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Home of the very brave TTC after MC-ers. Advice, understanding and a variety or food based euphemisms. Pull up a pew, ladies!

(1000 Posts)
Justonemoretime Thu 24-Apr-14 19:16:01

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative <<refuses to admit that's what I'll do>>
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Sighing Tue 03-Jun-14 14:15:00

Treacle: Surely someone can be put in to help you get through the work?.
Silver : I was one of the team ... Meaning I was holding out to leave for maternity or a redundancy like so many are hoping for at work. Now I've been off, i'm not one of them anymore. I took so long off some of them have tried to pick bits up but they're pissed at my absence being so long.. But mostly it's just emphasised my workload needs no breaks for ant leave. The new targets imposed on us are not achieveable on my hours. And they are actively looking for slip ups. I feel I might as well go before they find a reason to drag me to disciplinary and sack me.

Treaclepie19 Tue 03-Jun-14 14:19:00

You are brave sighing, don't tell yourself you're not.
You've been through a lot.

I don't know what to think about my workload.
There's only me who can do it. I know I can ask my head for some time to do it but feel like they've been so good I don't want to push it unless I have to.

Sighing Tue 03-Jun-14 14:23:58

Treacle, time seems reasonable to request. They want it done well and you want to give it your best. It's about getting the level of compromise right. Ask for some leeway x

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Tue 03-Jun-14 18:48:39

silver the counselling has been very helpful, most of the time I just talk utter rubbish but it feels good to say exactly what I want to without worrying about upsetting anyone or being judged.

I sleep so much better after counselling and its really helped me learn not to be so hard on myself and to be kind to myself.

For me its been the right route, I knew I needed to talk to someone before I let the grief completely overwhelm me, which I was in danger of doing.

hope everyones had a good day, im feeling much more positive today.

silverine Tue 03-Jun-14 19:14:35

That's great to hear smiling! they reassured me at the assessment it will be a positive experience, so I'm giving it a go! [wink}

cake how are you doing? How far along are you? Did they put you on any meds after the scan?

LittleMissSunshine33 Tue 03-Jun-14 19:30:52

Cake im sorry out posts must of over lapped before!! Congrats! Go little bean!!

Treacle I didn't OV the first month after.

Smiling glad you're feeling more positive!

I'm due my AF Friday it's strange since MC knowing what symptoms I had before I'm looking for those same symptoms again ... It makes it harder now! confused

Cakebaker35 Tue 03-Jun-14 20:09:10

smiling I measured 6+3 at the scan, about 3 days behind where I would be with an average 28 day cycle but I didn't really get back into anything average so they're not concerned and said that's fine. Also no meds needed which is nice, it's just a one-of-those-things type situation.

littlemiss thank you smile here's hoping AF stays away, I'll be keeping fingers and toes crossed for you and any Friday poas-ers x

cavamonster Tue 03-Jun-14 23:07:24

Wanted to add another recommendation for counselling. I suffered two miscarriages in the four months after I suddenly lost my dad and by the time I turned up at my counsellors I was broken. I've been seeing her now every fortnight for nearly 2.5years and it's helped so much. It's help me become so much calmer and helps rationalise my "why me" moments. She has also given me loads of techniques to use day to day.

I am having a tough time this week as yet another AF has arrived which now takes me to over the 3 and a half years mark we have been trying, I know that seeing her on Thursday will help me massively. Sometimes we have do much going in our heads we need an trained expert to help us make sense of it all...

wiltingfast Wed 04-Jun-14 08:33:19

Hi, sorry, still mostly lurking here, had a v small but bright red bleed yesterday 4w after miscarriage. Thought it was af but it turned totally brown yesterday evening and there's nothing this morning. I know this is the wtf cycle but still, wtf?! Was that the af? Was it leftover from the mc? ??? Any advice v welcome smile

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Wed 04-Jun-14 09:31:26

wilting I didnt bleed at all after my erpc, 4 weeks after I had similar to you a bright red bleed followed by a day of brown discharge then again nothing until 2 weeks later (6 wks after erpc) when I had a normal period ( normal for me is painful and heavy so I couldnt tell if it was heavier or not)

I am now begining the dreaded 2 week wait, im not sure if im excited or terrified. Im trying really hard not to think about it. Last time I was really relaxed about it and had a 'if it happens it happens' approach this time I desperatly want to be pregnant.

wiltingfast Wed 04-Jun-14 11:04:53

Ah, extremely similar, many thanks smiling and good luck with the tww!

