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TTC no 3? Anyone just started / about to start / about to start thinking about it?

(462 Posts)
bonzo77 Wed 06-Nov-13 14:59:00

I am absolutely not going to go nuts about it this time like I did for no 2. Because my kids have each other and won't be alone looking after their ancient parents in years to come. But a 3rd would be a bonus. And part of me doesn't care either way, and another part cannot wait for a lovely little snuggly new born. And part of me is enjoying getting my nights back, and my body, and is worried about the money, the lack of bedrooms, the need for a bigger car, having another miscarriage, or high risk pregnancy, a 3rd CS, a baby in intensive care. But then 5 months of no contraception and nothings happening..... The baby is 11 months, and we said we'd start putting more effort in once he is 1....

Anyone in the same boat? Want to hang out and worry / pretend not to worry?

sj257 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:17:47

We are kind of not trying but not preventing at the moment if that makes sense.

Also worried about car and money but hey ho!

How old are your children? Mine are 7 & 5.5, my problem at the moment is that I'm in my second year of uni but I really don't want to end up with a huge age gap (gap between my two is 17 months!) so I've come off the pill now and I suppose we will see what happens! It didn't take me long to get pregnant the last two times but conscious that it could do this time.

bonzo77 Fri 08-Nov-13 10:15:18

Hi! Mine are 3.8 and 11 months. I got pregnant really easily with DS1. Then started trying when he was 1. Got pg after 7 months but lost it at 12 weeks. Then pg after 4 months and DS2 born 1month early as he wasn't doing well and my placenta had packed up.

I'm definitely conscious that at 36 my age is not in my favour. We've been doing the "not trying but not not trying" thing for the last few months, but as of this month I've been charting, and when AF comes I think I'll get some ovulation tests.

Wrt to work and uni, and everything I suppose, there's never a good time. I think one just has to commit, and then do the best you can. There was a woman in the year above me at uni who timed her pregnancies so she managed to have one baby in the summer of her 3rd year and another just after finals (5 year course). So it can be done! Admittedly she was probably 21/22 when she had her first, so that does help, getting pg easier and having the energy to do so much at one time.

Your gap sounds like a good one, in that the older ones are settled in school, out of nappies etc. but then going back to nappies and night feeds will be more of a shock than it must of been with your second. Do you still have lots of baby stuff or will you have to start again with that?

Cakecrumbsinmybra Sat 09-Nov-13 16:25:20

Um, yep! Haven't used contraception since May and have been timing things right since August... And typically, since May my periods have been a bit irregular - couple of 34 day cycles, which got me thinking I might be pg. Now I'm wondering if I'm starting to become perimenopausal instead! We said we would be really relaxed about it and not stress, just let nature take it's course - I'm starting to think it might not happen for us tbh.

I have 2 DS - 7 and 3. Pg v quickly with DS1. DS2 took a little longer but only a few months, had early m/c, then fell immediately pg again.

Part of me still wants to get pg. The other part of me thinks it might be a blessing in disguise if I don't. DS2 still doesn't sleep through properly. We're just starting to travel more, do more fun things together. A 4 year age gap is hard enough, without adding another 4 year gap!! I'm starting to yearn for a career too as I've not worked at all for 4 years now. I'd have to have a CS (well, I'd be strongly pushing for one, excuse the pun) due to previous experiences.

bonzo77 Sun 10-Nov-13 00:34:25

cakecrumbs weirdly my periods have been a bit irregular too. 29-34 days between them. My chart is all over the place. I've just started the b6, which definitely helped after the miscarriage. So much for letting nature take its course!

Alamaya Sun 10-Nov-13 10:08:19

I will join tooo smile
I have a 2.5 year old who is the product of 8 years ttc and eventually ICSI
I have a 1 year old natural surprise who sadly has a genetic condition.

We are ttc no3 sadly knowing we will have to prenatal test for this condition as we have found out we are carriers. So not only do I need things to be quick and hope no ivf needed it is a nasty hard journey to get pregnant and have to terminate if it has it. We cant afford genetic ivf. We are considering donor iui next year xx

ttc 6 months for no3 so far xx

bonzo77 Sun 10-Nov-13 16:47:33

alamaya you sound like you have had a long and difficult journey that is far from over. I assume you have done a lot of research already. DH's cousin and his DW have been through genetic IVF and have 3, a DD and then twin DD and DS. I know they had their first NHS when it was experimental, not sure about the others. It was done at UCH, London.

By the time once TTC no 3 one is older I suppose, so things take longer. And wiser, so potentially more anxious. Are we all a little nuts? It's certainly not going to get any easier!

Does anyone know about charting?

OrangeFizz99 Sun 10-Nov-13 23:20:23

I am 11 dpo on first proper cycle of ttc no 3. Two dc - 3.7 and 20 months.

Trying not to symptom spot or get all weird about it (like I did with no 2 as well op!).

Big work stuff coming up for next year so not great timing!

I do the basic ff charting so I know my dates. Do watch my cm a bit and like ops. Have never done temping.

bonzo77 Mon 11-Nov-13 08:13:01

Welcome orange. No such thing as the "right time" I think.

Was more a temping question really, I might start another thread on it. Basically, I can see the thermal shift but FF is not adding the red lines. I'm sure it's because the time I take my temp varies a bit, depending on when the baby wakes up. And I've missed a couple of days. Going to have to be more strict assuming no BFB this month.

