donating eggs

[bredicot]

Hi,
has anyone any experience of donating their eggs to help another couple? if so, where and what was it like? Having finished my own family am thinking of doing it!

[bluestar]

I saw an article on this in REAL magazine (or could have been She - I read both recently) this month. Might be worth a look as it showed pros/cons and contact details.

[Twinkie]

I read this too Bluesatr and it left me with all kinds of questions as to whether I would feel that I had a child out there that was mine???

[808state]

As long as you are under 35 it is possible as this is the cut off age for egg donation.

www.hfea.gov.uk will have more information.

[bayleaf]

Have a look at www.CARE-ivf.co.uk on the messgae board for egg donations - it might help. (Mind you the server seems to be playing up this weekend...)

[bayleaf]

ok, I lied - it's care-ivf.com

[Freckle]

Aren't they changing the law so that egg and sperm donation will no longer be anonymous? Children resulting from donated eggs or sperm will be able to trace the donors later on. I think this is entirely right from the child's point of view, but do wonder how the donor will feel when a grown child turns up on their doorstep x years down the line.

[WSM]

Having looked into it (and decided not to go ahead) I would say that you have to be prepared to go through allsorts of painful invasive treatments, live your life to a very specific time frame (as dictated by the specialist) and also be prepared for your family life to suffer a little as a result of the total lifestyle change you are likely to have to undergo. Also your partner must be behind you 110%, otherwise the stress involved is likely to be detrimental to your relationship. It is a truly self-less act and I take my hat off to anyone who goes through with it having found out all the ins and outs of it.

[bayleaf]

WSM - as one who has doe ivf ( several times - tho because of sperm problems not eggs so has no personal interest or axe to grind on egg donation) I'm interested in your comments WSM and I'd never describe the process as you do.
The 'all sorts of painful and invasive procedures' makes it soud far worse than any of my 4 experiences of stims and egg collection.

YOu need to have sniff a drug for about 3 weeks ( I had no side effects, some people have the odd hot flush)- then inject once a day for about 10 days ( not nice the first time but it actually is possible to do it almost painlessly with a bit of experience/tips from the experts! YOU might feel a bit tired during the last few days if your body produces a lot of eggs))- and during this time have maybe 3 or 4 vaginal scans - no pain and not a big deal if you've already gone thru childbrith and all the embarassment involved!
Then one half day visit to hospital when you get temazepan and pethadine - OR a general anesthetic if you prefer - I had the former and slept throughout 2 of mine and the other was no worse than a smear test.
The next day, depending on how many eggs they got, you might be completely OK or have a bit of period like cramping. End of story - well, at least as far as the pain/inconvenience is concerned. I can see that the not wanting to give up your anonymity might be an issue - tho I've already decide that if I have any embyos left when I've finished my treatment I'll allow them to be used if anyone wants them.
AM not trying to persuade anyone here - just give another perspective.

[bayleaf]

WSM - as one who has doe ivf ( several times - tho because of sperm problems not eggs so has no personal interest or axe to grind on egg donation) I'm interested in your comments WSM and I'd never describe the process as you do.
The 'all sorts of painful and invasive procedures' makes it soud far worse than any of my 4 experiences of stims and egg collection.

YOu need to have sniff a drug for about 3 weeks ( I had no side effects, some people have the odd hot flush)- then inject once a day for about 10 days ( not nice the first time but it actually is possible to do it almost painlessly with a bit of experience/tips from the experts! YOU might feel a bit tired during the last few days if your body produces a lot of eggs))- and during this time have maybe 3 or 4 vaginal scans - no pain and not a big deal if you've already gone thru childbrith and all the embarassment involved!
Then one half day visit to hospital when you get temazepan and pethadine - OR a general anesthetic if you prefer - I had the former and slept throughout 2 of mine and the other was no worse than a smear test.
The next day, depending on how many eggs they got, you might be completely OK or have a bit of period like cramping. End of story - well, at least as far as the pain/inconvenience is concerned. I can see that the not wanting to give up your anonymity might be an issue - tho I've already decide that if I have any embyos left when I've finished my treatment I'll allow them to be used if anyone wants them.
AM not trying to persuade anyone here - just give another perspective.
ps - What sort of life style changes are we talking about??? I don't drink as much as before and I've never smoked but I haven't changed anythign else??/?

[janinlondon]

Appreciate all WSM and Bayleaf are saying, but had a very different experience in my IVF procedures (which were done at a leading London teaching hospital IVF clinic, so not a botched job). Egg collection under pethadine took over four hours, which I know is unusual, but was incredibly painful throughout. So much so that I kicked the collecting doctor off his stool, bent the retrieval needle (while inserted) almost 45 degrees, lost loads of blood and had to have emergency repair performed by two Obst Gyn specialists during the procedure, while a third consultant patched up the doctor I had assaulted. (It sounds kind of funny now...!) Five weeks later a benign tumour had developed at the collection site, and I had to have a general to have it removed and six stitches put in. That was after I developed OHSS, which is a life threatening condition, and had to be hospitalised with lines going in and out of me to drain fluid for a week. DH actually thought I was going to die. The whole procedure was one I would have to think very seriously about before repeating. In fact, we decided that while it might have been worth risking my life to have a child, it is not now worth risking my child's mother's life to have a sibling for her. If that makes sense. I really would urge anyone thinking about this to consider it very carefully.

[bran]

I would go along with janinlondon on this one. My experience of IVF was reasonably painless up to egg collection, like bayleaf's, although the hormones made me a little crazy, but I know women for whom it has been a deeply unpleasant experience. On my second cycle I had HSS too, and spent 6 days in hospital which was scary enough to stop me from having any more treatment, but even before that happened I wouldn't have encouraged anyone to go through egg donation unless it was a special case (if they were having IVF anyway or doing it to get a friend to the top of the queue for donated eggs).

I think WSM is wise to decide against it, it's one thing to have discomfort and some risk to help someone who is likely to die eg. bone marrow donation, it's quite another to do the same for someone who doesn't even exist yet. Obviously my heart goes out to women who want to get pregnant, but I wouldn't want someone taking that sort of risk for me.