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TTC after miscarriage

(14 Posts)
Sarah295 Tue 25-Feb-14 22:31:31

I miscarried at the end of Jan at 7 and a half weeks, blighted ovum. Bleed unbelievably heavily and scan showed that all pregnancy products passed but some blood remained. The nurse said that this would be expelled naturally and to wait a few months before trying again. There are so many conflicting stories about when you can try to conceive again. The miscarriage association even point out that most doctors say to wait until after your first period and that there is even evidence to suggest that you are less likely to miscarry again if you conceive within the first 6 months. I do not see how I can begin to get over our loss until I am pregnant again. Two weeks ago I could tell that I was ovulating and pregnancy test was negative - my body wa getting back on track. 2 weeks later I have started my period- it's heavy but nothing much worse than normal. What I want to know is whether or not I should even be thinking about trying again this month- I could not cope if it were to happen again but nor could I cope waiting to try and if we struggle to fall pregnant again I will drive myself crazy with regret for having not started again sooner. I know there is no answer to my predicament. I'm just looking for some support- I feel so lonely and scared.

Waggamamma Tue 25-Feb-14 22:40:17

So sorry you lost your babysad . The same thing happened to me in the summer. We started trying again after my first period after thr mc. My cycle went regular straight away. It took 6 cycles to conceive again and I have my 12wk scan this week.

Do what feels right for you. I wasn't able to 'get over' my loss until I was pregnant again. Those 6 months were a blur.

Sarah295 Tue 25-Feb-14 22:48:27

Thank you, congratulations on your pregnancy!! I just cannot imagine how hard those 6 months must have been- it amazes me how people cope - everything is out of out control so will just have to have faith x

miserywaterfall Tue 25-Feb-14 23:37:27

Hi sarah So sorry for your loss sad I miscarried at the end of January too and decided to ttc straight away. Do what feels right for you, I've heard that a lot of places mainly recommend waiting a cycle of two for dating purposes.

I know what you mean about wanting to be pregnant again, I feel the same so figured why bother waiting to ttc if we both felt ready to. So go with your heart. I've read plenty of success stories of women who fell pregnant a short time after a miscarriage, so let's hope we're with them smile

yummymango Wed 26-Feb-14 09:08:52

Hi Sarah. I also had a miscarriage at Christmas, I would have been 10 weeks. We decided to start trying straight away, my cycle came back to normal in January and I didn't fall pregnant in February but we will try again this month. I think the docs only say wait for a cycle so you can sure of dates. I have heard of many people falling pregnant straight away and with others it might take a while. I had a previous miscarriage whilst trying for my daughter in 2010 and it took a very long 8 months to fall pregnant after that. But I did go on to have the beautiful healthy 2 year-old that's running around the house right now. I think it is unlikely you would have another miscarriage straight away but it can happen so if you don't think you could cope then maybe it's better to wait a while. Sorry this has happened to you, it's such a horrible thing to go through x

polkadotdelight Wed 26-Feb-14 09:18:19

I'm so sorry you miscarried. It's the most gut wrenching sadness and not everyone understands. I had one period post miscarriage and then got pregnant straight away. Like you I felt the only way I could live with it was to try again but everyone is different. To be honest as thrilled as I am to be pregnant again I feel it's been tainted by my constant fear of another loss. Early scans were reassuring at the time but a week later I find myself wondering again - I'm not being ungrateful though. I wish you all the very best.

St4rfish Wed 26-Feb-14 20:51:13

Hi Sarah. So sorry you are going through this. Agree with the posts above that if your cycles seem back to normal and you feel ready, then go for it. However, in my experience (MMC at 12 weeks last May), it took a long time for my blood work to go back to normal (3 months) as I had retained products and a really bad time afterwards. We therefore waited 4 months to start trying again but heartbreakingly still no further forward; we have been trying for over 3 years now.

Interestingly, my acupuncturist told me recently that in Chinese medicine, a miscarriage is considered more of a major trauma for a woman than carrying a pregnancy to full term and that they would consider 6 months the minimum recovery time. I am still blood deficient according to her even 10 months on from my miscarriage (I am on nettle tea, kale juice and 2 spatone sachets a day to get my iron reserves up!)

Good luck, whatever you decide X

babytinks89 Wed 26-Feb-14 21:26:15

hi sarah sorry about your mc sad I mc mid november last year... no joy yet for me and been using opks etc and just no luck. I lost baby at 10 weeks, and was so hoping for a bfp this month suppose to be on cycle 3 although im cd39 with a bfn and no af.
it took med cd37 after mc for 1st cycle then cd34 2nd cycle now on cd39... I dont know whats going on its driving me insane!

our times will come im sure smile

Jenwoods Wed 26-Feb-14 22:06:46

So sorry to hear about your mc. I mc'd at 12 weeks in September, waited until my first period in October and started trying again after that. Desperate to fall pregnant but it's not happening yet. Trying not to stress about it as I know that doesn't help.

Good luck to everyone, just keep trying! xx

Sarah295 Wed 26-Feb-14 22:53:34

Thank you for all of your messages and support. I am happy that we've made the right decision to try again- I'm trying to be calm about it and not become obsessed but I honestly don't know how you all cope. I am finding work incredibly difficult. It's great to be busy an I have probably been more productive than ever in work since I've been back but I'm feeling so anxious- A few people know what happened- and they are all lovely and have been asking me how I am - I know I'm very lucky to work with them but I feel immense shame and anxiety when I see them - I feel awkward and uncomfortable- is this normal or am I being stupid? It's so bad that I can't see myself staying there for much longer.

Jenwoods Sat 01-Mar-14 23:34:14

I know this is such a common thing to say but time does help and things get easier. I would suggest not making any rash decisions about your work at this stage and peoples focus quickly enough start to turn to other things again taking the limelight off you. Then you can just focus on trying again and staying as positive as possible. You don't need the added stress of looking for another job at the same time. Big hugs xx

Snook99 Mon 03-Mar-14 07:57:57

I'm so sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage in December went to the doctors once it was confirmed and was told to wait one month and then continue trying, but he told me we are just as much as at risk as we was before the statistics are all the same (which is terrifying still) but you will get past this! Stay strong and look forward! It's hard but you sound like you have got a lots of good people around you! I'm now 3 months since my MC and waiting on my period again and getting faint positives! I want to get excited but still so scared at the same time! Xx

Laurak92 Mon 03-Mar-14 08:55:02

I'm sorry for your loss it's such a horrible thing to go through, I miscarried just before Christmas 2010 at 14 weeks. I had to have an operation to remove my baby because I couldn't miscarry naturally, due to me going through this I split with my partner, I now have another partner and we've been trying 2 years with no success yet, we've been for test after test and were both fine just to hope. It's always in the back of my mind I'll miscarry again. So I know what your going through. If you feel ready I'd say start trying as soon as you can just because you don't know how long it will take, have high hopes it will happen and you will have a healthy baby, try and stay positive with lots of support. Good luck x

teasleromani123 Mon 03-Mar-14 21:47:00

Hi Sarah, I'm in the same predicament, I MC in August last year at 12 weeks and then finally got caught again in December and I Miscarried on Tuesday, I really want another baby with my hubby, but same as you I don't know when to try again!
before I had my 2 MC's I had a premature baby at 28 weeks, so I am so scared to try again but I really want to, probs doesn't make sense but you know what I mean lol....

so your not alone smile

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