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Any over 35's ttc #1?

(33 Posts)
patienceisvirtuous Sun 16-Nov-14 20:28:08

Hello smile

I'm 36 (37 before the year's out). Started trying for #1 in March. Got BFP in April but disappointly miscarried in May.

Had various gynae issues since then but all clear now so we're good to go again smile

Am currently waiting for aunt flo (cd30) - am sure she's on her way!

Am trying to keep positive and not feel under pressure. I do though.

Come and join me, share your story and we can support each other on our journey smile

patienceisvirtuous Sun 16-Nov-14 20:28:52


patienceisvirtuous Sun 16-Nov-14 20:31:15

I couldn't face opks this month but will start them again next month so we just dtd every other day. Might ramp it up a bit next month grin

Brummiegirl15 Sun 16-Nov-14 20:55:53

Hi Patience

My story is:

Brummiegirl15, 38 TTC#1 since April 14. Mc number 1 in May at 5 weeks and Mc number 2 at 9 weeks in August.

Currently on 4th cycle since 2nd Mc and using opk's. Currently 7 dpo so waiting to see what happens after 2 ww

It's crap and stressful and I hate it :-/

nancy77 Sun 16-Nov-14 21:07:15

Hi Patience

Mine here we go:
Nancy77, 37, TTC #1, Since Sept 2013. Just had AF visiting me yesterday after first IUI session.
Planning to do another IUI or IVF, can't quite make our minds up..
Finding taking time off from work quite stressful, does anyone else feel like people at work wonder what you up to when you take a few hours off here and there? Am I just too worried about these things?

I've just had a stressful past 1 month with job/IUI/Exam for work qualification. So hopefully next month I will be more relaxed.
Have decided to go spiritual and take up some acupuncture sessions...

As Lenny (Kravitz) said, It aren't over till it's over...

patienceisvirtuous Sun 16-Nov-14 21:11:23

Hi Brummie

Sorry to hear about your 2 mc's sad that's shit.

I started off all enthusiastic and excited and was really happy to fall pg so quickly but m/c at six weeks just killed my enthusiasm altogether sad am sure you feel the same...

patienceisvirtuous Sun 16-Nov-14 21:16:36

Hi nancy

Sorry you got aunt flo yesterday sad I hope you have a much better month ahead.

My work is pretty flexible re appointments etc. I made the mistake of telling my colleague who I sit next to re m/c etc and now she regulary asks me how ttc is going sad the pressure! My own fault for not keeping trap shut in first place...

HairStylistToBoris Mon 17-Nov-14 09:50:10

I'm in this situation. 35 nearly 36 ttc number 1. Spent do long trying not to get pregnant due to life issues that it's ironic it seems so difficult now smile Started ttc in may and have gradually been getting more obsessive about it since.
I work in a really lovely hr team where people come and chat to me about loads of stuff. Ivf is so common, unbelievably so. I think many work colleagues are oblivious to it, or just assume women are hypochondriacs. No one seemed to pick up on it in any of the many teams I work with. I had no idea how common it was until I started working here!

babydream15 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:20:10

Hi ladies, I'm in a similar situation. Turned 37 last month, TTC #1. I'm guilty of putting my career before man, children or family, hence leaving the fertility window very narrow. In fact, I've been trying to avoid pregnancy all my life until about a year ago. Never been pregnant- not so sure if my body is able to conceive at all! sad There is a male factor-low motility but DH has a 5 yr old daughter from previous marriage. We spend three weekends a month with her. I find it increasingly more difficult spending time with her because having a child in my own space makes me feel deeply sad that I can't have my own and the child is my DH's with another woman. I know it sounds awfully selfish and terrible but I secretively blame the stress caused by her presence for my difficulty conceiving. I think I'm turning into an evil!!

nancy77 Mon 17-Nov-14 12:43:40

babydream15 I think stress plays such a huge part of infertility.. more than we realise. I'm convinced that starting a new job has cost us a whole year of TTC without success. Have been thinking of resigning as there is a call for voluntery redundancy at work currently .. But then we won't be as comfortable as we are now financially. I think these days you want everything, that is the problem. Money, baby, career ...

patienceisvirtuous Mon 17-Nov-14 13:59:45

I feel pretty pessimistic about the whole thing - it took me until I was 35 to meet DP after a series of sh*t relationships that didn't go anywhere. I've felt pretty much in a panic about it since I was about 30 - and now I've met the right person and we're ttc, I feel like it just won't happen sad

I need to get into a more positive mindset. I'm probably just trying to prep myself for disappointment but there's no need for that yet. I also feel pretty terrified at the thought of a future with no children.

