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Anyone got pregnant with no.1 very quickly bit struggling with no.2?

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tattyteddy Mon 28-Jul-14 20:54:49

Hello,

Was just wondering whether anybody has had a similar experience?

When trying for first child got pregnant the first month, however that ended in MC. Luckily I got pregnant again with DD after first month of trying again.

DD is now three, we would have started TTC sooner but I went back I Uni and I'm due to finish in November.

We have been trying for 5 months and no luck, worried that I've left it too late as I'm now 37.

sad

BobsyBoo Tue 29-Jul-14 15:59:25

Hi tattyteddy

I'm in the same boat, we weren't actively trying when I got pg with DD, although we weren't always careful.

DD is nearly 4 and we've been TTC #2 for 18 months and I'm 38 (was 36 when we started trying).

I've started using an OPK the last couple cycles and I've got one with Hormone indicator so tells you you're best 4 days to conceive to use next time.

RosinaCopper Tue 29-Jul-14 16:18:30

Sorry you're in this situation, it's a bit shit to be told you have 'secondary infertility' which is what they called it when I was going through it.

It took us 3 months to conceive ds1 and 36 months of actively ttc to fall pregnant a second time. (I had a chemical pregnancy at 24 months).

I was tested for everything and the only thing that went against me was my age (I was 35 when I had ds1 and 40 when I had dcs 2 and 3).

I found Toni Weschlers book 'taking charge of your fertility' really interesting, but ultimately it was a case of keeping on trying. Sorry I can't be more helpful than that, but if it's any consolation you are not alone in finding it less quick second time around.

Cnix Tue 29-Jul-14 16:22:09

I got pg relatively easily with dd (4 cycles). Been trying for #2 for just under a year and no luck. First 4 months was just taking it relatively easy and seeing what happened. When nothing did happen I started to use a cbfm and discovered I had a short LP. Tried vit b6 and agnus castus but no luck. Then had me and DH tested/ results 'normal' The gp won't refer us until a year of trying so I went to reflexologist and this month I've seen some really good results. And hoping BFP not far away. I am almost 37.

I would recommend tracking your cycle and getting blood tests because if there is something the matter the sooner you know the sooner you can try to fix it.
Five cycles isn't that long to be trying but I know how frustrating it is. Good luck.

fififolle Tue 29-Jul-14 16:35:57

Hi all, I'm in the same boat too. DS age 4 was conceived in the first cycle of trying. I've been very keen to have another baby since he was 2.5 but it's taken longer to persuade DH. We've had two cycles of trying since Mirena was removed and nothing yet. I'm 36.5 and fretting very worried that we've left it too late. I've just ordered the clearblue ovulation sticks.

GingerbreadBabyPlease Tue 29-Jul-14 20:57:09

Hi tatty I could have written your thread title! DD was conceived in the second cycle, she is now 2.9. We have been trying for a second for 13 months now and I just cannot understand why it isn't happening. Secondary infertility is just horrible, it doesn't make any sense! I am 28 so technically age should be on my side, but it doesn't seem to make any difference, so I really wouldn't worry about your age being a major factor ladies. My DM tried for me for 7 years, starting when she was 28 and eventually having me when she was 36!
CNix have you seen good results with your LP from doing the reflexology? I am considering going for acupuncture (much to DHs disapproval) but am wondering if I should try reflexology first, it's a bit cheaper isn't it? My cycles are reasonably regular but I have had a few shorter ones with a very short LP.
Rosina your story is encouraging! 3 years must have been hard, but amazing that it did happen eventually!
tatty 5 cycles is still on the optimistic side, but it might be worth making an appointment with your GP if it goes beyond 6, just to get the ball rolling, it can take months to get through all the appointments and tests. Have you been tracking your cycles?

tattyteddy Tue 29-Jul-14 21:14:26

Thank you for replying everyone and apologies for taking so long to reply back. I've been on placement all day so not had a chance to check MN.

It's good to hear that I'm not alone in this and I know I should be thankful for having any children at all - which I am thankful for!

It's just that all the people I got to know when having DD are either pregnant or had baby number 2.

