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ttc AT 37

(18 Posts)
lj77 Sat 08-Feb-14 16:35:56 to the site! had my first one at 30 and ttc (seriously every month for nearly six months now) but otherwise for a year and already heartbroken that things are not working out.tried OPK and had sex on all days of high and peak myself tested,everything is fine,dont smoke,dont drink..relatively active..cant figure out why??GP thinks its my age! and it could be unexplained infertility and nothing can be done.thought that was not at all helpful becoz i keep hearing about people on clomid etc....said she might refer to gynaec but nothing much can be done!says not eligible for IVF under nhs..
anyways will keep trying but anyone out there with similar story ?
really need some encouragement ladies...

Jinty64 Sat 08-Feb-14 21:50:14

Well, I conceived ds3 after 15 months of seriously trying when I was almost 42 so it does happen. I didn't have any investigations or treatment and had pretty much given up hope when it happened.

Wishing you good luck.

eurochick Sun 09-Feb-14 09:32:30

Has you OH been tested? It's as likely to be an ishoo with him as with you.

basia2 Sun 09-Feb-14 16:08:54

I had two sons in my teens. They are grown now; in fact, on has a child of his own.
I thought I was done, but at 38 (almost 39) I decide I wanted another child and I managed to conceive without any problems, even though it had been over 20 years since my last pregnancy.
It only took me three months of trying. The pregnancy was without complications, and the actual birth was the easiest one yet: only two hours of labor and not as painful as I remembered.
My son was born healthy and without any problems, and is now a healthy toddler.
My husband and I recently decided to try again (I want a girl), and we are planning to start this month, although I am now 41 and he is 42.

It is not necessarily difficult or dangerous to conceive at an older age, so don't worry too much. Trust your body. If you still have regular periods, chances are you'll manage it with no problems. Good luck.

OwlinaTree Sun 09-Feb-14 17:04:15

Took me 19 months at age 33. 2nd time 6 months at age 35.

Was told I had unexplained infertility too. I'm a month off giving birth now age 36, and I'm hoping to have another after this!

It is horrible playing the waiting game, I do sympathise, but don't give up hope yet.

lavendersgreen Sun 09-Feb-14 17:48:19

I was 40 when I had DD - it took us 25 months of trying though.

During those months I kept track of my ovulation dates, plotted my temperature every day etc...I'd given up hope (dr said it was my age).

Got to a point where I just stopped tracking the biology...and to my amazement I got pregnant within 4 weeks!!

But I clearly remember how heart breaking those fortnightly cycles of either waiting to ovulate or waiting for a result are.

Keep going lj, I sincerely wish you success.

basia2 Sun 09-Feb-14 18:38:05

Yeah, I never did any of that tracking or ovulation predicting, either. We just had sex every night or every other night during the two weeks in the middle of my cycle. Figured if we did it often enough, we couldn't miss!

duvetheaven Sun 09-Feb-14 20:30:23

How about trying acupuncture? I had two mc's and then conceived age 37 after trying acupuncture. I am now aged 43 and have recently conceived twice , both times in the first month but unfortunately resulted in mc. As for age, apparently health is also important although you sound like you are in good health. I have been using the Clearblue FM. I would push your GP to refer you to the gynae. Good luck x

lj77 Mon 10-Feb-14 10:54:07

thanks everybody for pitching in to pep me up!i really hope it works bcoz i am really desperate and it hurts more everytime i get my period.My first one was unplanned and happened right away at 29 and delivered at 30.all me friends say,i should just chuck the OPKs and relax and have sex as much as possible but i cant stop myself doing opks as i am scared that I will miss my ovulation days..hub getting tested next bloods were tested and all normal.have a reg 30 day cycle.i dont know what more a gynaec can do.any idea if the Gp can do anymore tests at this stage other than bloods and semen analysis.

allchatnicknamesgone Mon 10-Feb-14 11:11:41


I'm very similar to you. I had my first when I was 29. Now very nearly 35 and going into my 9th cycle. I am text book 28 days and ovulate in the middle and I've had bloods and internal scan so all looking normal. DP also been tested and he's normal.

Last month I know I did it the right days, because even though I've stopped doing opk's, my scan was just after I ovulated and she confirmed that. So this month has hit me really hard. Full day of crying on CD1 which has never really happened before. It's that 2 week wait. I go out of my mind. It doesn't help that my AF cramps start about 10 days before AF turning up.

It's just heart breaking and the thought of it going on for months and months scares me. I'm trying to be positive, but I feel like it's the impossible. I've just called a reflexologist though who specialises in fertility and although I've never done stuff like that before, I feel that biology wise everything seems to be normal, so maybe I should try an alternative route.

Like I said I don't do opk's and I think that helps take the pressure off a little and I've taught myself to never test early. My AF always shows up on time though, so I don't have the horrible few days of not knowing that some women on here go through.

