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thread maxed out!!

(533 Posts)
misskgb Tue 11-Mar-14 08:55:36

The 'Um hello newbie' thread has maxed out at 1000 messages so hoping we can find the people who were on there and continue where we left people welcome too!!

mrshjb Tue 25-Mar-14 12:30:48

Lolly the wait really is awful isn't it. The time I thought I was waiting for AF that week sent me absolutely insane. Dreading it again this month!!

misskgb Tue 25-Mar-14 13:02:20

So just rang the dox as I know the midwife is in on a Tuesday (given my booking in appt is next Tues- eek!) She was lovely!! She thinks it sounds like a sciatic type problem, maybe a trapped nerve, but wants to check me for a uti due to my kidney problems so am off to see the gp tomorrow. Everything apart from my back pain has gone and it's mainly because of that she wants to check me over. She told me not to worry and was looking forward to meeting me next week grin thanks as always ladies!

KikiThePea Tue 25-Mar-14 13:39:38

Glad to hear that misskgb - I have a really irritating trapped nerve in my lower back that's come and gone for years. Annoyingly it seems to be more persistent in its attempts to thwart me as of late; I'm going to have a chat with the midwife about it when I see her in a couple of weeks - if you learn how to make it go away between now and then, please let me know! I've solved my general lower back pain issue by making sure I'm always sitting on a pile of cushions and keeping my knees as low as possible, so at least that's something!
Yay for your booking appointment being soon - it's really nice to be able to meet the midwife properly and have a chat about anything and everything.

I'm pleased the reflexology went well, Helen. I've got a few really busy weeks ahead and then I think I'll definitely be treating myself to a massage of some kind. Until then, chocolate will have to suffice as my go-to feel better cure!

mrshjb Wed 26-Mar-14 09:11:07

Hope everything goes well at the doctors misskgb, let us know how you got on! Glad you didn't think I was being a b*tch and trying to scare you to death, not my intention at all!

Kiki sounds good, definitely think pregnancy is the right time to try and pamper yourself!

Nothing to report here, no positives on the OPKS, no EWCM. I had quite a lot last month at this point, but then didn't OV so don't know if it's a good thing or not. That's about it really, other than my thermometer came yesterday, not sure how good I am going to be at the temping business but it will give me something to do to pass the time and I do love a good graph haha!

Lolly84 Wed 26-Mar-14 22:38:10

Hey hope you are all well. So AF has not arrived I am on cd 32. Feel a bit bizarre as not got any AF cramps just feel some dull aches. Might come back though as I felt it full on a few days ago. Feeling very weird and not sure what to think. Busy days at work are keeping my mind off it x

mrshjb Thu 27-Mar-14 06:59:32

Ooh exciting Lolly. When are you going to test?

mrshjb Thu 27-Mar-14 10:10:56

Think I was justified or unnecessarily harsh?!

KikiThePea Thu 27-Mar-14 12:28:59

I don't think you were being unnecessarily harsh, Helen - you're perfectly justified to take umbrage to unfounded comments about your health and wellbeing.

This is such a stressful time for everyone here (which is why most people end up on these threads in the first place) that people need to think a little more carefully about how they reply to others. It's all well and good to give advice and to make suggestions - again, another reason why ladies are on here in the first place - but to heavy-handedly inform someone that there is clearly something wrong with them is not a positive, or appropriate, course of action.

The reason I've loved this thread from it's original incarnation is that everyone seemed really grounded and sensible when dealing with the realities of conception, and indeed the subsequent problems associated with ttc, and indeed pregnancy. We all have our hysterical moments, and even though it's pretty much impossible to imagine the difficult situations that some users of this website, and people we know in the 'real world', have been in throughout their periods of ttc, it's a saving grace that most women that I've come across on here have been generally rational and aware that there's a difference between giving gentle advice and stuffing opinions down throats - even when they've experienced tragedies I can't even bear to dwell on.

If I thought there was a problem with my body or my pregnancy I'd love to have people try and explain what the problem could be, and probably gently suggest ways of solving the issue or perhaps giving an account of their own experiences. To be honest, without you girls on here I think I would have gone stark raving mad from the beginning because it's difficult to go through any of this when you're trying so hard to keep it from those you are closest to. However, what I would never want was to be told that there was certainly something wrong with me/I hadn't acted in the correct way/that something I'd innocently done had ruined my chances of ever becoming pregnant (and unfortunately I have seen comments to this effect).

