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I am obsessed with getting pregnant again. Husband says no.

(5 Posts)
Gemmaisobel Wed 19-Mar-14 15:45:17

I have a beautiful 6 month daughter. She was not planned. However since her birth all I can think about is how much I want another when we first found out about my daughter my husband was really not happy as we didn't think we would have kids. However now she is here he loves her to bits.
I am an only child and always knew I would have to have two children. I have tried to discuss this with husband but he gets angry and says not a chance. I am obsessed with the idea of having another I even know exactly when I would like to conceive (in two years). I am so worried that I won't be able to change his mind and don't think he would accept another accident.

ithinkineedahug Sun 23-Mar-14 19:38:48

I've been desperate for a baby for about 2 years. Husbie has always said no. My implant is coming our on Tuesday. . he's now ready for and i'm so so excited. I could have got pregnant accidentally two years ago but it would have felt wrong. It is going to be his baby too smile I guess it depends if having another child is worth sacrificing your relationship for...ultimately that's what you'd be choosing. I'd just be thankful for my one and let it rest for a bit smile bring it back up in 2 years but respect his wishes too.

bakingtins Sun 23-Mar-14 19:45:22

What was your initial agreement on having kids? It sounds like you "always knew you'd have to have two" and he didn't want any. Surely you agreed on this before you married? Who changed their mind? If he's always been consistent about not wanting children then you can't force his hand without risking the relationship.

Figster Sun 23-Mar-14 19:49:41

I was the same last year dh not keen me desperate symptom spotting every month and of testing just in case I couldn't accept it wasn't happening even though timing was shit as dh had run of health and money issues. Started when DS was around 15mo. Dh has now come round to idea though he doing it to keep me happy as he knows I'll be more unhappy without a 2nd than he will be with a 2nd. Due to him changing jobs and childcare costs won't be until this time next year we start ttc which means he will be 40 and me 34 which is a lot older than I ever planned children for.

I'm being patient though as accept he's making a massive decision about how our lives were going to be and so though I'd get to it ASAP I am willing to compromise.

It's taken a year for us to get here and who knows what might happen between now and then but I feel we've got a plan.

Are you willing to stay with him if he doesn't change his mind? Not in hope to find someone else to have another with but because u want such different things? Could you talk to someone such as relate to try work through it?

Gemmaisobel Mon 24-Mar-14 20:00:03

I have talked to dh over the weekend and told him exactly what I want. I asked him just to listen and he did. However he didn't say a word, I think I will take that as progress. I feel much better about getting out in the open what I want.
I really feel that if I stop obsessing and enjoy what I currently have the next year or so will be much better for every one.
Before we got married we both were not sure about kids at all but I guess I changed and after our daughter I knew straight away I would have to have a second.
I feel more confident that dh will come round to this idea so fingers crossed it will work out like if has for you ithinkineedahug

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