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The Elderberry Pavlovas: Hanging up our fertility crystals, relaying the Yellow Brick Road and chasing that chopper. We want our BFPs and we want them now! (Thread 22)

(1000 Posts)
happylass Wed 13-Aug-14 09:25:46

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

happylass Wed 13-Aug-14 09:32:50

Kuma - 39 TTC since Jan 13 (23 of my short cycles). Failed short protocol IVF June 2014, now waiting for a hysteroscopy before NHS natural cycle if they can fit me in before my next big bday.
Lumen, soon to be 35, ttc for 3 yrs, unexplained, IVF on nhs summer 2014, no implantation, starting private funded IVF at end of sept on long protocol again
Happylass, 36, TTC 2 years, getting hitched and honeymooning mid August, then starting short protocol ICSI at the end of the month.
Beaky, 34, ttc 2 years, unexplained, due to start iui next cycle if the cysts have gone.
nolly, 32, TTC 2 years, just finished with the dreaded clomid, 1 year to go before IVF.
HampshireBlues, 36, TTC 3 years, unexplained, IVF cycle 1 long protocol resulted in chemical / failed implantation, trying to get myself together for cycle 2.
WildflowerMarmalade, 39, TTC 3years, unexplained, underactive thyroid + possible immune issues
tigerdog, 34, ttc 20 months. Unexplained. Follow up appointment with FC in September but expecting to be told to continue with ttc for another year before seeking further assistance.
barkingtreefrog, 36, ttc since Jan 2012. clomid bfp and iui bfp both ended in mc. MC clinic end of Sept, taking a ttc break until we've had results and follow up appointment.
Lady, 35, TTC since Jan 2012, 2 failed IVF cycles, one surprise BFP.
Rain: 33, TTC since Mar 2012. Unexplained. Natural BFP Sep 2013, MMC Nov 13. Awaiting NHS IVF referral at the end of this year.
Gillster, 40, TTC since March 2012, unexplained. Had IVF in Feb but didn't complete cycle due to mythical polyp. Have 6 embies in freezer. Hoping 2 will be put back in a FET in a couple of weeks.
Smidge: 38yrs old, ttc since Jan 2012. 2 months clomid, hicosy clear, hormone stats good, first IVF Aug '14 BFN. Awaiting to hear chances of trying IVF again given apparent poor 'state of embryos'.

IamKuma Wed 13-Aug-14 09:39:43

smidge sorry you're feeling down. You got a good stash of eggs and there are plenty of ways you can improve egg quality. If you've got a Kindle then download 'It Starts with the Egg' by Rebecca Fett. I found it really interesting and it was only published a couple of months ago so it's up to date science.

Thanks for the new thread happy.

nolly3 Wed 13-Aug-14 09:48:06

thanks happy

Just wanted to add in our grads

BFPs - Passed the 6 week scan mark, counting down to 12 weeks...
RP - Basting BFP Cycle 12?
Winohhh- Natural BFP. Cycle 13?
Feather, 35, ttc since Sept 12. one tube, pcos, 6 or 7 x clomid, bfp Nov 13 ended in ectopic. Hsg mar 14 - all clear. Acu & weightloss = natural bfp May 14. Cycle 21
Lady: natural BFP after failed Ivf

Foodylicious Natural BFP.
Sid Natural FUFC BFP (was downregging for IVF).
Yorkie IVF BFP
Bunny ICSI BFP. Cycle 24
Charming Cats Natural BFP

Post Grads
Merkin Natural BFP.
Thunder Natural BFP.
Tally Natural BFP.
Boom Clomid BFP. Twins!
Kitty IUI BFP.

TheRainDrops Wed 13-Aug-14 09:57:16

Thanks for the new thread happy!

Let's hope this new one sees a few more grads, we're getting decent averages at the moment.

So, the director who maternity policy bombed me last week just asked for a follow up chat. I told him I'd rather not and have now run out of the office to avoid crying in front of my team. Sitting in the sun by the Thames. I might not go back. smile

lumen Wed 13-Aug-14 10:30:00

Thanks for making us a lovely new home happy. Glad you are a bit more cheery smidge, your friends advice sounds very sensible.

rain that man is an arse! Enjoy sitting by the Thames.

Bring on our bfps and migration to the chopper!!!

lumen Wed 13-Aug-14 10:30:56

And thanks for the book advice kuma I think I might be purchasing it!

KittenOfWoe Wed 13-Aug-14 10:51:22

Thanks for the new thread smile This is me:
Kitten: 32, ttc since March 2013, tests confirmed start of early menopause, natural bfp (early days, 4 and a bit weeks)

rain what a stupid doucheface, you enjoy the sunshine and keep yer chin up.

smidge your friend sounds brilliant, such good words.Try to keep positive and don't let a tactless moron squash your hopes. Your friend is such a good example of things working out.

nolly3 Wed 13-Aug-14 10:53:19

oh rain. what a douchebag. only 7 minutes til the pubs open ;)

HampshireBlues Wed 13-Aug-14 11:32:46

Thank you for the new home Happy and encouraging to see so many grads as well.

