Advanced search

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

(1000 Posts)
ChatEnOeuf Wed 15-Oct-14 18:02:51

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!

ChatEnOeuf Wed 15-Oct-14 18:07:26

Chat stats:
Age 33
TTC since Jan 14...MC March 14 and Aug 14 (twins)
One DD, age 3; one tabby, two fish and a snail

Apparently upduffed with something the size of a full stop, though struggling to really believe it!

teejayem Wed 15-Oct-14 18:25:39

TTC since Feb 13
Currently incubating something akin to an olive (6+5) - but still lurking here..
No DCs, few felines and a box O'sex toys.

TinkerBlue Wed 15-Oct-14 18:26:59

Tis I...

Name Tink
Age 33
TTC 5+ yrs but only dedicated to the jsing cause for a couple of cycles!
dc's none yet (autocorrect to nine!!) But one snappy Springer and two mental kittens.

Nice work chat smile trots off to fill up the old Fred with rubbish

KateBeckett Wed 15-Oct-14 18:28:52

Thanks for the new Fred chat !

My stats:
Age 28
Ttc since last week! (When dp not partaking in soothing wanks after setting things on fire...)
No dc, 1 guineA pig.

honeysucklejasmine Wed 15-Oct-14 18:33:45

Love it Chat!

Name: Honey
Age: 28
TTC: August 14, mc Sept 14
DC: none!

lildottie Wed 15-Oct-14 19:23:51

Place marking! Thanks chat

Name lildottie
Age 29
Ttc since Nov 2012, not a sniff of a bfp, awaiting to start stsbimg myself with needles on 28th December
Dcs none

jellypi3 Wed 15-Oct-14 19:24:58

Nice one chat can't beleive we are ready for a new Fred so soon!

Name: Jellypi3
Age: 24
TTC: since August 2014
DC's: nada of the two legged variety. 2 cats, 3 guinea pigs and a tank full of fishies!

wilmabedrock Wed 15-Oct-14 19:28:17

Just saw the cracking new title and sneaking on to wish everyone luck for this thread. Get shagging shaggers!

Noniks3 Wed 15-Oct-14 19:32:48

Name: Noniks (aka weeing ninja)
Age: 31
TTC: July 2014
DCs: only 2 scrummy spaniels

jellypi3 Wed 15-Oct-14 19:36:20

Thanks wil smile

My ecstasy at the return of AF was short lived. I remembered how much I hate the bitch! First one in 5 years, it's not pretty ladies!!

cookielove Wed 15-Oct-14 19:36:25

Lurks in

Throws baby dust at every one

Lurks out

honeysucklejasmine Wed 15-Oct-14 19:39:07

Ha ha Jelly amen to that!

BeforeIChangeMyMind Wed 15-Oct-14 19:48:45

Woah! Our sad fleas (now dealt with) made the title... just made my day smile smile smile

35 (just)
Currently ~7 weeks upduffed and very, very sick - sticking around if you'll have me.

It took me about 2 seconds to find the new thread - well done whoever came up with the title. Excellent choice!

ZylaB Wed 15-Oct-14 19:49:24

Good luck ladies!

BeforeIChangeMyMind Wed 15-Oct-14 19:49:50

Oh great news... I think...*jelly*. Really happy she's here and sorry she's so...ugh!

WigglyBraddins Wed 15-Oct-14 19:52:09

Great Fred chat. Thank you.

Name: Wiggly or Widdly
Age: 35
TTC: April 14, mc Aug 14 and Sept 14
DC: DS is 2.5 also a crazy killer cat called Ninja

Thank you cookie smile

Have realised I'll be icing in half term and we're going on a minibreak...this bodes well (I hope). Mega GX for us all.

Khbutterfly11 Wed 15-Oct-14 20:27:24

Name: KH
age: 34
TTC: since sept 14
DC's: 2 teenage DSC - does DH count? feels like I have 3 most days...

Excellant Job on the Fred title chat I missed out on the um bongo though, I'm going back to hunt it down!

glidingpig Wed 15-Oct-14 20:36:11

New Fred already!

Name: glidingpig
Age: 30
TTC: June 2014, cp Aug 2014
DCs: 4yo DD but she reckons she's a cat

This week is shag week in the pig household. Only managed once so far, rubbish effort. DD keeps bringing different plagues home from school and none of us are feeling too sprightly. Luckily don't seem to have iced yet - none of the usual symptoms, anyway.

freshstart4us Wed 15-Oct-14 20:39:12

Here you are lovely viroids!

Place marking.

Name: Fresh
Age: 40
TTC since April 14, currently baking a peppercorn-sized bun at 5+0
DD turning 3 next month, a teenage DSS and one fluffy feline friend

Love the thread title Chat, happy shagging shaggers!!

Pixa Wed 15-Oct-14 20:42:02

Name: Pixa
Age: I am 24. DH is 33 and has a 'no new borns after the age of 40' rule.
TTC: Since September 2014
DCs: No little ones yet!

Fx for lots of BFPs and lots of JSing!

KateBeckett Wed 15-Oct-14 20:50:58

Working away is properly shit. Am lonely, bored and slightly pissed off. The hilarity of dp's antics yesterday has worn off, and now just feeling a tad disappointed that this month is a write off...

I am being totally pathetic, but I know I'm not home tomorrow either and I miss being home!!

Need to find a job closer to home, but I really don't want to start somewhere new and (hopefully, potentially) go straight off on maternity!

Leela5 Wed 15-Oct-14 20:55:14

Name: Leela La
Age: 34
TTC: since fecking July 2013, mc Sept 2014
DCs: none. Furry ones only

Leela5 Wed 15-Oct-14 21:11:49

Love the title!

lildottie Wed 15-Oct-14 21:36:17

ahh let's get settled in here now shall we. could number 30 omg I can't believe I'm still herr be my lucky thread with a los bfp before I start bcp again......or will we talk too much and fill it up before I reach icing in 3 weeks time.... quite likely the latter!

This thread is not accepting new messages.