Does anyone have any tips for staying positive through ttc? smile

babydream your thoughts are entirely understandable and it's okay to feel that when you recognise why. It's if you act on them that makes you an evil! smile

My DP is more than 8 years younger than me and really excited about becoming a dad. I hope my old ovaries don't let him down shock sad

patienceisvirtuous Mon 17-Nov-14 14:00:38

PS am 99.9999% sure AF is on her way today. I have cramps running down my legs :/

Mikeysmum2906 Mon 17-Nov-14 23:14:37

Hi ladies I'm 35 and been ttc on and off since January 2014. However I've had a rollercoaster time with health issues all year and these have probably hampered ttc. I have had the all clear in last few weeks so hoping over time I'll get lucky. It's taken me too to meet mr right. I am getting myself anxious and have this feeling that time is running out. Doing my best to stay positive but I keep having health set backs and af still arrives every month. i'm wee bit worried as periods seem to be much shorter since I came off the pill. I hoe this isn't a sign of my feetility dropping lol. Anyway ladies good luck and i hope we can all get our bfp's soon

patienceisvirtuous Tue 18-Nov-14 08:25:58

Hi Mikeysmum

I've been exactly the same re the health issues all year. It's so frustrating because it eats away at precious time. Anyway I'm glad you're sorted now, like me.

I'm opp to you in that my periods seem to be longer now. It's stressful when you're monitoring them so closely!

Yes, fingers X for BFP's for us all smile

JessieMcJessie Tue 18-Nov-14 09:30:13

patience I know exactly what you mean. I too have a younger DH (though only 4 years, not 8, respect to you!) and we didn't meet until I was 37. Never for a minute did I take any conscious decision to delay babies or relationships for career or anything like that, just had a really hard time meeting the right man.

Though it was a huge relief that everything finally clicked into place on the relationship front, after I had almost resigned myself to it never happening, I really didn't want to push him into thinking about babies too soon. Anyway, after a wedding this summer and then a bit of indecision on both our parts about whether children were the right thing for us I now find myself 41 and only just embarking on TTC for the first time ever in my life. And of course now that we've made the decision I can't even remember what it was like to be unsure and am massively impatient to be a Mum and regretting leaving it so late.

Fortunately my cycles seem to be pretty good, had no problem getting into a regular 28 day cycle after stopping the pill and ovulation seems to be happening at the right time. I did have a blood test about 2 years ago and the doc said my hormne leveks were more akin to early than late thirties so I'm hoping that my body isn't aware it's 41 and thinks it's about 34!

We've only done one proper cycle and I am stupidly gutted that nothing happened, AF turned up like clockwork yesterday. I know this is entirley normal even if you're half my age but every failed month is just a louder ticking of the clock. I'd kind of like DH to get checked out sooner rather than later as I would be very annoyed if it turns out he has issues and we have been wasting my good eggs, but I think I'll have to be diplomatic about that one.

Anyway that's a very long post, really just wanted to wave hello to everyone and wish you all good luck!

Mikeysmum2906 Tue 18-Nov-14 09:53:00

Glad your better patience. Is it silly to foot docs about the lighter periods. They come regular but it's like 1 really heavy day then hardly anything for next 4 days. I'm worried about wasting time too. I have an older dp he's 47 but has kids. I'm trying hard not to focus too much on ttc but it's hard when people at work etc keep on about it and I know my dp would love more kids. We are getting married in the spring so I'm trying to focus more on this than babies but it's always nagging away at back of my mind. I'm trying the cbfm touch screen for second month. Felt but bit better as it indicated peaks so hopefully I'm ovulating and the short af is nothing.