ELR Mon 11-Nov-13 19:17:10

Hi all, ttc no 3 at the moment this is cycle 4 not temping or using opk so just guess work!
Dd is 11 and ds is 8 fell pregnant cycle 1 with both but I'm 36 now so not so easy. Thing I'm finding the hardest is finding the time and inclination to actually dtd!
Good luck everyone

bonzo77 Mon 11-Nov-13 20:44:42

Hi elr. Yes, we have the time (we can both be super quick) blush but lacking the inclination. Masterchef is too appealing!

ELR Mon 11-Nov-13 20:52:49

Ha ha our problem is DH likes to take his time by which time I'm starting to think I romantic thoughts about ovulation ect ect!

dines Tue 12-Nov-13 18:54:19

iv been ttc since end of august and I just had two positive tests grin

dines Tue 12-Nov-13 18:54:36

this is baby no3

Cakecrumbsinmybra Tue 12-Nov-13 19:30:53

Congrats dines. bonzo, isn't it just typical re: irregular periods?? I was completely regular until we decided to ditch contraception (and wasn't on pill or anything so nothing to do with that). I don't think I'm going to start temping - for me the OV sticks have been completely accurate, ie I know I'm ovulating the day following the dark line. Alamaya, how amazing that you tried for so long, then fell pg with your 2nd! Good luck. ELR, yes it can be a bit of a chore sometimes!!

bonzo77 Tue 12-Nov-13 20:12:46

Congratulations dines envy

ELR Tue 12-Nov-13 20:51:29

Congrats dines!

sj257 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:54:14

Going back to nappies and night feeds would definitely be a shock, but then I'm one of those young whipper snappers ;) I had my first at 19 and second at 21, so am still only 26, can't imagine never having another baby and would rather it was sooner rather than later ;).

I'm starting to panic now as I've been off the pill for a month now and no signs of a period.

sj257 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:54:33

ooh and congratulations dines x

bonzo77 Wed 13-Nov-13 22:46:21

sj I wondered where my period went when I came off the pill. Turned out I was pg with DS1! Go on. POAS!!

bonzo77 Wed 13-Nov-13 22:53:23

cake how irregular till we can go to the dr? I hate my GP and am about to move.

After I got pg with DS2 I gave all my OPKs and pg tests to a friend. She's had her baby 2 months ago and had just posted the left over ones back to me. They could be a super lucky batch if i get another baby out of them! Actually, strictly speaking it might be a 4th as I I was using them when I got pg with the one I mc'd.

Anybody else get pains mid cycle? Sharp and stabby, occasionally more nagging. I know it's something to do with ovulation, but it seems to go on for at least 2 weeks on and off. I'm struggling with temping ATM or I'd have a better idea of what's going on.

Cakecrumbsinmybra Thu 14-Nov-13 11:26:03

I don't know when to go to GP, but my mum did have a relatively early menopause, so I guess I should - I think there is a test that they do to check if you are perimenopausal? And they would want to rule out other, more sinister things too I guess. If you're about to move then you may as well wait.

I always get mid-month pains when I ovulate - always have. And ridiculously bloated. Spots.

I don't feel like anything is happening either this month. I'm 8 dpo. With DS1 I definitely knew almost immediately. With the m/c and DS2 I can't say I definitely knew until I p'd oas. The only thing I've noticed is that I've had a bit of a dodgy stomach all week, but that's neither here nor there!!

bonzo77 Thu 14-Nov-13 21:03:19

I think the test for menopause is for AMH, or that might be for your egg reserve. Dunno.

My cycle only varies by about 5 days, so not like women with polycystic ovaries. Less regular than between DS1 and mc, and I cannot compare with between mc and DS2 as that was only 4 cycles, including the one that started with the ercp.

My skin is pretty ok, I think my reward for having hideous acne and then roaccutane in my 20's. I definitely get the bloating. Actually, my mid cycle discomfort is worse than my (mild) pms and period itself. Weird.

With ds1 and the mc I had no idea I was pg till I POAS. With DS2 I tested at 11 dpo as I felt so sick for a couple of days. I'm having lots of nausea in the mornings at the moment, but I think it's tiredness, rushing about and not eating / drinking enough. Too early to be pregnancy related. Apparently progesterone can cause it, which is the predominant hormone post ovulation anyway. It's a terrible tease!

Anyone else a bit apprehensive about the practicalities of morning sickness, a million appointments and then new born sleep deprivation with 2 other kids to look after? Part of me hopes I don't get pg till the summer so at least DS1 will be in school in September!

2lilgirls Sat 16-Nov-13 14:07:12

I haven't been on here in a few months but there was another no. 3 thread, I can't find it now.

I have 2 dd's and ttc since last June. I hate hate complaining when I have 2 fabulous girls but I am so fed up with it all. I know it's only 5 months but I think about it every day.

No 2 took a year so I know I could have a long wait yet, that's the hard part.

This is the first month that I didn't obsess, didnt take vitamins, didn't have a particular DTD plan etc etc. I did use an opk once when I suspected I was ovulating and that was positive, exactly 2 weeks ago which means my period is due either today or tomorrow. No sign of it just yet but I had the usual cramps last night so it can't be far away. I can't bear the disappointment of a bfn, that and the fact that I must have used 5 tests last month and spent hours looking for lines and generally going crazy blush So I decided not to test this month.

Good luck to you all. It's nice to have see others in the same situation and I don't feel right moaning on other threads when some people are having difficulty ttc #1 and #2.

I'll update when AF arrives. I can't even let myself imagine that it won't sad

bonzo77 Sat 16-Nov-13 16:55:18

Hi 2lil. I know what you mean. It seems daft to moan about ttc when one already has done it and succeeded twice.

I'm on CD28 now. AF could come any time from now, but not officially "late" till Wednesday really, due to aforementioned irregular cycle. More waiting!

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