I have always made it clear to DH that I want 2 children. We already have DS aged 2. He has always said he wanted 1. DH is an only child (not intentionally) whereas I am the youngest of 2.
In September 2013 after a baby discussion with friends, DH made it clear that it would be the end of us if I 'trapped' him. I was very upset - not at the declaration of the end of our marriage but the very thought he would think I would do this. A bit of frostiness ensued and the following morning DH declared that the answer was 'yes' we would have another but he didn't want to say in front of friends that our DS's birth was traumatic and he didn't want to go through it again (placenta abruption lead to EMCS). He decided that March 2014 would be a good time.
So I came off the pill in October 2013 as I didn't see the need to get more if I was 'due' to come off at Christmas. Turns out, glad I did as it took 8 weeks for my period to arrive!
Since then, the subject of babies hasn't come up often but I did mention about saving some money for the second maternity to which he replied that we'd be fine.
So March 2014 has come and what happens .... DH buys MORE condoms! This threw me considerably especially as he has no knowledge, to my knowledge, that even I have had second thoughts to TTC in March and would ideally leave it until July for personal and work related reasons.
Now I am thinking DH doesn't want to try for a second which makes me think, did he say all that to 'butter me up'???
Not sure if I need persuasion techniques for him, me or both!
I would love a second child and July seems to be the right time to TTC as potentially DS will be 3 1/2 by the time number 2 arrives. But I worry about coping with 2, working full time, affording the things (luxuries) we enjoy. in fact, money is technically no object as we'd (should!) be financially secure still. We're also at a period in our life where we can enjoy family outings, trips, weekends away without having a baby to 'drag' about etc, etc.
Anyone give me PLENTY of advantages to 100% convince me that having a 2nd is the right thing and DEFINITELY need plenty for DH.
I haven't spoken to him about it because I am scared of hearing something I don't want to and also I KNOW we'd never regret having a second child - planned or unplanned!
Just need some help with forming a decision and also how to apporach this with only child DH!
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Persuasion needed
4 replies
junkfoodaddict · 15/03/2014 21:52
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