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We just don't 'feel' fertile - psychological block??

(7 Posts)
bakeroony Sun 09-Feb-14 16:57:08

Hey everyone

Just hoping for a few positive stories...and a kick up the backside for being ridiculous grin

DP and I have been discussing TTC and we haven't started seriously yet (no charting etc.) but something he said a few months ago has been bothering me. He says he wants DC but doesn't think of himself as being fertile - and I kind of know where he's coming from because I can't imagine getting pregnant naturally either. I'm in my late 20s and haven't always been very careful with contraception, yet never even been late on. There's no other medical reason why we can't conceive and my DM always fell pregnant in her first month of TTC. She was super-fertile throughout her 20s and I don't seem to be.

No other worrying symptoms except I read so much about infertility as part of my job, and DP reckons he's infertile because he is 'so lazy' (he's not, just a bit dopey) confused

Has anyone else had these thoughts while starting out TTC? Maybe I'm just terrified of the whole thing and that's why I can't imagine being able to make a wonderful little baby? And how did you adapt?

somedizzywhore1804 Sun 09-Feb-14 17:00:43

I felt the sane OP. Stories of my parents infertility were legendary- they tried for several years for me- and I never had a scare. When we started trying DH was very overweight and I just assumed I was infertile, as I had for years.

Got pregnant on 6th month of trying but first proper month of charting and doing it at the right time, after 12 yrs of hormonal contraceptives so that feeling was clearly bullshit.

miserywaterfall Sun 09-Feb-14 17:24:19

I can relate to this. I've been with my DH for 9 years and about 4 years ago we were dtd unprotected a lot, all through the month and my period was regular as clockwork and never once did it ever show up late, or did I ever have a hint of being pregnant. I used to think maybe he or I had some kind of fertility issue that we weren't aware of, but neither of us wanted babies so we were happy enough to let it alone.
Then November last year we had unprotected sex once and I fell pregnant. I honestly think a lot of it is just down to luck and timing, if you're not charting, etc.

basia2 Sun 09-Feb-14 19:26:12

I don't think anybody really "feels" fertile until they actually conceive.
It's just such a bizarre and preposterous thought: that your body can create another human being. You can know it theoretically- this is how people are made- without feeling in your gut like your particular bokdy would ever be able to do that.
It's why teenagers get pregnant by accident all the time!
Once you've conceived once- even if you should miscarry, heaven forbid- it is not so difficult to believe that your body can do it again (and again, and again).
In the case of conception, seeing (and feeling, and experiencing) is believing.

bakeroony Sun 09-Feb-14 19:39:32

Thanks everyone smile

basia2, that's such a big help...I just worry sometimes that I'll feel a bit alien to be doing something as mind-boggling as growing a baby.

Saraswati Sun 09-Feb-14 20:00:28

I feel like I could have written your message! We are on cycle 3 of trying, late twenties too and was always missing pills here and there when I was on it and didn't conceive. My DM always warned me that she was super fertile and I should be careful, my brother has 3 kids all easily conceived but I just don't feel like it will be that easy for me. Both me and DH have discussed our fears but we will just have to keep trying and see what happens. There's no reason we know of why we would be any less or more fertile than anyone else but I'm just scared that maybe I'm having a weird premonition of future problems?! Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels like this!!

I started charting mid cycle last month, this cycle is my first full cycle, and it has helped allay some fears. I can see that I ovulate and last month the temp dip warned me of AF, it's helped me feel a little more in control and at least I know I'm ovulating. Maybe it would help you too?

akachan Sun 09-Feb-14 20:41:48

I felt exactly like this! Especially as me and DH have been using withdrawal method for 6 years with not one accident.

Just got my BFP in month 3!

I now feel very strongly that it's impossible I'll carry to term - hopefully I'll be proven wrong about that too.

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