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father of baby

(41 Posts)
cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:41:47


Im really worried and don't know if im just being over the top but I really need to know! Me and my boyfriend had been together a year and a half and last year we split for a couple of months. On a drunken night out with work friends I ended up sleeping with one of my work colleagues. He is much older than I am I am 21 and he is 39. This was the 14th November. I was on my period at the time sorry tmi I thought it had gone but it was still there for the next couple of days. I was also on the pill but off it to let my period come and I ended up not going back on it from there. On 1st December I got back with my ex and my period started that day. We had sex from then on and I found out on 31st December I was 4-5 weeks pregnant going by the clear blue test. I then had an early scan about a week or 2 weeks after and was told I was 5-6 weeks pregnant and they could only see the sac. I was given an EDD by my midwife of 9th September then I went for my 12 week scan and it was 6th September. All my dates add up correctly to be my boyfriends baby but im so scared its not. Can anyone help? Thanks

lunar1 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:52:42

The only way you will know for sure is a DNA test after te baby arrives.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 09:56:51

My conception date is around the 14th December so that is a month after the one night stand. Plus I had a period and slept with the colleague during a period. Does that not count?

FuckingFuck Fri 28-Mar-14 10:15:01

Sounds to me going off your dates that it is your boyfriends and very unlikely to be colleagues as long as your dates are right.

I presume your boyfriend doesn't know about the one night stand with your colleague?

Pointeshoes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:16:11

The only way you will know is by doing a DNA. Does your boyfriend know ?

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:18:04

My boyfriend does know but because we've had a couple of scans and they all add up accordingly with my period he thinks im over reacting. I really doubt it would be the colleagues but I just really don't want it to be I think thats why im so worried. As I said I did sleep with him during a period and then I had one the following month. Between the 14th November and probably the 2nd week of December I didnt have sex with anyone.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:21:18

The other thing was when I had my first scan and was 5-6 weeks they could only see the sac. If it was my colleagues I would of been 8-9 weeks and they would of seen a baby.

Pointeshoes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:25:32

I'm not very good at working these things out but it sounds like it's your boyfriends. Must be difficult to not worry though, hope you have support in rl. Have you talked with your boyfriend about if it turns out not to be his child?

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:36:34

Well my boyfriend has stopped worrying about it and thinks im being silly so we don't talk about it anymore. When I had the scans I felt relieved but I get worried every so often as I couldn't live with a lie. Im glad he knows but I would hate to lose him over it.

Ludways Fri 28-Mar-14 10:40:41

It's pretty certain to be your boyfriend, I'd stop worrying.

Pointeshoes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:43:18

It is better he knows now but I don't think it's healthy to not be open with each on how your feeling, of course your going to feel anxious, I take it the baby will be your first?

Branleuse Fri 28-Mar-14 10:45:35

if you came on ypur period a month after having sex with the other guy, and ypur dates match up, then its definitely your boyfriends.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:47:18

Thats true I just don't want to upset him as we had the discussion before and we sorted it out as I knew in my head it was his but then these worries have creeped up again. I think the more I look into the worst I get cos I know going by the situation the dates and everything else it is my boyfriends as nothing has come up to suggest it would be the colleagues. I feel like if I bring it up again it will make matters worse. Yes it would be our first

Pointeshoes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:48:19

Does anyone else know about the situation in your family then ? Or a close friend to talk to ? I know when I fell pregnant I just wanted someone else to chat to other than my boyfriend about the pregnancy.

Viviennemary Fri 28-Mar-14 10:49:25

I don't agree with telling your boyfriend the truth until you know for sure by a DNA test. What is the point of opening a can of worms to no avail.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:50:36

My family know the situation and so do some friends. They all think im being silly too and say it couldn't be the colleagues. He even knows im pregnant and has congratulated me and my boyfriend and never asked if it was his.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:52:30

Thats my worry. My boyfriend knows I slept with the colleague the month before we got back together. I havent hidden any details from him but he is confident the baby is his knowing all the details. If I keep bringing it up it will just wear on him and everyone else.

Pointeshoes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:54:28

You need to relax then and have some time to yourself to try and not worry about it all. The more you think it over in your head the more it will make you panic. So breath , it's your bfriends and think about planning for your baby smile

behindthetimes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:54:49

It sounds like it's just playing on your mind- I find that pregnancy is an easy time for negative thoughts to come in, but it sounds from your dates like it's no doubt it's your boyfriends. You've been honest with him, and he is certain it is his, so I would do your best to put these worries away and enjoy looking to the future.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 10:56:00

Do you think im just over reacting? And do you think it really is his going by the dates and the fact I had sex on my period and the pill with the colleague?

FoodieMum3 Fri 28-Mar-14 11:12:57

If your EDD is September 6th you will have conceived in December.

I'm due on September the 14th and my conception date was December 22nd.

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 11:15:11

Yeah my estimated conception date is 14th December. So exactly a month after I slept with the colleague.

FoodieMum3 Fri 28-Mar-14 11:16:28

Stop worrying so!!!

Enjoy your pregnancy smile

cookies92 Fri 28-Mar-14 11:17:22

Haha I know I just sooo don't want it to be the colleagues im such a worrier.

newbieman1978 Fri 28-Mar-14 12:38:00

I'm sure Jeremy Kyle can help! :-)

Seriously though when the baby comes you need to have a DNA test and find out 100%. It'll only eat away at you and possibly cause more problems in the future. And plus the child has a right to know who their bialogical parents are regardless of who brings them up.

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