Smidge sorry about your news, it sounds as though the person you spoke to needs a few lessons in compassion and delivering minimal information. We had our follow up face to face and I found that to be really useful. I did cry in he appointment but found they consultant reassuring. I also found it useful to come back and talk with the embryologist as well so it may be worth considering. In meantime, take care of yourself <hugs>

IamKuma Wed 13-Aug-14 13:15:56

My nagging worked, the hysteroscopr clinic called and they have a cancellation next week so I have my appointment on Weds which is CD6. Looks like my IVF will be next cycle, starting early September. Does anyone who has had a hysteroscopy remember if you have to abstain from Dtd afterwards? Could be my last chance at an FUFC!!!

lumen Wed 13-Aug-14 13:17:52

Great news kuma, sorry can't help on your question

GnomieGrace Wed 13-Aug-14 13:50:22

Hi all, I'm 30 beenTTC since May 2014. Irregular periods, no tests done yet and early term MC in April. Was active on Mumsnet last year but found it was taking over my life, looking for support on my journey and to give a healthy dose of support back.

TheRainDrops Wed 13-Aug-14 14:32:16

Hi grace. Did you mean ttc since May 2013? I'm assuming so.
Have you ever had any tests or diagnosis for your irregular periods eg PCOS? If not then as you're over the year marker I'd definitely get to your GP for some basic tests. So sorry to hear about your MC, and I completely know what you mean about ttc taking her your life (life?? What's that??). The Berries is the best support you could ask for, you're in good hands here.

WildflowerMarmalade Wed 13-Aug-14 15:37:58

Ooh lovely! Thank you happy.

grin at nolly's suggestion to rain does (I'm now wondering if nolly has an app which keeps her up to date on nearest open pub).

That book sounds interesting kuma , I think I will go and check it out. Good news that things are moving along for you wrt appointments.

Welcome grace sorry about the mc. This is a good place to give and get support.

smidge I really feel for you. But one failed IVF does not mean you will never get there. This is a very hard road we have to walk and having a good cry is no bad thing. It's a tough old process, so go easy on yourself so that you get the strength for the next little bit.

GnomieGrace Wed 13-Aug-14 18:23:29

Yes sorry! It's about 15 months we've been trying, no never had any tests, went to the docs in November, after trying 6 months but was told to keep trying! hmm

RevoltingPeasant Wed 13-Aug-14 20:16:32

Hello all, just popping by to wish everyone luck!

tigerdog Wed 13-Aug-14 21:24:23

evening ladies, you have been busy today!

thanks for the new thread happy!

rain I can't believe they wanted to ask you more questions about the maternity policy after you made it clear about your mc! Hope you managed to get back to work and the rest of your day was ok. It seems to me that some people think they are helping by addressing some of the practical issues, without any consideration of the potential emotional issuses. He probably just thought you'd be the best person to advise him and didn't think twice about the fact that it might be tough for you to do so.

bushy did you have your appointment today? Hope it went ok.

smidge big hug for you my dear, hope you're ok and not worrying too much. I wouldn't set any store by what the secretaries say. I'm not sure what it is about adminstrators in the health system but they do seem to be the most tactless and unhelpful bunch of people! It must be so tought after a failed IVF but remember the mantra: your turn will come.

kuma excellent work on the nagging. I wasn't told to avoid dtd after my hysteroscopy and literature they gave me also didn't say to. So I reckon you'd be fine to crack on and get the FUFC BFP

Hi grace welcome to berry HQ although sorry that you find yourself here. Plenty of support on offer.

nolly I think going for it makes sense, best to rule out endo if there is a chance. It also allows them to have a really good look at everything inside.

hi barking glad to see you pop by and also reference the yellow brick road, attagirl!

Waves to everyone else!

Not much to report here, just did a really hard power yoga class. I think I am going have seriousy bruised arms from attempting crow pose!

TheRainDrops Wed 13-Aug-14 21:38:58

tiger I just had to google that - you must be super strong! If I attempted that I'd have a broken face, no question!

Yep, my boss is actually ordinarily a pretty good guy just obviously clueless. I do think it was exactly as you say tiger - plus because I held it together at our last chat he probably assumed I was ok with it. He backed off pretty quickly this time, and apologised. Hopefully that's an end to it! Sort of annoying tho because I do want a say in this policy, cos I will need it some day!