I did go and see the GP and they took some bloods and said everything was normal (which is good I guess). DH has an appointment to be checked out too. He is only 35 so hopefully he will be normal too.

When I was talking to the GP I told her about doing an MA and that I would be finishing and qualifying this year. She thinks that due to being on placement, having a dissertation to do, having a toddler is resulting in stress. She thought that the stress is the reason I've not got a sniff of BFP! She also said if no luck after I'm finished MA then she will refer me on for more checks.

I will have a look at that book by Toni Weschlers - thanks for the recommendation.

I've been using the CBFM (which worked brilliantly for DD) - but it does show that I'm ovulating and this has been confirmed by GP too. I've been tracking my cycles but have not been temping - perhaps I should give that a go to?

Tatty xx

I've got a bfp for my number 2 dc...9 years after the first one!

We have been trying for the last few years but even though ovulating tests said I was ovulating about 2weeks after my period, I was actually ovulating just after my period, like a day or two later. It's really weird!

The doctor said to me before, if there are no problems, then it will happen. It might not be today or tomorrow or next month, but it will happen so hang in there!

tattyteddy Tue 29-Jul-14 21:43:05

Thanks TakeMeup and congrats on the BFP!

Also my DD keeps asking when we will have a baby in our house and that she really wants a baby brother or sister. I think she is seeing pregnant mummies at nursery!

Cnix Wed 30-Jul-14 06:39:46

GingerbreadBabyPlease- this month I had a 12.5 day LP - the longest since I've been tracking my cycle. My reflexologist showed me pressure points on my foot to stimulate twice a day to increase my progesterone level and I believe this has helped. I've also been temping and my temps were much higher this month too during my LP. It costs £35 per session which isn't cheap but I really enjoy it as she is lovely and it has turned into a bit of a therapy session for me.

tattyteddy- stress may bd a factor, that's what I've been told too and am considering giving up my highly stressful job.

smogsville Wed 30-Jul-14 19:36:24

Yes to everything it's really annoying isn't it! DH has checked out ok (unsurprising as DD is only 2.9). I am having more blood tests this month to try to establish if I'm ovving or not - thus far results haven't been reliable bc my periods aren't exactly regular.
Good luck everyone....

naty1 Thu 31-Jul-14 16:16:31

I think stress is unlikely to be a factor ... Or noone would get pg with ivf (though i guess that could be as they control your hormone levels)
Things like weight, age, general health.

tattyteddy Thu 31-Jul-14 20:08:30

Does anyone know what further tests they do? Do you have to see a specialist? I had an Emergency c-section with DD - I wonder if that has any bearing?

EmperorTomatoKetchup Thu 31-Jul-14 20:31:17

Hi Tattyteddy

I'm also in the same boat, I got pregnant first month of trying with DS and without using OPKs or knowing anything about my cycle etc. Now, 2 years later and nearly 36, we're into month 6 of trying for DC2 and that's using OPKs too.

I also had an emergency section, so a bit worried that it botched something up. If I'm not pregnant this month then I guess we'll be booking a GP appointment.

tattyteddy Thu 31-Jul-14 20:43:26

Sorry to hear so many of us are in the same boat! Emperor this will be out 6 month too - hopefully a lucky one! smile

smogsville Sat 02-Aug-14 08:02:20

C sections can potentially cause probs (I had one) but an ultrasound (internal and external) will show whether or not there is anything there. Mine was clear. My problem is I don't know if I am ovving as I have periods but they vary by quite a few days and in any case it turns out you can be having periods without ovving. I was on the combined pill too which can apparently screw with ovulation for up to 12 months after you come off it. So frankly perhaps we should just stop DTD until November and give ourselves a break! Just been back to Boots for more folic acid for me and zinc for DH...