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 15:50:09

In other 'wtf' news. I shouldn't be symptom spotting. (do remind me) But now that I am sure I'm leaving the stress of work I think my brain is grasping at straws to fret about.
Sore boobs.
That weird brown spotting on Saturday (a fortnight since mc bleeding).
And there were those ov symptoms. Lots of those.
Hope is sky rocketing but i keep telling myself this is going to mean nothing so soon after.
The body will be stuck back in the doghouse when af arrives for teasing me so cruelly.

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 15:50:58

Oh. And nausea. Mild but there

broodylicious Wed 04-Jun-14 17:35:22

Opk say I'm ov-ing! gringrin

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 17:39:50

Broody. That's so great smile

GandTnow Wed 04-Jun-14 17:45:45

I too am way too keen to see symptoms. 6 dpo and have too much saliva in my mouth a lot of the time. The smell of beer last night made me want to vomit and I can't face doing any Jillian Michaels! (although the last one could just be normal!! grin).

I know its far too early to be getting the obsessed and I don't have sore boobs. But this tww is terrible! How early has anyone got a bfp before?

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 17:54:20

I think before 8dpo is pushing it because the egg needs to implant.

Hope26 Wed 04-Jun-14 18:15:48

Hello ladies. My AF has finally arrived on cd35 after miscarriage. Will be ttc this month.. Cannot wait !

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 18:18:16

Yeay Hope! Happy ttc! X

Hope26 Wed 04-Jun-14 18:35:37

I'm wondering if ill ovulate now around cd 15-17 like I used to before. Or will I ovulate sooner? I have no idea..

Monten Wed 04-Jun-14 18:43:55

Hi everyone, I'd like to join your thread if you don't mind.

First of all, sorry for all your losses and that you find yourself here. It's crap.

About me: 36 (almost 37), first BFP in November, very bad news at 12w scan and baby boy subsequently diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome, a chromosomal problem 'incompatible with life'. I had a surgical termination at 13 weeks.

Second BFP at the beginning of May. Went for an early scan to be dated (to book in for early testing) to be told baby measuring very far behind. Scan today confirmed no growth and heartbeat no longer seen. Am booked in for an erpc on Monday.

Just to add another kicker to the mix, my SIL (who announced she was pregnant a few weeks before I did last time) gave birth to her baby boy on Sunday. My due date for my first would have been next month.

So very tough times. Feeling alternately sad, panicked (will this ever happen) and weirdly calm.

I have a question (and I know everyone asks this) but how long did you have off work? I'm off today. Don't really want to go back in before erpc on Monday. But then was hoping to take a full week off after that. Is this too much? Feeling a bit guilty, as had 10 days off in January with termination.

Would appreciate any advice from your own experiences. And sorry once again thanks

Sighing Wed 04-Jun-14 18:50:23

Monten. Hi, so sorry for your losses.
It is somewhere you/ we/ i want noone to be.

I had a very long time. But part of that was concluding I needed to leave that particular job.

I think I would have adapted after the follow up scan (it all seemed to be hanging over me until then). So that was almost three weeks for me. But because of the waiting and in and out of A&E.

broodylicious Wed 04-Jun-14 19:25:05

monten, many heartfelt hugs to you. What a horrid ordeal you've been through/going through. Those words "incompatible with life" are so heartbreaking thanksthanksthanks
I work for myself so I although I didn't have the issue of a boss and colleagues to contend with and I only work 1/1.5 days a week, I still needed time off so I took just over two weeks. IMO, you have to be "selfish" at these particularly shitty times and take the time you need - regardless of time you have been off before or whether your boss will be ok or if someone else will have to pick up your workload. This is your health and well being you've got to consider. Having said that, some people may find more comfort in being at work and being so busy you don't have time to dwell.

Hope26 Wed 04-Jun-14 19:36:24

I took two weeks off from the time I found out I needed to do D&C. My school was very supportive and understanding, you just need to go to a doctor and get a sick note. Hope it all goes well for you

Moffit Wed 04-Jun-14 19:41:19

Sorry for your losses Monten, I would say take as much time as you need. I had two weeks off, but would have taken longer if I needed it, I think we all feel guilty for taking time off, but you really need to put yourself first!

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