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40+ and TTC? Join the club...

(997 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

cloudjumper Wed 24-Sep-14 13:32:15

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

ChewyGiraffe Wed 11-Mar-15 23:31:57

Grizzer - sorry about AF - and feeling you're losing your mojo. CD1 is always the worst I find, hopefully you'll feel better in a couple of days. Interesting you say the only time you've got pg in last 2 years, you DTD in the morning. Now that I think about it, same here. I was thinking how I always seem to start AF the same time of day - regardless of whether cycle length varies by a day or two - so maybe ovulation is also at a similar time each time (whatever that time is)? And if eggs are only viable 10 or 12 hours or whatever .... Hmmm. As if TTC sex wasn't bad enough without having to do it at some unearthly hour before bonkers toddler (in my case, sure your DD is lovely) wakes up.

Jass - I would've thought that at 8 weeks HPTs can no longer able to tell you more than you already know - i.e. you're pregnant? I'd never heard of the hook effect, so had a quick Google. Is the effect quite rare? Don't know whether either of these links (about the hook effect) are helpful? pregnancylab.net false negatives - and/or - ispub.com
Anyway, remember what you said the other day "I have never failed to carry to term if there is no bleeding present"? It sounded like it could be a focus for the meditation you mentioned before, perhaps?

Fromwest - 6 + 1 - hope you're feeling OK too.

Reni - sounds like another reason for me not to temp/FF. (Not at all because I'm too much of a lazy a***). All that DTD you did and you just get marked 'good'? FFS!

ChewyGiraffe Wed 11-Mar-15 23:55:51

I thought I'd post an updated list of everyone who has at least popped in to say they're TTC since the start of this thread.
Not including our latest, lovely BFPs (Jass and Fromwest) or any of the graduates who posted an update, there's FIFTY on the list!
Obviously I've no idea how many of these ladies are still reading, hopefully if not, its because they're well and truly upduffed! With apologies for the mistakes (there's bound to be loads of DC ages wrong, at very least) or anyone I've missed - I did my best! Anyone please do post corrections if you like.

10000Fireflies: 45, TTC #2, DS age 2
Allthefours: 40, TTC #4, DS 19, DS 18 and DD 14 from first marriage, and DSD 16
AWombWithoutAFoof: 44, TTC #2, DD 4
Bernad105: 41, TTC #1
Berriesinautumn: TTC #2, 1 DS
Calibee: 44, TTC #4, 3 DC's aged 24, 20 and 17
ChewyGiraffe: 45, TTC #2, DD 20 months
Cloudjumper: 43, TTC #2, 1 DS age 3.5
Cobbler1: 43, TTC #1
Crispiecrunchie: 41, TTC #2, had DC #1 at 40
CurlyJay 44, TTC #1
Daftgeranium: 43, TTC #1
DrDiva: 45, TTC #2, had DS at 42
Druscilla: 41, TTC #1
FattyFishwife: 43, TTC #6, DS -21, DD -17, DS -15, DS -11 and DS 4
Foggywytch: 40, TTC #3, 2 DD
Fridgedooropen: 41, TTC #2, DS nearly 6
Grizzer: 42, TTC #2, DD age 4
Gumblossom: 48, TTC #6, DS age 23, DS 21, DD 17, DD 14 and DS 6 (had youngest DS at 41 and 9 months)
Hopeful2015: 41, TTC #4, DS 23, DD 18, DD 12
ICallHimGerald: 42, TTC #2, DS 6
JessieMcJessie: 41, TTC #1
Joey38: 44, TTC #2, DS age 2.5 (had DS at 41)
Kimkat: 40, (41 in March), TTC #2, DC age 2.5 (OE IVF)
LastMinuteMother: 42 (almost 43), TTC #1
Londongrrl: 42, TTC #2, DS 4.5
Mummy23Monkeys: 41, TTC #4, 3 DCs - DD -8, DS1 -5, DS2 -2
Mustbemad71: TTC #3 (first with DP), 2 teenage DCs
Nix1972Nix72: 42
Notsoold: 43, TTC #4, 3 DC's - DD age 20, DS1 15, DS2 14 months
Paperblank: 40, TTC #1
Pessimoptimistic: 40 (almost 41), TTC # 2, DD 3
Puppydogstails1: 40, TTC #4, youngest DC age 6
Reni: 40, TTC #2, DD aged 6
Rosiejo1: 43, TTC #1
Rhootintootinboo: 39 (nearly 40), TTC #1
SeasonsEatings: 40, TTC #2, DD aged 26 months
Sebsmummy1: 40, TTC #2, DS aged 2
Seewothappens: 39 (nearly 40), DS1 -10, DS2 -7
Shirleybossey:
Sicksquid:
SlinkyMalinki: 41, TTC #2, DS nearly 3
Spellbound2014: 40, TTC #3, 2 DCs aged almost 3 and 18 months
Stupidhead: 46, TTC #4 (first with DP), 3 DC aged 16, 14 and 13
TheCSLibraryPree: 42 (43 in a couple of months), TTC #1
TheHappinessTrap: 42, TTC #1
Trumadison: 45, TTC #5 (first with DP), 4 DC's
Twunk: 39, 40 in 2 months. TTC #3, DS1 (6) and DS2 (5)
Wiltingfast: 40, TTC #3, DC aged 5 and 3
WipsGlitter: 44, TTC #3

