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Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

(198 Posts)
spence24 Wed 16-Apr-14 16:56:19

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 31-May-14 11:14:59

Hi aliicecream

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mc, cant imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope you have lots of support, although sadly i don't think there's anything anyone can say to make you feel better.

I suffered a Loss on the 19th/21st May (started bleeding and cramping 19th, was confirmed on scan there was no pregnancy on 21st). Not sure if it was a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage, they couldn't confirm it they said we just class it as a miscarriage.

If that was me sitting in the waiting room i would feel very upset and angered, it must have been very hard for you to listen too hugsssss flowers flowers xxxxxx

icy121 Sun 01-Jun-14 20:30:01

Hey team - any updates? I'm 14 dpo, no af, bfn, tears blah blah.

Had a good 2nd interview they've asked me to meet company owner next weds so at least something is going well. OH bought me lovely flowers today as is been weeping oh his shoulder this morning - which was lovely. He's not amazing as the making me feel better chat thing but I know his heart is in the right place. Don't think he really "gets it" (hate that prase since Miliband has commandeered it - yeh alright £70 shopping bill, whatevs) but I guess he's trying to.

From the male perspective, I am apparently "worrying" about it too much. I thought I was being quite low key - only talk about it c. 15% as much as I think about it. Anyone who says "try not to think about it" hasn't been a woman worried about their ability to conceive.

Had wine today. Fuck it.

spence24 Mon 02-Jun-14 08:59:10

So, here's my update:

We decided to use the SMEP this month to really give us more of a chance, then on 16th May I woke with a painful shoulder, no idea what I'd done. Within 24 hours the pain was unbearable, ended up at the hospital on the nicest day of the year, prescribed wonderfully strong painkillers, and knocked me out for 5 days. Conveniently, right when we'd calculated my fertile window to be. So that was this month written off.

I was due on yesterday. Still no AF by lunchtime, so figured as I had some spare tests lying around I'd take one anyway. Instant BFP, no questioning. Safe to say we were incredibly surprised!

Took another test this morning, and the BFP line was just as dark as the control line. It really doesn't feel real at all - I've had no symptoms, I don't "feel" any different, and I thought I would.

So now, as I'm typing this I'm also sat here with the phone number for the doctors typed into my phone, trying to figure out how to say "I'm pregnant" out loud for the first time...really hoping this sticks, as it'll mean dates etc line up perfectly for us for the rest of the year (I'm an event manager and shop owner)...

...Still not sure what to make of it all!

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 02-Jun-14 09:15:04

Spence That's Fantastic! brilliant news grin yes you must be in shock after everything you have been through, really keeping fingers crossed for you xxxx

Mims786 Mon 02-Jun-14 09:24:14

Congratulations Spence! Really good news to hear!

icy121 Tue 03-Jun-14 16:39:10

Great news spence! Massively jealous, obvs, but good for you :-) x

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 15:09:15

Thanks guys. As weird as it sounds, it's not all that I expected. I still don't feel any different, apart from noticing that I am getting hungrier a lot quicker than I usually do. One of my staff members heard my stomach rumbling from across the shop yesterday morning and had to throw them the "skipped breakfast" line before scoffing a bag of crisps!

I splashed out on a fancy digital test to see how far along I was as my cycles are irregular - it said 2-3 weeks since conception, so we're about 5 weeks, looking at a very early Feb 2015 due date.

We've told my best friend, and his too, so we have non-family people that we can chat to in the early days. Telling my mum tomorrow, after OH chickened out telling his mum yesterday. Everyone else can wait until we know all is OK.

How is everyone else doing? If anyone was thinking about it, I am now recommending the SMEP very highly!

icy121 Wed 04-Jun-14 16:52:15

I've told my oh we're doing smep albeit because my cycle is long/irregular there's not much point starting day 8.

Work - had a meeting with company owner today, hopefully he'll offer me a nice new job.

Ttc - booked in for a fertility mot for Monday week. Not expecting much from it but would like peace of mind.

Generally a bit blue about the whole thing.

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 21:51:08

Hi all, congrats spence! Can I be nosey and ask how long was it between you last dtd and ovulation, were you a few days out then? Dh and I last dtd 2/3 days before ovulation so slim chance for bfp I think

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:08:42

We've actually sat and worked it out this evening, good job I was keeping track on an app really!

We've worked out that we conceived on 14th May, and DTD on 12th - which means when I took as test thinking I was due on that day, I was actually 4 days late - I have a long and sometimes irregular cycle so I was counting a 36 day cycle when we reckon it was actually 32. I thought we'd totally missed it as well, so there is still a chance it seems!

