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Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

(1000 Posts)
lildottie Wed 26-Nov-14 23:02:25

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

lildottie Wed 26-Nov-14 23:06:36

Name: lil
Age: 29
DCs: None
TTC: For ever 2years + but due to start first and last attempt at IVF for DC1 on 28/12. So no Christmas BFP for me, but hopefully I'll get one made from Christmas magic!

kezaroo Wed 26-Nov-14 23:19:30

Name: Kez
age: 27
Dc's: 0
Ttc: 3 months

LemonDrizzleTwunt Wed 26-Nov-14 23:23:55

Name: Lemon
Age: 27
DCs: 2 if you count the cat and DH.
TTC: Nov2014

Due to POAMFS on 29/11/14

honeysucklejasmine Wed 26-Nov-14 23:29:29

Name: Honey
Age: 28
DCs: None. But it appears one of the moggies has worms hmm
TTC: Aug 14, mc Sept 14

deeplybaffled Wed 26-Nov-14 23:45:50

Name :Deeply
Age : 37
Dcs : none
TTC : 5 months

Currently fighting urge to POAS as have every bloody AF symptom in the book and know it would be a complete waste of time / money sad meh.

Khbutterfly11 Wed 26-Nov-14 23:53:43

Name : KH
Age : 34
Dcs : none of my own. 2 teenage step daughters and a husband though :-/ lol
TTC : August 2014

Purplecircle Thu 27-Nov-14 00:47:03

Name: Purplecircle
Age: 40
TTC since Jan14, currently suspended but hoping to get the green light for bareback before Christmas
DC: none, m/c July 14

Leela5 Thu 27-Nov-14 03:43:11

Name : KH
Name: La
Age : 34
DCs: currently upduffed with DC1 lentil-sized, otherwise two furry ginger cats!
TTC : Since July 2013, MC Sept 2014

Great title lil! Hope it's a lucky Fred viroids x

Leela5 Thu 27-Nov-14 03:44:21

Buggered it up as usual! Name definitely La and not trying to pose as kh smile

mustbemad71 Thu 27-Nov-14 07:18:03

Name: Must
Age: 43 aaargh!
DCs: 2 DDs aged 14 (going on 30) and 12
TTC: Stealth shagging when DDs are watching Celeb/Towie/MIC/have faces buried in iPhones since Nov 14

TinkerBlue Thu 27-Nov-14 07:25:14

Name: Tink
Age: 33
Dc's: Sadly none yet. One lovely Springer Spaniel and 2 almost full grown cats!
TTC: Gave up the bcp 6 years ago and have been hoping for the best ever since. Diagnosis of PCOS 12 years ago, hence not a sniff of a bfp. Currently awaiting last ever fertility referral before we decide on ivf or adoption.

sniffysnifferson Thu 27-Nov-14 08:12:16

name: sniffy
dc's: 1DS 2.6
TTC: since sept 14, fell pregnant with Ds on the first cycle so its bit of a shock that were 3 cycles in and not a sniff of a BFP.

ChatEnOeuf Thu 27-Nov-14 09:08:14

Ooh newbies! Welcome Sniffy and Deeply!

Name: Chat
Age: 33
TTC: Jan 14 - MC March and Aug (twins)
DCs: DD, 3 and currently incubating indestructabean, who is the size of a kumquat. Thanks babycenter for the education in weird fruit and veg. And a cat, two fish and a snail.

Good luck viroids - let's hope this is a luckier Fred!

Noniks3 Thu 27-Nov-14 09:47:56

Welcome Deeply & Sniffy smile

Name: Noniks
Age: 31
TTC: July '14, CP Nov '14
DCs: 2 lovely spaniels
5 DPO...

Excellent fred title Lil!

Jcandy Thu 27-Nov-14 09:58:05

Name: JC or candy
Age: 30
TTC: Aug 14
DC: none just in limbo with a disappearing reappearing vampire bfp

honeybeebumble Thu 27-Nov-14 10:42:51

Name: Bumble
Age: 29
TTC: April 2014
DC: None (yet)

Loving the fred title lil

Pisghetti Thu 27-Nov-14 10:46:52

Name: Pisghetti
Age: 34
DCs: Grumpy teenage DS and a hide and seek champion DD approximately the size of an ear of corn
TTC: June 2014

Excellent title grin Good luck viroids!

Cantbelieveimdoingthisagain Thu 27-Nov-14 11:20:33


Name: cantbelieve
Age : 28
DC : DD age 9, over excited labrador age 1, OH with sex drive of an 18 year old!!
Ttc : 3 months but only had 1 cycle - long cycles, unknown why

Khbutterfly11 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:51:17

Can i post here now.... is it safe?!

Great last word there la!! love it!

Leela5 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:52:22

Hee hee. I love filling up the Fred

Leela5 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:53:06

This title has attracted lots of newbies! Brilliant! Hi new viroids!

Khbutterfly11 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:54:03

Welcome Deeply and sniffy

Sorry chat just snorted at your stats, I read it that you were incubating indestructabean AND a cat, fish and a snail!

Why do you have a snail!?? i have a serious phobia of snails so this just baffles me!

Khbutterfly11 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:57:39

Ha la i've just realised you had the last say on the last 2 freds, one said bumsex, one said arse....... do we have issues??? hehehehehe

Khbutterfly11 Thu 27-Nov-14 12:59:17

welcome can'tbelieve

have you only come off bcp? might explain the strangely long cycle?

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