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TTC during PhD?

(12 Posts)
HeyheyheyGoodbye Tue 11-Nov-14 13:45:22

Has anyone done this? I don't want to put off until I'm finished, really. I'd like to start trying in the new year. DH v keen, and eager to take shared parental leave. My university has a nursery etc. Is it mad? I've had other friends who've become parents during PhD but they've all been male - not quite the same thing!

dizzylemon Tue 11-Nov-14 14:17:18

How near finishing are you? Is it a case of trying now to time having the baby when you're finished?

I know someone who has done so, but think she may have switched to doing it part time. Plus her husband only worked part time and did the lions share of the parenting.

There's also the horrible, horrible tiredness to consider which can really effect brain function.

But if you have a good support network, in a good financial situation to do so and are not easily stressed, then why not?

Galvanized Tue 11-Nov-14 14:38:28

How will you afford it? I don't think students are entitled to SMP or MA benefits but please correct me if I'm wrong.

Money aside, as long as you take a few months off with baby (for the dust of new parenthood to settle!) then there is no reason why you can't have a baby and then go on to do the rest of your studies. You might TTC and find it takes ages anyway so why not.

HeyheyheyGoodbye Tue 11-Nov-14 14:50:44

Galvanized, I also work. I think I can have MP from work and a temporary cessation of studies but I will have to look into it and make sure. My DH earns a good salary too. I agree that it might take a long time so can't hurt to start....

I've got a couple more years, Dizzy. I know trying to 'time' babies is a bit of a joke, but I'm just aware of my age!

KatoPotato Tue 11-Nov-14 14:52:32

Do you plan on 'actively ttc' as in OPKS, temping, charting etc or just going with the flow? either way can take waaaay longer (or shorter) than you anticipated! What contraception are you currently using?

Galvanized Tue 11-Nov-14 14:53:58

Okay, if you work that's different - you'll be entitled to MA at least but hopefully SMP which is higher. Just go for it then, you'll regret it otherwise!

HeyheyheyGoodbye Tue 11-Nov-14 14:55:50

Kato we just use condoms. We thought we'd stop using them and see what happens. If no luck after a year or so we'd get in to all the charting etc. Is that silly?

KatoPotato Tue 11-Nov-14 15:02:50

Nope, not at all silly! I'm now pg, and was and still am on a marvelous ttc group on mn. We've spoke at length about not putting life on hold while we try and get there, because you just never ever know how and when it's going to happen!

Good luck with everyting!

MamaMed Tue 11-Nov-14 15:11:33

What year are you in? And what's the rush?

Honestly though, don't do it. Just finish your PhD ASAP and then have a baby. It is extremely difficult once you've had a baby, and it's a big risk to take.

NickyEds Tue 11-Nov-14 16:18:57

I agree with MamaMed, if your Phd is important to you, finish first. When you say you have a couple more years, is that until you finish research or finish writing up? How may years in are you now? Writing up is a nightmare and usually takes longer than people think even without the stress of a new/ish baby. You don't actually say how old you are- is it that imperative that you start now? Plan as if the month you stop using the condoms you'll be pregnant. Of the two people I know who got pregnant during a Phd, neither have completed it (that's 4 and 6 years later).

HeyheyheyGoodbye Wed 12-Nov-14 20:32:35

Thank you Nicky and Mama, lots to think about! I have 2 years left including PhD, my PhD is creative so slightly different. But it is important. Perhaps I should wait. I will have a big think. Thank you all!

foxinorangesocks Thu 13-Nov-14 12:00:32

Hi. I have been ttc for four years and have just started a PhD so probably have a different take on things. You may be super fertile and conceive quickly or you may take longer. A good way to be informed is to go and have a fertility MOT and see what the results indicate. My one regret, even though I didn't meet my husband til I was 31 and started trying is that I didn't get things checked over in my twenties and had some eggs frozen. For me, whilst a phd is important and stressful and all that malarkey, my desire for a child is far far greater. My bad luck is that my eggs were past their best before I was in a position to try. And whilst loads of people conceive easily way into their late thirties/early forties there is no guarantee. From my own position in the wilderness of infertility I think if the desire to have babies is there and the time feels probably right, then just go for it.

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