prestolondon Tue 18-Nov-14 10:02:42

Hi I just turned 38 and I am on my journey to conceive, I wish everyone lots of luck and baby dust. :-)

HairStylistToBoris Tue 18-Nov-14 16:05:10

Oh my goodness so many things you ladies are saying resonate with me. The pressure of getting older, every month means more pressure..... The joy of step children in the equation, not only will mine not sleep when we are trying to DTD but its a constant reminder of what we are trying to do and what DH has already lived through... also I have really short periods after coming off the pill. I thought it was just my weirdo body but 24 hours of heavy bleeding then nothing much, Mikeysmum if you work that one out give me a shout! ... and finally the many new mums around me and the many more insensitive comments by people who keep going on about it...!

Thank you ladies this thread has helped me to know I am not alone or a freak for trying this late in life or for finding it tough. x

Nomio230 Tue 18-Nov-14 18:31:55

Hi everyone,

I am 36, 37 on Sunday (eek!) & have been ttc for about 3 years now. Neither of us have any children yet. I was ready to start trying years ago, but dh wasn't, then I had crazy menstrual problems, which delayed us for a couple of years. Now we are both ready & it isn't happening. Sod's law! I did have a bfp in the summer, but lost it after a couple of weeks.

I have just finished my first cycle of Clomid, so am really hoping I actually ovulate this month. Am checking with opk's every day. Nothing yet, but according to my fertility app, my most fertile day should be our wedding anniversary, so I am really hoping it brings us luck!

I can really sympathise with all the comments above about how frustrating it is & being scared you have left it too late. I feel exactly the same. It is especially hard when friends & relatives fall 'accidentally' pregnant & you can't seem to do it, even though desperately trying.

I really hope you all get your happy endings soon. smile

Mikeysmum2906 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:25:26

Hair your life sounds like mine lol. Deffo feel better after chatting and hearing all your stories. I can't really talk about all this in real world so thanks. Not went to dogs about periods think I'll wait and see if they settle back I was only on the pill about 12 months max so would have thot all effects would have gone since stopping in January. However I have had lot of different meds pumped thru me over last 6 months so could be that. Anyway ladies thanks for sharing and let's hope we all get our bfp soon xx

patienceisvirtuous Tue 18-Nov-14 20:59:19

Welcome to the thread Jessie, presto, Hair and Nomio smile

Jessie, it sounds like your body is definitely set up for conceiving which is a good news! I know what you mean re being stupidly gutted about AF. I just think, I'm ovulating, we dtd plenty, why the eff has AF arrived instead of a BFP!

My periods are a bit all over the place - I don't know whether it's due to m/c or natural changes - cycle is anywhere between 28 and 35 days and preceded and followed by brown stringy discharge - all in all lasting up to 2 bloody weeks :/ This only started this year - cycle was dot on with no problems before that. BUT I saw a private gynae consultant who gave me a full workover and said all is good and I should get on with ttc!

So I'm back on the preconception vits and opks. I've ordered some cb dual hormone opks for this month. Anyone using them?

Oh, meant to say - on the month I did get BFP, DP and I dtd loads during peak fertility - was tiring and not spontaneous at all but it worked!! So think that will be our plan of attack grin DP happy with that, haha!

We just got engaged last month but don't want to plan a wedding just yet because of ttc. We also booked a family holiday for next year but only paid hotel deposits, not flights just in case! All consuming and not convenient this ttc business!! smile

Mikeysmum I don't think there's any harm in going to the docs re period irregularities - won't do any harm and might put your mind at rest.

Nomio, fingers x re your wedding anniversary - that would be lovely smile

patienceisvirtuous Wed 19-Nov-14 21:01:00

I'm not 100% sure but I think I may have a bfp. The line is v faint.


Mikeysmum2906 Wed 19-Nov-14 21:16:09

Oooh fingers x'd patience x

HairStylistToBoris Wed 19-Nov-14 21:25:55

Oh patience! How exciting smile fx for you!

patienceisvirtuous Thu 20-Nov-14 08:26:48

Line is more prominent this morning. Eek. I was NOT expecting it to happen this quickly.

Now hoping it works out smile

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