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:20:55

Those apps are very helpful arent they! This gives me hope though don't think we shall be so lucky. Did you have any clues or did you feel totally normal? Sorry for the questions, I just have it in my head that when it happens I will be able to tell naturally lol

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:41:21

I thought that too but at the moment I feel no different! It just makes me feel that AF is still going to arrive, but according to those who now know (best friend and my mum), I have about 7-10 days until the sickness kicks in...lovely.

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 23:28:44

Ha! Hope it all goes well for you and you don't suffer from the sickness too much!

Mims786 Tue 17-Jun-14 18:55:41

Hi all, so I need a bit of advice/explanation/assurance.

Basically I've been tic for about 10 mths, I've had a blood test to check I'm ovulating which I am. I've been taking Pregnacare for about 5 weeks now. My AF is due in 2 days and around 5 days before AF I've wiped and found light brown stain nothing in my pants, sorry for tmi, and again 3 days before AF light brown stain again nothing in my pants but nothing else between these days.

I really don't want to get my hopes up again this month.

Can anyone help?


icy121 Wed 18-Jun-14 09:22:36

you could take a test? I guess it's one of those things that if you're pregnant would be a symptom, but if you're not would just be spotting..! Sorry that is no help at all. I hate hopes up. Last cycle, I'd calculated AF as due for a certain day. On that day no AF, so trotted along to Boots, got an hpt, bfn, next day the cramps started. So discouraging.

I'm back to square one anyway, don't think I've got the job I was after, the company is hiring one of my colleagues, possibly two instead! Gutted! They've hired nice, solid, reliable men. Brilliant.

Ov is due next Friday. Tempted to sack the Ov sticks, as they cause stress, but as I've got them in the house, I know I'll use them. Dammit!



Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:02:01

I did a couple of tests but was bfn. Put it down to being too early to test so was going to wait for missed/period.

I have a sinking angry heavy feeling it's the dreaded bitch that is AF! Bad times.

I'm in the same boat as you with OV sticks but will end up using them as I have them.

I don't know how you do it with a 40 day cycle. On severe age I'm. 27/28 day cycle.

Icy, maybe this job wasn't the one for you as I think something bigger and better will come your way. I find that things happen for a reason. Patience is a virtue. I pray that it does! X

Maybe I should listen to my own advice hence why I'm not pregnant yet! Lol!

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:03:05

On average*

icy121 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:30:26

Here's hoping it's not AF. You're still in with a shout until you know for sure?!

I find I cry a lot when I get AF, feel sick to my stomach about the thought of how LONG it will take to get to the next ovulation, and then ban myself from internet and forums for the first few weeks. I'm on CD17 and still have 9 days to ovulate.... waaaah

The job probably wasn't for me, it's not great timing, and sods law is I'd get pregnant straight away. Still though, it's just another thing I feel I've failed at recently.

Oh well. at least in my current job there's lots of scope for skivey days... so that's a result!

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 11:54:55

We'll maybe that is the reason you haven't got the job because this month may be the one. Fingers crossed. Think of the negative and change it to a positive.

Don't think of yourself as a failure because you didn't get the job. If anything, they failed you for not giving it to you. They are human too and they may have made a mistake hiring the other person.

Chin up Hun! X

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 20:35:13

Icy121 that bitch AF came today. Not happy at all? sad

icy121 Thu 19-Jun-14 22:57:06

Oh no just seen this

Fucking rubbish. Periods and not being pregnant LIKE NOW is crap.

:-( hope you're having hot baths and soon comforting stuff.

Dust yourself off and onto the next one... At least only 14 days til you're fertile again! So lucky! Have some wine if you drink and onwards and upwards.


Mims786 Sat 21-Jun-14 23:11:36

Oh icy! I've had a few horrible days! Hormonal, broody, stressing, painful! Urgh! I feel like I'm turning into crazy woman looking at the most beautiful kids that come into the cafe where I work!

And when I see them I turn into a mess and want to cry, I swear the parents think I'm a weirdo but I'm not. I'm just longing for one of my own!

I don't drink but some days I ve felt like needing something strong! Lol!

I'm a Muslim and the month of Ramadan will be staring very soon. I do feel like I should take a break this month and focus on my fasting and cleansing my soul instead of ttc. Who knows.

I've just had enough now of wanting for something for so long that I don't want it anymore! Does that make any sense?

Mims786 Wed 30-Jul-14 17:02:21

Hello people! So I need some more advice if anyone can help.

So I've had my hormones levels checked which have come back normal and I, ovulating. My DH has had SA and results have come back too. He has a low sperm count of less than 1m. Of which I do not know the motility etc. we are going for more tests and hopefully referred to ICSI.

Has anyone else had any issues or can give advice on how to improve?

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