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Any of my dragons there? Can't stop crying

(38 Posts)
Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 21:40:08

Hello lovely ladies. I know, I know, this is in the wrong place, so move me. But the dragon ladies were all there for me and I don't really know where else to go. Farmers wife, solicitor by day, lonely tonight. Lost bean after ten months ttc two weeks ago today. Have kept going, went straight from hospital to course up North, stayed there two nights, back to hospital and have worked ever since. Tonight I am sad and I just cannot stop crying. Sorry for typos, can barely see the screen. Just wanted to speak to someone. Hope you are all ok. X

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 22:08:21

Sorry, had a total wobble there, take care all, xx

FragglerockAmpersand Fri 21-Mar-14 22:11:59

Hello. I'm not a dragon (!) but I've been there and you sound so sad, and I couldn't see your post and carry on with my Netflix binge without giving you a manly punch on the arm and a brew. Hope like mad things get better for you soon.

BumWad Fri 21-Mar-14 22:18:16

And hugs for you too from me.

Not a dragon either but I have been in your position things will get better, give yourself time to grieve xxx

broodysnoopstie Fri 21-Mar-14 22:21:23

sending a big un mn hug. It will get easier xxthanks

OhGood Fri 21-Mar-14 22:22:41

Right and fine to wobble. I am so sorry.

This prob will not make you feel better - sorry - but I and a couple of friends IRL have also been there, and I like very much to think of our little lost ones all together somewhere safe and happy.

Sorry, and good luck. xxx

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 22:23:06

Thank you so much fraggle, Your name is amazing!! Reminds me of my wee brother who is off in foreign lands and I have not seen for years. Thank you for manly punch, I have been brave, honest,but tonight, just cannot do it. Dh, who is a lovely dh, has given up and gone to bed. But In fairness has been up since 4.
Thank u and sorry for bothering you and others. X

ThoraNomiki Fri 21-Mar-14 22:25:18

I'm so sorry for your loss sad Give yourself time to grieve and take care of yourself thanks thanks thanks

Shlurpbop Fri 21-Mar-14 22:26:36

Another non dragon here just wanting to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending another punch on the arm (is that the new un-mumsnet thing to do?!)

toots123 Fri 21-Mar-14 22:27:01

Sending you big hugs. Nothing I will say will take away the pain but you have sone support here

have a wine and some chocolate and get the feet up

xxx
.

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 22:32:43

Ach, thank you all so much, I am sorry for cross posting. Feel very weakened tonight from comments from mother in law, usually, lovely. Just eight babies born from friends or acquaintances of ours since it happened. She said, well,,you should get you priorities right. Like I did it on purpose. She doesn't met harm but for some reason she pushed me over the edge. She's mother off our boys and only the eldest sons wife has kids, yet is also on the farm. Other two still at school and no room for me. Just feeling so low tonight. Thank you all. X

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 22:34:07

God. Mother of four boys......sorry.

MrsExtraOrdinary Fri 21-Mar-14 22:34:20

Allthequeens, you poor love! thanks Blimey it's about time you were in floods of tears. It had to come out some time and sounds like tonight's the night. I'm so very sorry. I wish you weren't on your own in rl but we are all here.

A lot of us have been in your shoes so don't feel all hope is lost. Allow yourself time. Have a hug xx

EnglishGirlAbroad Fri 21-Mar-14 22:52:25

Allthequeens - sending you a big warm dragon hug! I've been where you are and it's truly awful. Allow yourself these wobbles. I promise it will get easier. If you need some support, I'm also on another thread for TTC after a mc and the ladies are awesome, it's the one with the big WARNING in the title. They've all been where you are now.
I really hope you have some support in rl. Tell your mother in law to bugger off with her highly insensitive comments.

rambini Fri 21-Mar-14 22:52:48

A dragon here, but dragon or no dragon I couldn't have read your post and not replied. TTC can be such a lonely experience, even when it is going well, so I can only imagine how difficult and lonely it can be when things go wrong. I am so sorry for your lost bean, no one should underestimate the pain and upset it causes. And you dont need to feel bad for crying, especially on us, this is why we are all here, not just to share in peoples happiness but to support them in their sadness as far as we can too. Treat yourself kindly, and know there are people thinking of you xx

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 22:54:54

Aaahhhhhh. Swinging between angry and so upset. I have the most wonderful niece and nephews in the world. And they love me, they really do. But tonight, I feel selfish and cross. I got up at four and went to work, did office stuff, did full criminal court, got home for once, early, ie at six. Then zoomed them to their swimming lesson, just love the bones of them and sat crying silently at the mums with babies all around me. Then tonight since I got in just cannot let it up. And I just think why, why can't I have my baby.

flirty30s Fri 21-Mar-14 22:57:02

I am so very sorry darling. Cry yourself out, have a glass of wine, open an Easter egg and cry some more. You will feel better tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and saying a special little prayer for you and your little bean xxx

MissMrsMummy Fri 21-Mar-14 23:00:27

So sorry to read this thanks my thoughts are with you. Hope you soon feel better xoxo

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 23:00:46

Gosh, I am ridiculous, and so humbled. I have now been called to go and sort calving cows night shift. I'm so sorry to all you lovely ladies and I am so grateful to you all. I do not post often but take great comfort to this forum and to you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. To those who have replied and to you all. I am sorry for hijacking the wrong place and dumping this on you all. X

bellaboo88 Fri 21-Mar-14 23:01:07

Sending you a big virtual hug, its completely not fair when TTC :-(

Don't listen to mil, how insensitive.

Its OK to grieve...I'm sure as English said girls on Mac thread will direct you to the right place.

Its very lonely, also difficult when you're in a stressful job. Can you talk to a friend in RL? Xx

resipsa Fri 21-Mar-14 23:03:18

thanks

KittyVonCatsington Fri 21-Mar-14 23:03:29

I'm probably too late this evening queen-but I will always be here xx There is actually no rhyme nor reason to what happenend and you did nothing wrong. It doesn't make it any less heartbreaking; I understand how much you want to turn back the clock. I hope you had a good cry and now start to feel better. Remember, keep your eye on the prize-your body now knows what to do thanks

Allthequeenshorses Fri 21-Mar-14 23:08:51

My bestest friends are to far away and have enough going on. I am close to my sister in law but she works her on the farm and is relying on me just now for her kids. I don't know I feel awful for bothering you all but just could not take anymore tonight. I honestly have tried to be brave. I went to Glasgow and sat through a whole course on safeguarding children whilst I was losing my own. I have gone into work every day but tonight just seem to have lost it.

I am so scared of what to say and what to do next.

JonesSchool Fri 21-Mar-14 23:09:21

So sorry, it seems so sad that so many of us have been where you are. Let it all out, I think crying really helps. Thinking of you and I hope tomorrow is a tiny bit easier! Xx

Treaclepie19 Fri 21-Mar-14 23:28:26

Big dragon hug. So sorry to hear of your loss sad

Look after yourself xxx

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