Our time will come. x

lj77 Mon 10-Feb-14 11:41:45

hiya...allchatnicknamesgone..hope our time will did you manage to get a scan you have to ask for it and when do they recommend one?my GP was not very helpful.she said since I had one child already,there shouldnt be anything wrong with me!is that how it works..also is it true you dont get IVF under nhs if you have one child naturally??

duvetheaven Mon 10-Feb-14 12:56:09

lj77 - as for your gp saying you have one child so there shouldn't be anything 'wrong'. That is definitely not the case necessarily! I think it is lazy for GP's to say that. I am in a slightly different situation due to having a number of mc's and my gp also said something similar to me as I have one healthy child. Due to my age I am now going down the private route for testing as am past 40. I don't know about the IVF route.

naty1 Mon 10-Feb-14 13:48:25

Worth checking the hfea website they have links to how to find out whether ivf is covered by your trust.
I believe generally not covered if either of you already has a child but could be wrong.
But maybe clomid might be covered (but may not be helpful if you are already ovulating)

allchatnicknamesgone Tue 11-Feb-14 09:49:12

Change your doctor. You need someone that will give you support. Having one child does not take away the desire or need for more. In fact I sometimes well up with tears when I think about how much I loved having my daughter. She is also desperate for a sibling and adds a lot of pressure (asks DP to kiss my tummy regular to make a baby etc - that is bloody hard!). Also, not sure how old your child is, but everyones fertility can change over their life span. Silly comment for a doctor to make.

In answer to your question about the docs, I just went to see mine and explained everything and talked about my cycles and she just said let's see if everything is working ok. I found her quite sympathetic and said that it was getting harder every month and she was very encouraging. I went on CD1 so I was lucky enough to have both sets of bloods last cycle. The scan came through within 2 weeks also, so managed to get that done quickly. Because my cycles were regular, she didn't expect to see cysts etc, but it was a great relief to find out from the sonogramer that I had ovulated when I thought I did.

I know I do not qualify for ivf because I already have a 5 year old (with the same partner btw). He got checked also, which is very easy and quick and he came back normal.

Not sure what the next steps are and I'm going to talk to docs on Thurs.

I am going to reflexology for fertility tonight, because even though I'm not really into things like that I need to do something different / positive. Also, I think trying for a baby is quite a lonely time and I think it will be quite therapeutic to feel like someone is concentrating their efforts on helping me. DP is great, but I try not to go on too much as he's already under pressure. Although he thinks this cycle he will be a lot better because he's had a normal sperm result!

lj77 Tue 11-Feb-14 13:52:32

i am so going through the same stuff.have a 6 yr old girl who is as desperate as I am for a sibling/baby come into her life and thats why it feels even more bad!May b I should try relfloxology...let me know how you getting on with that.
as far as GP is concerned,i think i have to wait and see really.after DP gets tested,i will go in again and see another one.I was asked to do the day 21 blood tests for all the hormones which came out okHow would I know if I am ovulating every month??

allchatnicknamesgone Tue 11-Feb-14 15:05:19

Did you do a 2/3 day blood test too? The blood tests will tell you if you are ovulating. The scan I had was checking for cysts and fibroids, but I asked her specifically if she could tell if I ovulated because it was the end of my fertile week.

There is no way of knowing if you are ovulating every month. Many people have anovulation, but I wouldn't worry unduly about it.

My partner didn't see the same doctor and we have separate surnames, so my tests were completely independent, so I don't see why you need to wait for your DP's results if you want to go back.

I'm going to reflexology tonight. Had it once before and I did find it relaxing but it did bugger all. Slightly concerned it may be little use to me, because they sent me a fact sheet about improving fertility through lifestyle and food and although I consider myself as pretty healthy at the moment, this fact sheet was all about organic and less meat and cut down on this and that. I've always been of the school of thought that yes, you should be healthy to conceive, but you don't need to drastically change your life until you are actually pregnant. i'm just going to keep quiet and nod though as I don't want to piss her off!

lj77 Tue 11-Feb-14 15:23:27

I had only one set of blood tests and that too on day 21.i have had high and peak fertility with clear blue digital so I am assuming I am ovulating.
My GP just flatly refused to do anything till my DH gets his tests done saying no point checking you out if some thing is wrong with him..but I am just annoyed with time lapse...cycles are passing so quickly and I don't want to hear they something is wrong after six months...
I went to see GP in nov and was given the blood test to be done on day21 and both nov and dec ,my cd 21 fell in the weekend Jan it fell on a weekday I feel I have already lost 3 months!

allchatnicknamesgone Tue 11-Feb-14 15:50:23

How can the doctor say that? The tests on you and him should be done at roughly the same time. What if they find out he does have an issue, but then you also have an issue? Are they saying they won't test you if he comes back and they have found an issue. There is no sense to your GPs argument. It is a practise? Just go and see another GP within the same practise.

Are you cycles regular?

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