Give advice and tread gently - it's what we all want, and honestly, what we all need at times. Unhelpful comments should be left at the door.

KikiThePea Thu 27-Mar-14 12:29:38

Well, that ended up being lengthier than anticipated. Oops!

mrshjb Thu 27-Mar-14 14:48:28

Thanks for the lengthy reply Kiki!!

You're exactly right. Sometimes I end up ranting to DH about things that I have read and have been said to me on MN and he always says he doesn't understand why I come on. So I say that not everyone is like that and the girls I usually speak to are really nice. I don't think he quite understands how important it is for women to talk to others who are going through the same kinds of things. He also doesn't worry at all so he doesn't understand why I am worried. I just think it's a real shame that there are women out there who feel it's appropriate to make insensitive comments and try to unduly upset and worry other women.

Like you said and I said to her, if she said this is my experience and I found that often you have to push Doctors to do further tests etc, then that would be really useful. But saying your Doctor is clearly rubbish, I know better and there's definitely something wrong with you, is totally unhelpful and probably highly inaccurate. It's really awful if you've come across people who have been told that they have negatively affected their long term ability to conceive as well. I really don't know what would possess anyone to ever say something like that to someone.

I think the lesson learned here for me is to stick to threads where there is clear evidence that the women who write on it are helpful, supportive and respectful of each other. The last thing in the world I need right now is more pressure and worry!

So to ask you lot the question I was trying to ask on a different thread.... What do you think I should do about the irregular periods? My tests show that my thyroid levels are normal and the doctor was happy with my LH and FSH levels at the time of the tests- albeit it seems to be that these really need to be done on day 2 to make much sense. My BMI is 19.6, I have no problems with acne or any other 'typical' pcos symptoms. I had about 4 years of normal periods before going on the pill for 10 years. I've had 3 AFs since coming the pill in October last year. Two at 55 days and 1 at 29 days. I've been doing OPKs this month but haven't had a positive yet- but the month I did get a positive it was in the middle of the day and gone by evening, so I don't know if I am missing it by doing them first thing in the morning and in an evening. I've also had no EWCM yet. But last month I had loads and seemingly didn't ovulate, then if I did ovulate roughly 14 days before AF arrived, I didn't get any symptoms then.

Sorry for the rambling and the summary of stuff you lot already know, but there's been a lot of discussion in between all the stats so wouldn't blame you for forgetting! Reading it all back through, I think the obvious thing I need to do is relax and just wait it out for another few months. But it's really bloody hard!

Anyways ramble over!

Lolly84 Thu 27-Mar-14 19:09:19

Hey Helen, I am feeling very funny about testing and can't bring myself to buy a test. Is that weird? People normally test early. Who knows what I will do as still no af and always regular.

I shared my experience of bleeding between periods. I actually was bleeding at ov time. Turned out to be a polyp. Could have been anything from cancer top pcos to nothing. Doctor did a few blood tests, urine tests and after 2 visits got me booked into a transvaginal ultrasound (google for more info) she was able to look at ovaries. She offered this bit before I went in my sis (who is a nurse) told me to demand an ultrasound. Luckily didn't have to in the end which was good. I was very yearly as I have a bad family history cancer wise and pcos. It was good to have someone have a good look at womb and ovaries. Put my mind at rest. I would recommending demanding the scan just to see. I'm on my phone on this sorry if it doesn't make sense xx

misskgb Thu 27-Mar-14 19:37:17

Lolly- I did a test day before af n was negative but two days late was bfp so if ure late id say do it :-)

Helen-haven't been on the link u sent but from what ure saying, some ppl just aint in the real world. I was really grateful u said something to me the other day even if it was scary. Ive no idea what im doing even tho I have a childcare degree-they don't teach u these things!!!

So on that front. Doc did a dip stick test n all levels seem fine, no blood so looks ok. They're sending it off just to b on the safe side but don't need any antibiotics or anything. Can't wait for midwife on tues :-)

Seriously ladies-so glad to have u all here n helping each other. Keep it up!!

