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Only on cycle 6 ttc#2 but so down about it :(

(5 Posts)
alien11 Thu 11-Dec-14 08:57:29

I know cycle 6 is nothing in comparison to many others trying for no.1 or no.2 but I am really feeling down at the mo. I'm constantly getting asked about when no.2 is, everyone around me is either pregnant or has a newborn. Is it wrong to just keep myself to myself for a while to give myself a slap round the chops and realise in a lucky cow to have my daughter?!?!
Sorry for the rant I'm just having one of those mornings sad my new contact lense order is lost in the post meaning I can't see except through old glasses , I had a lovely day planned with dd-Her swimming lesson then a trip to a castle. Now it's turned into nothing.
I'm a SAHM and never get one min during the day to myself. I was please that hd was off sick yday as he saw that I never sit down or stop during the day! I think he now realises what I do all day and it's not sitting drinking tea and having a cuppa...
I have also contacted local schools to try and get some voluntary work ( daughter does pre school 2 mornings) but they never reply.
I want to get back some adult interaction without baby talk and ideally get back to work of some sort. Childcare is my issue, I have none. The pre school are chocker for January so she s still stuck with two mornings until September at the moment
Please feel free to give me a virtual slap..

Thankgoodness Thu 11-Dec-14 09:27:53


Don't worry I totally feel your pain and everything you said is valid!! Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this.

It is HARD. Toddlers are hard work. Being a SAHM is hard work and TTC when it isn't happening is REALLY hard.

I am also a SAHM and TTC#2 since the beginning of the year. This morning yet another BFN feels like a BF sucker punch to the gut. I know I should be happy with DD (and I am - she is wonderful) but my family is not complete.

I volunteer with my local NCT - stuff I can do either with or around DD. So I help host a bumps and babies group and write articles for the newsletter. It's quite a nice way of having something to do that doesn't require childcare. That said I wouldn't recommend hosting Bumps and Babies while TTC as I am finding it hard seeing all those bumps and lovely teeny babies AND of course it's all baby talk!! Anyway, perhaps some NCT volunteering or with another charity would be a good idea if schools don't have room? Nice way to meet people too.

You could also think about blogging or doing something online that you can do while she naps.

Hope you manage to salvage something of your day. I have had many of those myself!! How about doing some sort of home based crafty thing with DD? We made bread hedgehogs the other day. I made a dough and she used it like playdough which worked well instead of kneading and then we shaped it, stuck in raising for eyes and she was so excited to eat one for her lunch.

Good luck!!

alien11 Fri 12-Dec-14 16:22:05

Thanks so much for your reply smile I'm glad my thoughts have been understood. I was getting a bit lonely so I volunteered as a netmums chair person and have organised 3 meets so far, have met some lovely women which is great. Will take time but I think I may have some friends out of the people I have met. I organised a play date at a play centre in the local town followed by Pizza Hut , two women came and we had a lovely time. Felt so positive after it just having some adult conversation!
I'm just waiting for AF to appear to move me onto cycle 7, took 8 months for dd but I was a lot healthier ( I don't eat much\well) and was working so could treat myself to nice relaxation time, clothes etc whereas now I'm a walking mess and the chance of pampering is zilch.
My doc said if I'm not pregnant by jan/feb she would run blood tests as I had low AMH when trying for dd. My age (32) is not good either as at 27 I had fertility level of a 32 yr old :-(.
I really hope that we both have a bfp very soon x

Shnickyshnackers Sat 13-Dec-14 23:06:50

Your get together with the other mums sounds great, sometimes just getting 'out of your own head' for a day or afternoon can really help!

I just wanted to reply to you to say I totally understand how you feel, ttc can be such a long and hard slog for many women, I think that if someone could tell you that you will ttc for 8 months and then fall pregnant then the 8 months wouldn't feel so bad, but it's the total uncertainty that comes with ttc that is the hard part! No one can tell you how many months it will take and because it is happening to our bodies it is hard to switch off from it.

peardrop2 Sat 13-Dec-14 23:32:48

I sympathise too wink I'm also a SAHM TTC#2 and it is hARD work!! Especially when all of a sudden you're surrounded by friends with newborns or announcements! I thought Christmas would help but it's just more stress grin

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