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Why aren't we pregnant - sorry need to rant

(7 Posts)
MaGratgarlik1983 Wed 05-Nov-14 22:35:21

So, DH and I started ttc at the end of June - cycle 1 nothing, cycle 2 we fell pregnant but it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy (we lost it just after 4 weeks), and since then (September 5th) I haven't had an AF until today. I was having so many symptoms over the last few days but obviously all for nothing. I know we haven't been trying for that long at all really but I guess I just thought it would just happen - I'm 31, DH is 32, we're both healthy etc. I just feel so sad. Just heard that a friend of a friend is pregnant again and isn't even sure if she wants to stay with the father and I don't mean to be judgy but how come some people can just keep having accidents and we can't have a baby? Sorry. The rational part of me knows that the start of a new cycle is the start of a new chance and I feel fine on the whole but just sad deep down that it hasn't happened again.

Cariad2014 Thu 06-Nov-14 08:49:54

Sorry to hear you're feeling blue. DH and I are in a similar boat. Both early 30s, ttc since May of this year. We aren't in any of the high risk categories yet had a Cp at just under 5 weeks in June (cycle 2) followed by a ruptured ectopic in September (cycle 5), whilst all around us, it's baby boom central, and I have quite a few friends who got their BFP on their first cycle.

It's unbelievably frustrating isn't it. When we first embarked on our ttc journey, I naively assumed we'd be holding our baby in our arms come next Spring... At this rate, we'll be lucky to have a baby before 2015 is out (if at all).

I was lucky in that my first cycle after my cp was only 2 days longer than usual, but that didn't stop me being utterly convinced that I'd get a BFP, and was utterly devastated when it didn't happen so I can definitely identify with the way you're feeling. A 50+ day cycle sounds awful - you poor thing.

Anyway, sorry for the super long post. Just wanted to say that you've been pregnant before and you WILL get pregnant again. Just hang on in there my lovely.

MaGratgarlik1983 Thu 06-Nov-14 09:39:45

Thank you so much for your reply Cariad sounds like you've really been through the mill. I'm so sorry for your CP and the ectopic must have been awful. I think society leads us to believe that it's so easy to have a baby which leads to frustration and disappointment for many people. Thank you so much for your lovely reply. Let's hope we'll both be holding our babies in our arms in the future smile

xBlueberry88x Thu 06-Nov-14 10:56:58

Sorry your feeling down Magrat its not fair that people can get pregnant with out even trying.

We've been ttc for 20 months now and my dp was so scared to stop using condoms because he thought it would happen straight away.

sadly my body although normal 28 day cycles isn't ovulating and we've now started clomid.

Im 26 and dp is 30 im a little over weight but healthy eater I dont smoke and rarely drink. Hes healthy mostly.

life just sucks most of the time and staying calm and relaxing is the only way of getting through it all other wise it'll eat you up and destroy you.

dizzylemon Thu 06-Nov-14 12:26:07

Sounding very familiar (similar timeframes) - I've not even had a hint of pregnancy though and some of the symptoms (nausea especially) I've had were likely from coming off the pill. My biggest concern is only having the one ovary, though I am told this would make little difference to my chances and just give me an early menopause.

Solidarity and Empathy though - it's very annoying that we're told over and over in your teens that all you practically have to do is be within a metre of a boy and you'd get upduffed grin

But I can't be too cross with my friends though. It's just the time of life I suppose, and especially so since one couple have taken 3 years smile

I'd like to think I'm in the frame of mind where if it happens, it happens. The amount of googling and twitching at symptoms would indicate otherwise.

Best of luck!

mrschatty Thu 06-Nov-14 14:01:40

Op I understand your need to rant- been ttc since December and the month I thought we had it I was so upset when af came and 2 friends announced their pregnancy that same day- it's heart breaking. Dizzly- ha your post could have been written by me! Go ogling and symptom stalking! !

MaGratgarlik1983 Thu 06-Nov-14 15:51:39

Thank you ladies - you're all such wonderful people and thank you for being so lovely and supportive!

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