill and be careful.

PenguinTuxedo Sun 04-Jan-15 21:48:28

Sammy, we were trying for 18 months before we got pregnant x

sammylou1 Sun 04-Jan-15 21:59:20

That gives me hope that it could still happen for us. Was that a natural pregnancy? X

jellypi3 Mon 05-Jan-15 13:18:29

My DP and I are currently engaged. Getting married in May 2016 (so about 17 months!).

However we are not stopping TTC. I came off the Depo injection in February last year, my periods returned in October (the day after DP proposed lol). Since then my cycles have been erratic. We want a family more than we want to be married, and I am not planning a huge celebration.

We have agreed to continue TTC up until we book the honeymoon (which we are leaving until quite last minute). Once the honeymoon is booked, we will halt TTC until after, because realistically the honeymoon will be the biggest cost of our wedding smile

PenguinTuxedo Mon 05-Jan-15 18:14:34

Fingers crossed for you Sammy smile

It was a natural conception, yeah. Ironically, we only dtd twice that month!

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