reni1 Thu 12-Mar-15 00:29:39

Wow, what a list! Chewy, you are brilliant, 976 messages to sift through to extract the data...

Sorry about AF and the TTC fatigue, Grizzer.

ChewyGiraffe Thu 12-Mar-15 00:53:16

Well not so many, bit of a cut and paste job from the last list. #sadspreadsheetnerd

10000Fireflies Thu 12-Mar-15 11:22:58

Morning ladies!

Big unMumsnetty hugs for you Grizzer. Hope you're feeling a bit more positive now? How are the herbs? Do tell more!

Chewy I admire your dedication to the list!!

Jass step away from the HTPs and stop over analysing!!

Well, I am feeling slightly less than bright-eyed and busy tailed after the Mumsnet party last night. Was great fun, though I was fairly nervous, so didn't have the balls to got and chat to slebs like lots of the other MNers who threw themselves into the celebrations with positive gusto. Also, I had to keep my trousers up with a makeshift waistband expander, so I wasn't going to throw myself around on the dance floor for fear of them ending up round my ankles in front of Gareth Malone or Harriet Harman. grin

You will be pleased to hear that I did manage to drink copious amounts of champagne. I'm sure I managed a glass on behalf of all you regulars. Am in total denial about that screwing up another cycle....

I don't know if it was the SI or nerves that was making me feel so duff yesterday though. I woke with a cracking headache and was a bit shaky all day. Seem ok today, just very tired!

Off to open big box of supps from H&B. Will be joining FertFriends next if this cycle no good.

Love to all. FF xx

reni1 Thu 12-Mar-15 13:45:31

Fireflies great to hear from the party. How did this work, did you have to own up, ie introduce yourself as fireflies or did everybody go as Ms Smith and Dr Steven without revealing their mumsnet persona?

Chewy I wonder myself about ff, especially seeing it all written down, but it works strangely well for me. Convinced we'd have stopped too early this month (late ov) without last month's suboptimal mark. I quite like measuring and recording something every day, it stops me from ridiculously early hpts.

jassS Thu 12-Mar-15 20:25:23

Fireflies, well done for drinking all you could at the party!
Good luck with all the supplements for everybody. I hate the beginning of the cycle - it is so hopeless feeling to pick ypu rold body up and prepare for yet another month of measuring ov and dtd when needed. Hope it will result on bfps for those who do just not give up! And none of us does!

I have never been on ff, it is too much of s discipline for me. I mostly know by heart my cycle days and do only opks, so probably the ff would not have told me anything without temping?


Yep, I know I should have not bought these tests at all. And I did not worry about the lack of the hook effect too much, esp as I have been sick today almost all day. Meanwhile having a meeting which lasted from 9.30 to 18.00 wirh one hour lunch break.
Then home, food, some ironing and packing. Am off to holidays alone with colleagues - my annual five days of total me-time! In Swiss Alps, in a hotel which at the upper end of the lifts, i.e. nothing but moon and stars during night, only hotel own dining room to organise your own afterski and no shops whatsoever.