Lolly84 Thu 27-Mar-14 19:47:34

Thanks Misskgb I just feel like I don't want to get my hopes up. How did u feel when af was late? Did u feel crampy?

Lolly84 Thu 27-Mar-14 19:48:00

Ps glad ur ok x

weebairn Thu 27-Mar-14 20:18:57

I don't think you said anything wrong Helen. I was on mumsnet a couple of years ago with my first pregnancy and it's a funny old place. Some bits of it are very supportive (the antenatal threads seem to be) and other bits are actually savage!! (especially "Am I Being Unreasonable?") It's all very funny until it's you someone's having a go at, about something personal, on a difficult day, then it's horrible. I find my own little safe pockets and stick to them. This thread is lovely. I also found the breastfeeding thread helpful, and the sleep one (for later on!)

And as for your question - honestly, it sounds shit, but I would give it the year. A year is a perfectly normal time to conceive. If you can't wait that long and if you feel like how would I know how you feel, I absolutely understand, but, medically - at your age and in perfect health - I'd give it the year.

God it's so easy to say isn't it!! Can you plan lots of boozy holidays…

Lolly I couldn't bear to do an early test because I was so anxious about the thought of getting an early BFP that then ended in a normal period - in the end I tested a week late. You're not alone! When I got my BFP I felt absolutely normal - no PMT symptoms at all. Sickness etc kicked in about a week later.

Also, whatever you do or don't do and whenever you test will not change if you are pregnant or not!!

Fingers crossed for you. xxx

Lolly84 Thu 27-Mar-14 21:44:19

Great advice weebairn, I did think I was being weird. I have chose not to have tests in the house. I am sure if I did I wouldn't have resisted! I'm on cd33 so tomorrow will be cd34 only 3-4 days late. I get waves of slight cramps and can't get enough water. I am also feeling slightly shakey like I haven't had enough food. I got normal AF symptoms, sore boobs and cramps. Now dull cramps. Will be dissappointed if this leads to a BFN but like you say whatever will be will be. Told my DH today that I am late and he has kept my feet on the ground by being very realistic which is good. Xx

misskgb Thu 27-Mar-14 23:48:14

I try not to read too much into my cramps as I get them with my bad kidneys all the time but I felt feint n queasy like I was gonna pass out or throw up. I was gonna wait til I was 4 days late but decided I could only cope with feeling so sick if I knew it was for a good reason!

Helen. It is hard advice to give and to take but it can and does take time. Even people who have never been on the pill can take time to get a bfp.

We know most docs don't test until you've been trying around a year so unless yours is very sensitive they may say its too early. I'd just relax, take it easy, enjoy dtd when/where/how ever u can n not worry about catching ov n plotting/tracking everything. I do honestly think a more enjoyable n relaxed approach is more positive xxx

Lolly84 Fri 28-Mar-14 06:57:23

It's almost that feeling misskgb especially when I come out the shower. Who knows?? Still not testing just yet...

helen just wanted to be sure on the message I sent. My advice is if you are worried about your body as in reproductive system from a health point of view I would ask for a scan. I wasn't ttc when I was having irregular bleeds so went from a point of view of being worried in general. It's frustrating as we don't really know what is really going on with our bodies especially with our womb and ovaries. The more I googled the more I got myself into a state. It kinda spiralled. If you can put it to one side and relax about ttc there will be no need. I am sure everything will be fine but only you know how you are really feeling.

I have always stuck to this thread as when I looked at it a few weeks before I started to comment I got a really good feeling about it. I sometimes look at other threads but feel like there is a bit of winding up going on. On this thread there is no one that has said to each other 'you are defo pregnant' or you are 'defo not pregnant' it has been more of a empathetic supportive chat.

mrshjb Fri 28-Mar-14 07:04:26

Morning ladies,

Thank you all so much for the awesome advice as usual. I think I'd let obsessive googling and that silly woman get under my skin. I had a chat to DH last night and we have decided we're going to keep dtd as often as possible etc, but we're going to accept that it could well take a year. If after the year I have no luck then I'll go to the doctors. I'm giving up on the OPKS because I really hate peeing in a cup every day. I'm going to keep on with the temping for a bit, because to be honest I find it quite interesting, but I'm not going to be look for any trends or anything for a good few months yet! I'm also not going to generally look through the threads like a used to. I'm just opening MN to go on this one and that's it! So keep chatty ladies smile

