Really FED UP and DOWN after MC - HELP!!!!!!

[Belt]

I might just be ranting as I feel really lost and fed up and frustrated. I just need someone who understands....

I M/C my 2nd pregnancy almost 5 weeks ago (will be on Tuesday 1st). I had my few days of grieving and I've decided I don't want to be waiting and we basically continued trying. I guess I was just hoping my period will never return and I will soon find out I'm pregnant again.

Unfortunately over a week ago I experienced some spotting. It is still going on (?!?!?!) - sometimes noting on a tissue, sometimes some light blood or dark brown spotting. According to the net it is not my period (apparently) but I do have all the symptoms of it - tender boobs, mood swings, light cramps. I am just WAITING and WAITING and WAITING for the "usual" bleeding to start I am SO frustrated about this silly spotting I don't think I can take it anymore!!! (my periods are usually about 5 days long)

I am certain I am not pregnant again as I normally HATE coffee during pregnancy (at least first trimester) - first swig of it makes me really nauseous I start sweating. I've had it the 1st and 2nd time round!!!
And right now I am still enjoying my morning cuppa....

I just want this thing to stop so that we can go back to trying for that baby!! I don't like to have sex during periods (or whatever this thing is????) so I feel like we are wasting a valuable time right now!!! I feel like I'm getting a bit obsessed and I actually told my DH maybe we shouldn't be trying at all??? (even though that's not really what I'm thinking!)

I don't know what is happening to me??? I feel all over the place emotionally and even though it's only been few weeks since m/c I just feel so helpless and scared that once I turn that 35 (which is in 3 weeks' time!!) we won't get pregnant forever and we'll be trying for years!! (even though with the 1st and 2nd pregnancy we've basically tried the first cycle and BOOM - there I was - pregnant!).

I just need someone to hear me out and even if it means someone writes "get over yourself", I'll be fine with that kind of answer too.... Promise!

Thanks for reading.....
xx

[ZebraZeebra]

Would never say get over yourself! I had a similar experience so massive hugs to you. I am not surprised your hormones are all over the place...be kind to yourself. Have you POAS to definitely rule out being pregnant. I've been pregnant twice and the symptoms each time were as different as night and day so I'm not sure the coffee thing is a clear indicator.

Have a look at the miscarriage thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2100224-Home-on-the-amazing-and-determined-TTC-after-mc-ers-We-know-all-about-the-ups-and-downs-trails-and-tribulations-how-it-feels-to-live-in-the-cruel-world-of-Facebook-baby-bombs-Solidarity-sisters?msgid=47989374

Some very knowledgeable people and they'll understand exactly what you're going through. Big hugs and fingers crossed for that BFP soon.

[Belt]

Thank you ZebraZeebra. I haven't ruled out possibility of being pregnant yet - I think it's the fear of disappointment.
I'll check the thread. Thank you!

[ZebraZeebra]

My pleasure...sad that you have to join the thread but happy as well because it's a good place to be, amongst people that understand the confusing emotional and confusing biology stuff!

[Andcake]

MC can really screw up your body - i went nuts after one when af did not appear for 3 months and all GP said was irregularities are usual for up to a year - HELPFUL

Also it is so understandable to just want to move on a bit and try again to get some new hope.
goodluck