Was doubtful about going, thinking I might miscarry while there, but at the absensce of any mc symptoms decided to go. Packed though 3 pairs of black trousers, several long dark fleeces and a huge pack of fat post-partum pads in case I start to mc or miscarry up in the mountains. On the principle of that being prepared means nothing happens. If something happens I do not want in addition to the unhappiness be technically unprepared. Back Wednesday. On the ski front I guess blue pistes, here I come! A baby which managed to implant while I was skiing will not be troubled by some gentle gliding downhill in 9th week. Checked with a gyne friend, She said to go for it. She also said She is totally sure this pg is viable, too. OK, I believe her on the ski issue, at least:-)))

notsoold Thu 12-Mar-15 21:09:59

Jass have fun!!!!
Chewy....thanks for the list!!! And for adding me to itsmile

Gumblossom Thu 12-Mar-15 21:50:14

Jass, your holiday sounds wonderful. It's so exciting that you are already 8 weeks pregnant. I am very pleased for you.

I have been taking my red clover isoflavones. Tonight is my last dose. I hope it has the same effect that the soy had for you, Jass. However, I am up against it this month: DH will be away on camp (with his geography students) day 12 through to day 14 - the most likely time that I will ovulate sad I guess I will seduce him the night before he leaves, and when he gets back and hope for the best. At least O doesn't fall later, when he is going interstate with eldest DD for two weeks. I will endeavour to do OPK's this time too, to have an idea of what is going on.

Well done with the list Chewy - I wonder how many on the list are actually pregnant now, and who might have stopped ttc?

Fireflies, sounds like you had a lot of fun at the mumsnet party. wish I could have come. I am feeling very sleepy this morning as I had a late night (12pm) and early morning (5am). 5 hours sleep doesn't come close to the 8-9 hours that I need. [Yawn]

Have a nice day, ladies.

joey38 Fri 13-Mar-15 08:12:34

Hi everyone. I've not posted for a while but I've been keeping tabs on this thread!
Pleased to hear that we've had another bfp - well done fromeasttowest and also that jass you are still hanging on in there. At 9 weeks it's not long until you reach that magic 12 week marker (although I know the worry will never go away).

I've been keeping a fairly low profile this month and kind of given myself the month off. I've done no temping or opks. We did dtd around the 'right' time, but I wasn't marking days or anything. I know that I am getting to the closing stages of my cycle (probably around cd26) so fully preparing for af to show up in the next few days. Haven't decided how to approach next month yet!

I wanted to get your thoughts on alcohol!! I lead a pretty healthy life - I eat healthily, my bmi is spot on, I exercise regularly, don't smoke, don't drink during the week. However I do enjoy a glass of wine (or 3) at the weekend. For me it distinguishes the weekend from the week and just helps me switch off and relax. I have wondered whether this might be a factor in not conceiving. What do people think? I don't like the thought of having to give it up - it's my only vice!! Having said that I conceived ds on a holiday where I drank everyday - usually starting at lunchtime!!!

jassS Fri 13-Mar-15 09:44:01

Joey, wine is - or now for two months then was - my main vice as well. I do not think it can be so terrible considering the French have highest borth rates in Europe:-) Especially if it is only weekend thing for you. Ttc is hard enough without giving up all the enjoyable things in life.

I am only 8weeks 1 day. Far from 12. And have not verified heartbeat neither, so I feel the journey is longer than just waiting for after easter:-)))
Did a eushed houseclean this morning and now off towards the Alps:-)

reni1 Fri 13-Mar-15 10:29:43

Wine (especially red wine) is absolutely packed with isoflavones, not only is it fine during ttc, I'd argue it is medicinal.

10000Fireflies Fri 13-Mar-15 11:16:23

Reni well, I suppose I could have introduced myself as Mrs Smith, but as there was no one else there I recognised it didn’t matter about revealing who I was. I think at least a few of the MNs there are RL friends though. My greatest fear was finding myself standing beside a next door neighbour or similar! That would have been a total nightmare!

