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help! trying for a baby

(11 Posts)
chelseaa21 Fri 19-Dec-14 14:53:15

so i've been trying to conceive for just over 2 months and i know that it can take a lot longer than that, but already i am starting to become very upset with never getting a positive sad i'm pretty sure i ovulated on the 7th and i'm wandering when is the best time to try a pregnancy test?
mostly i think i just need someone to give me some support, i feel exteremely alone and very upset most days. I cant get it out of my head and it seems every one around me is falling pregnant, everyone but me! even my close friend has just found out she is having twins sad

chelseaa21 Fri 19-Dec-14 15:18:11

anyone? sad

ruth2615 Fri 19-Dec-14 15:34:05

Hi Chelseaa

Take a deep breath! 2 months is not a long time (I'm at 3 months TTC and trying to maintain my own zen, so I know where you are coming from). Last month I got totally sucked into the TTC craziness and I know exactly what you mean about not being able to get it out of your head. You are not alone in this however - have you seen how many TTC and symptom spotting threads there are?!
Its the law that the minute you decide to get pregnant the entire world will spring up with babies and all your friends will be having them. But.... keep it real, it will almost certainly happen sooner rather than later. As for when to test I would ask when are you due on? Best bit of advice I read was just to wait until you've missed your period by a few days and then test -not easy to hold out but don't test early. Otherwise you 1.) end up spending loads on tests just to get BFNs, 2.) drive yourself crackers wondering if it is a false negative 3.) risk getting a BFP that doesn't make it to your period and then you will be left mourning something that was just not meant to be.

My advice is try not to symptom spot (I was fooled by progesterone symptoms myself, got my hopes up and was crushed!) and try not to cruise all the threads on ttc because that will mean thinking about conceiving will be all you can do.

Hang on in there!

dizzylemon Fri 19-Dec-14 15:40:51

Having spent a large proportion of my teens being told that even breathing near a boy would get me pregnant (slight exaggeration, but you get the jist?), when it comes to actually trying it isn't always that simple. Well, it probably is for some, though everyone is different.

So whilst some around you might actually seem to get up-duffed by standing next to a bloke, the truth is that there are lots of ladies keeping it quiet about it because I suppose people don't really like being asked questions about it, or like to keep it private.

There are some useful stats here: www.babycentre.co.uk/a1813/how-long-will-it-take-to-get-pregnant

I'm on month 6/7 and haven't had a whiff so far. I have one ovary (due to a gi-normo cyst that needed removing a few years ago) and am awaiting on a definite diagnosis of pcos, but am remaining optimistic and figure I will have fun trying in the meantime.

I think it might help you to read some of the other threads - there are lots of ladies in the same boat.

The best time to take a test, imo, is when you are, at the very least a day late for AF as it's the most obvious symptom and it can become an expensive habit. That's not to say that's a sure thing either because I hear it's possible to have a period and be pregnant.

I hate hormones! smile

chelseaa21 Fri 19-Dec-14 15:46:02

hiya, thank you for your reply Ruth! i'm glad to know i'm not alone. my periods are irregular but calculating from last month, either the 21st or the 24th, but that's still a guess as well!
Its just because this is my first time i'm also constantly worrying if i can actually conceive, if there's something wrong with me, and everything else! I am trying not to do any pregnancy tests as I know i'll be very upset if they do come back negative, at least if i do it later i'll be closer to ovulating and giving it another go again.
I am really hoping that it doesn't take too long as i have read it can take over a year, i don't think i could pt myself through this pain for a year but at the same time through the pain of giving up!
All i do every day is read threads and websites which i know does not help, whenever i see my friends its always about baby talk and its almost crushing to listen to it. Though i am extremely happy for them and wish all is well i'm also very jealous and it tends to upset me more sad
I just hate the feeling of it never going to happen and i don't know who to talk to. No one understands unless they are in the same position so when people try to help it just doesn't help at all.
thank you for your reply, i wish you the very best and hopefully time is on your side x

chelseaa21 Fri 19-Dec-14 15:53:36

Thank you for the reply 'dizzylemon' i completely understand what you mean. throughout my teens i was extremely careful, thinking that one mistake would leave me pregnant, even running to the walk in centers late at night to wait for over 6 hours for a morning after pill!
i guess i'm wishful thinking, i had no idea it would be so hard, especially as my friend and i decided to try for a child around the same time, she was pregnant instantly and has found out yesterday she was having twins, so if anything i guess i'm just feeling like the 'not so good one'
constantly wishing it was that easy for me.
i hope the best for you as well and that you will soon be seeing two lines instead of just one!
and i will take a test probably Christmas eve or maybe day after Christmas as don't want to be upset, this whole process is just very confusing if i'm honest, even the opk are giving me faint positive lines for the past 2 weeks but were very very strong on the 7th so even that i feel like i'm guessing is right
x

Rainy34 Fri 19-Dec-14 21:18:08

Chelseaa I have been ttc for 6 months and you sound like me, this is my first time ttc and i worry that there is something wrong with me, i have been off the pill for a year and suffer with spotting several days before my period is due, all i can say is don't test until you are a day or so late as you could be spending money on tests to get bfn, i nearly tested this morning thinking this could be my month only to come on tonight, so glad i did not test now, i know its easy to say but try and not get stressed on ttc, it will happen when it happens,xx

bluebeanie Fri 19-Dec-14 21:58:41

If you want to know best time to conceive/ test read 'taking charge of your fertility'. It's on Amazon. Don't be put off by the thickness of it smileIt was a real eye opener for me. Got up duffed 3rd cycle (and that was with long and irregular pcos cycles). Good luck.

Orangeisthenewbanana Sat 20-Dec-14 08:40:10

We're currently trying for DC2. DD happened in just 6 weeks, and we weren't even really trying! We started ttc again back in July and still nothing sad Have been monitoring my cycles more closely and using opks to time dtd, so when af arrived this week I was so frustrated as I couldn't work out why it wasn't working this time when in theory, we were giving ourselves a better chance!

Of course it doesn't work like that though and even if you time it exactly right, you still have to be lucky. But my sudden hallelujah moment came last night. I might be doing all the opks, taking the ttc vits that I didn't do last time, but I am also much more uptight about it all because of all that. The added stress is going to be cancelling out all the "proactive" stuff I'm doing. So no opks/phone apps/timed dtd/ mumsnet next month, just 2 weeks of regular dtd mid cycle. And me trying harder to be more chilled about it. That stats link up above really cheered me up, so thank you dizzy

ToAvoidConversation Sat 20-Dec-14 08:44:02

My advice would be to try and relax as much as possible about it and stop reading stuff online. It will only drive you crazy.

However, a good book to read is Understanding Your Fertility as it shows you how to work everything out naturally. It showed me that I did have a problem and I ended up conceiving on month 21 with help from clomid.

chelseaa21 Sun 21-Dec-14 18:22:08

hi guys! sorry for the late reply havnt had a chance to get on here the passed couple of days, i've just been trying to keep myself busy and in theory, it has helped me to become more relaxed as im giving myself less time to think about it! thank you so much for your messages, its nice to know people can relate and helps me know im not on my own so much,
and yes Ruth the horrible thoughts of thinking something is wrong with yourself, they are the very worst sad but i am trying to stay positive and only blocking out the bad, i still have not come on yet! which is anice feeling, but at the same time my periods can tend to be irrugular so who knows!
i am quite confused but just going to put of doing a pregnancy test for as long as possible! may have to also check out this book that you are talking about if all else fails again this month smile
thank you for helping me stay positive! and for those ttc i wish you the best and keep me updated!
x x

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