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First timer - Clueless about all this.

(16 Posts)
Stoatystoat Mon 29-Dec-14 21:09:40

Think I know what to do, just not when or how often.

My periods are regular -27 or 28 days.

The first day of my most recent period was 21st December. According to the online calculators, my fertile time begins tomorrow or the day after. I have noticed mucus (lovely) yesterday and today, I have a bit of a tummy ache. Time to jump DH soon?

Any advice welcome. I want to be relaxed about it. I'm 35 and it takes how long it takes. I don't want to obsessively read about it, but need friendly useful advice. No one I can talk about it to IRL. I'm determined to just enjoy it, if it hasn't happened by the end of the year, we are booking a big holiday so I can tell myself it's win-win. Am taking folic acid as of last week and been making a note of my periods since September. Not planning to change anything else unless advised.

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 29-Dec-14 21:16:35

We've just had our fourth month of trying. We are using pre seed and ovulation prediction tests. Other than that, similar to you, trying to relax about it all. Good luck trying

Stoatystoat Mon 29-Dec-14 21:20:43

Thanks, same to you. Going to get some preseed tomorrow. Not sure about these ovulation tests, maybe worth investing.

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 29-Dec-14 21:45:37

I bought a job lot of cheap ones online. I wouldn't use them if they were really pricey. I'll see if I can find the link

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 29-Dec-14 21:47:13

Here: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B004EYH8VM/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1419889551&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SY200_QL40 you only need 4-6 per month so that's quite a few months supply there

stubbornstains Mon 29-Dec-14 21:51:26

A book called "Taking Charge of your Fertility" is great. It also has a connected website: www.tcoyf.com. Its preferred method of determining ovulation is by taking your temperature daily- great fun if you like drawing little graphs grin.

stubbornstains Mon 29-Dec-14 21:52:48

(Or possibly charts. Or line graphs. Sorry, I was the only girl in the school to not get GCSE maths blush).

Stoatystoat Mon 29-Dec-14 21:56:49

I also lack a GCSE in maths and I vomited during the relevant biology class. I'm relying on MN!

Thanks for the amazon link.

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 29-Dec-14 21:59:18

I looked into the temperature taking and bought a thermometer but gave up. You have to take your temp first thing when you wake up and you have to wake at the same time every day. It's all too much for me first thing in the morning.

stubbornstains Mon 29-Dec-14 22:06:08

I suffer from really disturbed sleep sometimes, and you can still see enough of a pattern to work out when you've ovulated.....the worst bit is taking your temp with the duvet over your head so the bloody beeping from the digital thermometer doesn't wake DP up!

....oh by the way, if anyone wants a free (unopened) tube of Conceive Plus? Got a BFP before we even had a chance to use it. Yes, the stuff is so powerful that just having it in the house works wonders! wink

I was 35 when we conceived DS. We took the approach that we didn't want to get too hung up on when I was ovulating etc. I did use a period tracker app on my phone but otherwise our approach was to have sex frequently (every 3-4 days where poss), to enjoy it and try to be as relaxed as possible. Ultimately it's what works for each couple but I was concerned that if I focused on the temperatures and specific times of the month then it would seem too functional and put us under unnecessary pressure.

All the best smile

softlysoftly Mon 29-Dec-14 22:37:50

Have you just started?

If so back away now! Just have sex without contraception when you fancy it. The end!

Time enough to start "trying" if you find it doesn't happen.

Stoatystoat Mon 29-Dec-14 22:50:08

Yes just started. Am thinking of leaving the temperature stuff for the time being, but making a concerted effort during certain points if the mood takes us. I've got the period tracker on my phone.

I swing between thinking ought to get a move on because Kirstie Allsop says when I'm celebrating my 35th next month, all my ovaries are snatched away from me and thinking I've got a good while and what will be will be. My younger sister took a couple of years so prepared that it could take that long and my nephew was well worth the wait.

Hanging out here for the anonymous company smile

scottishbride Tue 30-Dec-14 10:04:11

Hello,
I'll keep you company, I'm approaching 35 too.
And although I am writing here on mumsnet I'm defo trying to take a more laid back approach! I had my coil out in March and we started "trying" in June (because we were getting married in July and I didn't want to be ill or obviously preggo at the wedding!). Just thought we'd get a honeymoon baby, but no such luck so went a bit crazy for a couple of months trying to jump on DH when I thought I might be ovulating (but thought opks and temping too obsessive so was never quite sure) and surprise surprise, this had the reverse effect and we had a couple of months of stressful "trying" which was not enjoyable and certainly did not help us conceive!
I am now trying to take the advice of others on this thread that say relax and have sex when you feel like it, as long as it's 2-3 times per week it's fine. My aim in life now if for me and Dh to have a lovely time as we are very lucky to have each other, because he is totally fab and I don't intend to scare him away!
Sorry, that is a massive long rant, and everyone is different, so you need to do what is right for you, but bizarrely, the more I read about conceiving, the more I think that just relaxing is the way to go! Good luck.

Stoatystoat Tue 30-Dec-14 18:18:34

Congratulations on getting hitched to a fab DH. Thank you for your advice, I will take that on board. I'm going to try and be chilled and we are making lots of lovely plans for the year and if they end up being thrown out of the window, then that'll be nice. I probably sound like I'm overthinking it but I've a history of depression and I don't want this journey to take me there, hence a few strategies in place.

scottishbride Fri 02-Jan-15 10:22:39

Thank you. That sounds good. We also started making some plans for 2015 yesterday, including some trips away which might be more difficult if I'm pregnant, but I've not got pregnant so far and I've decided I need to enjoy my life and relax so I don't look back on this year as "the year I didn't get pregnant", but more like, this was the year I had loads of fun with my lovely Dh, family and great friends. Then what will be will be. I think it could be easy to slip I to depression with it because a period can sometimes feel like a failure, which it's not, it's just reminding you that your body is working and ready to go whenever the right sperm and egg meet. Happy new year to you all xx

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