Oscarandelliesmum Sat 02-Aug-14 08:19:20

Hi,
This is totally what happened with us...Number one was a lovely surprise- Number two we were trying for a year and getting slightly twitchy' then number three was another quicky. I do remember reading that anything up to a year is considered normal. Good luck!

tattyteddy Sat 02-Aug-14 10:35:51

Thanks everyone. I think I'm one of life's worriers. The GP did say if nothing by November then she'd refer me to the hospital. x

tattyteddy Sat 02-Aug-14 14:01:22

Does anybody else keep getting asked by family and friends whether they are planning on no.2? How do you reply? xx

EmperorTomatoKetchup Sat 02-Aug-14 16:58:47

We don't get asked too much, we usually just say maybe or we're not sure yet.

It looks like month 6 is just as unlucky as the rest have been for me. I'm getting the brown spotting I usually get before my period sad..though not had quite as much cramping as I usually get but that's very feebly clutching at straws!

Fingers crossed for you!

tattyteddy Sat 02-Aug-14 17:40:15

Sorry to hear that emperor, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. xx

BlinkAndMiss Sat 02-Aug-14 22:27:21

Think I'm ready to join you brew. DH and I conceived DS the first few weeks of trying, he's now 20 months. We've been trying for #2 since about Xmas but my cycles have been off ever since we made the decision to ttc, they were always 28 days to the minute before this. Typical!

Anyway, I got a BFP on Thursday after a 39 day cycle the previous month, I think I was just under 6 weeks pregnant but have been bleeding profusely since last night, so I know it's all over which I'm getting my head around with a lot of support from the miscarriage topic on mumsnet (I don't know what I'd do without mumsnet lately!).

So, I guess once this is over I'm back to ttc #2 but having difficulties. I'm sorry to hear that you are all having difficulties too, hopefully we can be of some support to one another whilst we keep trying.

Does anyone know if I count this as my period or whether it doesn't count as technically a miscarriage? I would,have been due my period at this time, the positive test was less than 24hours before the bleeding started.

Can I just add - I don't mean to sound so matter of fact, I'm actually in pieces but I'm looking for ways forward as I don't want to dwell. I need to focus on DS and keeping things happy for him.

Thanks for the information Oscaranddelliesmum, and yes tattyteddy people keep asking me all the time. It's mainly people from work too which is going to be difficult to face next week after going through this. It's rude of people to ask, although it might be understandable, as no one knows what is going on for people. It sucks having this issue, I guess I didn't think it would ever be an issue for me and DH.

Emperor my fingers are crossed for you, sorry to hear about the spotting. Keep positive though, it doesn't mean it's the end until AF shows up fully.

smogsville Sat 02-Aug-14 22:35:34

Blink I'm really sorry to hear that, well done you for trying to hold it together for DS but make sure you give yourself some tlc too. It hasn't happened to me so I can't say I know how you feel on this one, as you say MN boards can be a bit of a lifesaver in these instances.

I think the people who ask are the ones who either don't have kids or who have conceived quickly each time. It just doesn't occur to them that it might not be the same for everyone.

newbie6 Sat 02-Aug-14 23:43:52

Hello,

So sorry to hear about your MC Blink, hope you are getting lots of tlc.

I could have written this post tatty, only difference is I has a DS but everything else is identical! I did decide to go to a fertility clinic to make sure neither me or DH had problems and fortunately results came back fine so I am hoping and praying we get our BFP soon but almost scared to test now as can't cope with the disappointment. This will be cycle no 4 for us and due to test Aug 13th.

Wishing you all BFPs soon

X

tattyteddy Sun 03-Aug-14 09:29:25

Really sorry about the MC Blink. I had a MC before DD and it was awful - I got loads of support through the MN and my DH and luckily we got pregnant with DD first month of trying after MC. I hope you do too.

When I had MC I was about 11 weeks and so waited for an actual period before trying again?

I totally understand you wanting to be happy in front of DS but take some time for yourself too - MC are awful.

Hello Newbie6, nice to have you on this thread.

I definitely find this thread supportive. I feel as though you have to be careful on the Conception bit of MN as some people are struggling to have the first DC. I'm totally grateful for DD and I love her to bits but would love another one. I think I'm going to have to stop watching One Born Every Minute!

I've decided to plan going to Alton Towers with DD when BFN or BFP are due. That way if it is a BFN then I can go on all the rides!

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