Speaking of which, witch is due today/tomorrow. Have some drinks lined up tomorrow evening so used one of tallys donated leftover ICs just now so I can enjoy some guilt free booze, and there was a sort of half blob just on one side where a second line might be found. Definitely NOT a line, but definitely a pinkish mark. I am choosing to think it's a duff test and will do it again tomorrow with FMU but fuck me, I nearly fell over the toilet bowl.

Pixie001 Wed 13-Aug-14 21:57:43

well that teaches me for taking my eye off the thread for a few hours! thanks happy for the new home, loving the new crystals! is the big day this wknd?

pixie, 33, TTC since June 12, DH has azoospermia, SSR Sept/Oct and if goes well ICSI on antagonist/short protocol (according to Berries)

lumen Wed 13-Aug-14 21:57:51

Oooh let us know tomorrow rain how you get on with fmu

Pixie001 Wed 13-Aug-14 22:17:39

kuma thanks for book recommendation - I'm gonna check it out too. and glad you're rolling up for next cycle
nolly good call on adding the grads...nice to have a reminder that the 'copter is waiting to whisk us away
congrats for the bfp kitten, hope goes well.
grace welcome, it's always a difficult leap initially making the jump on to threads like this but you'll get loadsa great advice and support, these ladies are quite simply amazing. agree with the otheres, they should follow u with some test now if you head back to your GP
rain what a loser.
smidge sorry to hear it wasnt for you this time but take your time to get yourself back together and keep with us on the yellow brick road.
bushy brew another raspberry leaf tea is all i can offer...sorry to hear you're still going through it
Gil hoping the next couple of wks fly by, although bet it's proper dragging for you?
tiger yoga every day??? crow pose? are you serious?! much respect.
beaky how you doing and when's your next dildo?
jellie what's the latest on Cyril?
lumen unfortuantely as you can see from infertility issues DH and i possibility of a FUFC!
lady are you still hanging on in there?
HB hows it going with your plan hatching for work?
chloe hows the prep for the strapless dress going?
wild how underactive is your thyroid? i'm also on pills for that
hope i've not missed anyone but sorry if I have!

greatbigbushybeard Wed 13-Aug-14 22:35:36

Well hello, < makes self comfortable> thanks happy. I didn't get round to adding myself to the list:
Greatbigbushybeard 35 ttc for 2 years 8 mths, low ovarian reserve, various tests and laparoscopy. IVF BFP in May ended in miscarriage at end of July.

God, that's grim reading!!

So sorry smidge. I'm sure it's not quite like that. I don't think these people think about how they come across on the phone and how we interpret what they say. I think going in and speaking to them isn't a bad thing though.

Love that nolly knows the pub opening times smile rain what an arse... Did you go have a stiff g 'n't?!

So went back to hospital today, had to dodge the newly pg people with their bounty packs, the big bumps, a little baby in pram and people going to maternity ward with baby car seat and helium balloon with 'it's a girl' on it... Despite that, I kept my reserve. Anyhow, upshot is after scan I still have retained products- blood clots or placenta still in cervix and main cavity. They gave me options: wait for it to pass naturally, take medication again or have op. I've taken another dose of medication and have to go back in 2 weeks. The nurse was lovely and was keen to check on how I was physically and emotionally. She said it is grief but it's harder as there isn't something tangible that you lost so there's no funeral etc. She did say that the body is more fertile after a miscarriage and that we should try to enjoy a normal, healthy sex life and.... Our favourite: relax! She said she knows it's v hard to do but that it's the best thing. So both partners should avoid stress and that you should have fun and enjoy life. No telling your partner is ovulation time, no putting stress onto ttc etc and loose boxers! She said how the hedonistic people who, in her words, drink a bottle of vodka and smoke wacky baccy, find themselves pregnant partly because they're not thinking about it at all. She said it was totally normal to try to look for a reason why and that it's not fair esp after it being so precious. She also had probably the best relax story so far, which was a couple who had been trying for 17 years, gave up, went on a cruise and boom pregnant. The nurse did say something about the reason why people say to relax and avoid stress is that the hormones that control ovulation etc all start in the pituitary part of the brain which is influenced by stress etc. It kind of made sense. It's certainly made me feel I'm going to try my best not to get stressed and sucked in at work ( much, much easier said than done) and to not overthink the ttc bit.

HowsTheSerenity Wed 13-Aug-14 22:39:56


Apologies for hiding but everything in life has been chaotic and MN took a back seat.

How is everyone? I have weeks of posts to read to catch up.

We are going to try another cycle in Octobet with a much more aggressive protocol in the hope that we get something to work either.

Work is being arsey about me takng sick leave instead of annual leave. My boss is a cockwank.

That's about it really.

HowsTheSerenity Wed 13-Aug-14 22:44:06

Should update my stats too I guess
34 years old, ttc 20 months, low AMH, fibroids, 3 months failed clomid, failed ivf/ICSI July, DH has textbook perfect super sperm. I have a murderous vagina it seems.

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