JassS have a great holiday! Sounds fantastic. When will you feel it’s ok to believe your gynae friend?

Joey I came up with this boring missive on drinking 'the drinking thing’s a real b****r, isn’t it? Especially when there are so many stories of drunken conceptions out there along with your DS. grin I guess you do what feels right to you. I got to the point where I felt anything I can do to improve my chances was worth it, even if that meant going teetotal, but as you may have noticed, I do slip from time to time. blush', but then Reni came on with some much more fun advice, so I would listen to what she says!!

Am still bloody knackered after Weds. DS woke at 3am, and he went to bed late, so I was relying on him sleeping in so I could pack. No such luck!!
Going to be away for the weekend. Have packed my supps. Must remember the OPKs!

Wishing all mummies a Happy (British) Mother’s Day on Sunday, and those who’ve yet to have their first, have a good day too, and hope next year you will be celebrating with a snuggly bundle. thanks thanks

jassS Fri 13-Mar-15 21:05:17

I will believe my gynae friend when sometime in late October. I took the brave step and figured out the due date. Reckless before a successful scan, but I somehow wanted to know:-)))

jassS Sat 14-Mar-15 06:56:57

Correction -never check due dates. It is bad omen. Am spotting this morning. Hope I can at least finish my ski holiday before it gets serious mc now. Very littles spotting, but we all know this is doom.

fromwesttoeast Sat 14-Mar-15 07:26:28

sad so, so, so sorry ....
Maybe you can break your own trend and for once be in that group of women for whom spotting is not a problem...
sad

cloudjumper Sat 14-Mar-15 21:34:05

Jass - crossing everything for you!!

Sorry for not posting - I'm still on holiday in a French ski resort. Going home tomorrow, we had a great time. 2ww now...

Could someone do the honours and start a new thread? I'm on my phone, and the Internet connection here is abysmal...wink

Gumblossom Sat 14-Mar-15 23:53:02

New thread

Sorry to hear you are spotting Jass. It's been such a long, tough road for you, I really hoped this was it for you.

ChewyGiraffe Sun 15-Mar-15 09:29:39

Thanks Gum! Going over to the new thread...

phenomum73 Sun 15-Mar-15 09:54:40

Hi everyone and thank you for giving me hope and a positive boost. 40+yr olds rock IMO and we are not old...although at times i am feeling it.
I am 42- no offspring yet :-(. DH and me have had unprotected sex for 6 years- did not partic want to go down IVF route. No joy and i was told it was most unlikely I would ever conceive and had started to come to terms with that and began looking into adoption..... Then bolt from the blue conceived 26/12/14. Unfortunately miscarried at 8 weeks. Currently still awaiting first AF after D&C on 14/02/15.
Chewy can you please give me some healthy egg tips? Because my body finally decided I could conceive i want to give things another shot and will try anything (and I seriously mean anything) tht may help my chances of pregnancy.
As an aside-i found a large moveable painless breast lump last night- can anyone advise is this potentially due to the hormonal changes of pregnancy and miscarriage/? obvs a tad concerned-don't want anything to delay my changes of TTc again.
Love and hope to you all
xx

neetie1 Sun 14-Jun-15 21:24:10

Hi guys just joined the forum. Am 43 trying to conceive #1 been together 10 years but married just over a year. Hubby has always said no to children, nearly started trying two years ago but had a chemical pregnancy then recently started talking about it again. He finally said yes... smile
We didn't properly start trying this month but were not careful..unfortunately after a couple of days of unusual bad cramping started AF so this month isn't the one.
If anyone has any tips of things to do/eat/try when trying to conceive would love to hear
Neet x

Putneymummy1 Tue 16-Jun-15 14:54:05

Wanted to revive this one! My DS is nearly 9 months and I'm back to work next month. I'm also going to be 40 in a couple of months. Desperate to be preggers with number 2! DH a little less desperate though up for it. We got pregnant first time trying last time but I just feel in my bones it will be harder this time as was only just 38 then. He's convinced it will be quick so wants to wait. I should also get a bit of time back at work under my belt or they may be a tad peeved. Sigh. Anyone got any good news updates? X

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