Lolly- I absolutely know what you mean. After last month and thinking I was going to get my BFP and then seeing countless bfns, I was absolutely gutted so I think I would be really nervous about taking a test as well. If I was you I'd probably give it until you're a week late and then test, because you know you're pretty much definitely going to get a true answer then. If you're not usually late then signs are looking good, but there are countless threads on here where people just end up being late. So for sanity I think you have to stay rational but keep everything crossed. Really hope it's your time.

Misskgb- so glad that everything looks alright at the doctors. Also really glad you didn't take my comment the wrong way. I typed and deleted it about 5 times before I posted it. I think as good as advice is from other people sometimes, you know your body the best and therefore if you don't think there's anything wrong, I think there's a good chance there probably isn't.

So pregnant ladies, who's finding out what their having when the time comes?!

mrshjb Fri 28-Mar-14 07:05:50

Argh ** they're having

weebairn Fri 28-Mar-14 07:06:17

It all sounds very promising Lolly!!

Lolly84 Fri 28-Mar-14 08:22:43

Ah thanks for you support ladies.

helen you sound like you are in a great place. I think you have said before you are always organised and pretty much in control. I feel
like that, it's frustrating you can't control this isn't it?

If I get a bfn I am going to continue my plans I did last month as I have been very happy and any emotional moments.

Good luck, must get to work lol x

Hazelbrowneyes Fri 28-Mar-14 10:19:55

Hi all,

I'm feeling blahhhhhh today. 7dpo and convinced it's not going to happen this month. I'm also feeling super guilty because I have consumed a ridiculous amount of alcohol this week and I spent last night unable to sleep thinking that if I'm not pregnant this month it'll be all my own fault.

I've resolved to have a dry April, no matter what. I'm trying for a baby, FFS - I need to cut out the booze.

No symptoms at all so now patiently awaiting the arrival of AF next week. I was going to test on Sunday but I'll only be 9dpo so I've decided that'll be a bit silly!

Who knew TTC would be such a rollercoaster from early on? I had great thoughts that I'd be really chilled over it all. Yeah, right! I also have visions of me being beautiful, serene and enjoying pregnancy - given the fact I can't do beautiful and serene now, I doubt I'll manage it when pregnant! grin

misskgb Fri 28-Mar-14 10:57:16

Hazel- it doesn't get much easier when you do get your bfp.....nerves, worry, is this ok, am i doing that right, keeping it a secret- it's like still being in the ttc whirlwind but with a different focus! I had half a bottle of wine two days before my bfp, the first time I'd drank between OV and AF due date. I think my more relaxed state that month helped so don't feel guilty about it- we still have lives to lead.

Helen- you sound really positive and that'd great- good on you. Don't be afraid to speak up to us or DH if you do have a baby crazy month or anything- it'll feel better if you talk about it. Enjoy dtd too! wink

So I always thought i'd wait for the baby to come before finding out but I just want to buy everything now!! Me and DH are thinking we might find out but (try) not to tell anyone. Two of my friends now know despite us saying we wouldn't tell anyone, so who knows how that will pan out. Best intentions and all that!

Lolly- when you do find the time to do it that's right for you, I have everything crossed it's the outcome you want (although I may not be able to keep everything crossed until the day you do it- they don't lie when they say you pee more when pg!!)

Hazelbrowneyes Fri 28-Mar-14 11:19:02

Thanks misskgb, that makes me feel better!

Thinking about it, I have had symptoms. Well, actually I don't know if they're symptoms but my body has been strange. Today my right nipple is achey, both nipples are quite red (well they were yesterday, I haven't checked today. I caught a look of myself in the mirror and was quite shocked at how red they were!) and my skin has itched like crazy for a few days. Woke up like it Tuesday morning and couldn't sleep Tuesday night as my legs were so itchy. It lasted until Thursday morning and now I'm fine again! I've also noticed cm and I've definitely felt "wet" especially at night. I'm really hot at night as well which is odd for me.

Still, no actual symptoms that scream "PREGNANT!" grin

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