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Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

(1000 Posts)
ZingWantsCake Wed 04-Sep-13 21:42:54

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Bearfacedchic Mon 30-Sep-13 21:16:15

Oh sorry! My phone didn't load the new messages on here. Minion- hope you are okay? Thinking of you.

Nessalina Mon 30-Sep-13 22:01:08

Hope you've had some good news Minion, all the best to you & family, nothing worse than waiting for that sort of thing to be sorted sad

Minion Tue 01-Oct-13 08:13:34

Morning ladies,
Well dad called last night, he sounded chipper, he has to go for an MRI tonight cause it's better than X-ray and he should get test results Thursday, but I'm in Vegas so that'll be hard for him.
Said doc is only doing it cause the white spot has got only marginally bigger since last X-ray in 2011.
I'm hoping it's just scar tissue from precious infection, even pneumonia would be preferable.
Thing is he doesn't look after himself enough. He tried quitting smoking endless times, he's back on them and the bloody man won't go to see a doc when he is poorly. On when it gets too late to fix the original problem does he go!
Thank you for the PMA and wishes girls, it's really very much appreciated xxx

So, in other news, got a few crampy type or wind type musings in belly last night. Sore nips still. Still feel sick and I'm now on 11dpo! Looky get a move on ERTD if you're coming, show yourself!!!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 09:16:05

Fx for your Dad Minion. Hope it's something straightforward. My Dad is the same, won't look after himself, says there is no point, when your time is up there is nothing you can do about it. Can't be bothered to argue with him anymore. When he cooks a fry up he pours the fat from the pan onto everything on his plate. Yak!

ERTD is here. I fecking hate her. So now I'm on cycle 11. Scarily close to that 12 month mark. Feeling fucked off that DH still thinks this is just going to 'happen' and he doesn't get that if it doesn't in the next few weeks I'm going to have to have some surgical intervention which I really would love to avoid if poss. Trying not to think about it really. I'm going to have to make a frigging appointment to have a convo with him about it he is so busy with work atm. Sorry to grizzle at you all. I just feel a bit poo.

Bear I LOVE youtube. My sister is living in Oz and we communicate mainly by sending each other stupid Youtube clips. grin

cookie how are you doing? Hope you are ok.

Happy tuesdays one and all. x

Minion Tue 01-Oct-13 09:35:40

I feel your pain essie.
Husband still is very blasé about it here, too. 'oh love, don't worry it'll happen etc etc', the ultimate head in sand scenario. What he doesn't seem to get is that if you're not pg within the first year of serious trying then its actually encouraged to go to docs to start investigations.
Again I'll say it... Men!!!
He doesn't get that since I came off the pill in jan that we are no closer to doing it than we ever were. It's been nearly a year, you'd think he'd be a bit more anxious about it.
Thrice for good measure...
All together now....


EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 10:38:36

Thanks Minion. Sorry to whinge.

I guess, a mans contribution to the whole process of actually making a baby is quite simple, a shag (or several thousand in our cases), and when that bit is successful, they can carry on as normal. So when you ask for more than that, and expect it to use up a bit of headspace, in the case of my DH at least, he just goes into his man cave. We are not helped at the moment by the fact his work is very demanding and he spends all his time thinking about flipping data, though the trips away from home are less at the moment for which I am grateful. I want to do the SMEP for these next two precious cycles, but there is no way atm because that would mean us TALKING about it and him having to actually do more than just nod. Perhaps we need to agree that we will do the SMEP, I will work it all out, write it on the calendar, pee on sticks etc, stick my legs in the air, and then just tell him when he needs to shag me. He could consent to that with just nodding!

I do envy both our DHs ability to remain so optimistic though!

Sorry, I'm off again. It does make me feel better though. grin

cookielove Tue 01-Oct-13 11:25:04

Hello all, I'm doing well just resting now. Got my s2b sil with me today. As dh couldn't take another day off! Luckily only have light bleeding and no cramps. Eating well to smile when I took the pad off it looked epic blush bright red blood everywhere!

Minion - hope your dad is doing well. I thought that you should test on cd 12.

Minion Tue 01-Oct-13 11:34:05

Whinge away essie Whinge away!
I'll join you.

Hi cookie, glad sil is with you, hopefully pouring you lots of gin and eating cakes x

Yes I reckoned I was too early, was with the girls for lunch and they wanted to a friends moment, when they trick Rachel when she does a test 'well, that's a risky little game', sadly the bfn didn't allow for that haha x

cookielove Tue 01-Oct-13 12:12:03

I feel I've been me me me all this week, but I've been following this thread for months now and promise been reading every ones progress! So I forget to write to other people. But I will do soon promise!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 12:15:53

Thanks, sorry to be a whingey mingey.

Ha, I love that friends episode. Went to see About Time at the cinema last night (get me, twice to the cinema in less than a week!), it was actually really good. Love Bill Nighey (or however you spell him), v funny.

cookie, glad to hear you are home resting and being looked after. flowers cake brew for you. xx

EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 12:17:08

x posted cookie. You are allowed a bit of me me me at times like this. Don't beat yourself up! Love x

DulcetMoans Tue 01-Oct-13 12:33:46

Oh dear. It's all got a little sad around here. Sorry everyone is having a crappy time. I think the journey into winter makes things seem worse too.

Glad you have someone with you cookie, take the opportunity to rest and be looked after.

Men are a nightmare but I think they are also trying to be optimistic for us. Despite over a year of trying, a trip to the doctors and a pot for a SA my DH is still hoping it will just happen. I'm not saying it won't, but I sometimes wish he took it more seriously. Then again, whats the point in us both fretting over it?

EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 15:50:10

You are wise Dulcet, there is no point in anyone fretting over it really. Just can't help myself sometimes. I was doing quite well not being a crazed ttc-er too til the frigging mutilated cervix diagnosis.

We need some good news round these parts. Doesn't have to be ttc related either.... though that sort of news would be awesome.

I'm making sloe gin tonight, which is quite exciting, though obviously it won't be ready for a while, which is fine as I've still got a bit of last years to get though. wine

AuntieMaggie Tue 01-Oct-13 15:52:10

Hello lovelies smile

Hope you're ok cookie flowers Fx for your dad minion my dad's the same... "men"

DP is also laid back about the whole baby thing. Typical that he's spent years moaning when I'm not in the mood and now he's not in the mood when he should be! Essie I'm going to try smep this month... just wait til I tell him what that involves hmm

Yesterday my bleeding stopped and I thought I'd got away lightly this month with only one day of heavy bleeding and no pain... nope back with a vengeance today - bastard angry

Anyway good luck everyone still not 'out'

pizzaqueen Tue 01-Oct-13 16:49:11

is the pity pool big enough for one more?

A lady I work with (although she works at another organisation) announced she's pregnant today pretty obvious with her big bump and she has the same due date as I would have had with the baby I miscarried. It totally floored me that that's how big my bump should be by now. But I had to be all smiles and congratulations whilst she chatted excitedly about finishing up for mat leave at xmas.sad

6-7dpo here nothing to report on that front.

EssiesInvisibleLlama Tue 01-Oct-13 17:04:18

oh pizza, I'm sorry. Thats so shitty. sad

Maggie sorry to hear your ERTD is a bad one.

I am pleased to announce I have arranged an underwater sound system to be installed in the pity pool so we can listen to the Boob while fully submerged.

lil1ady Tue 01-Oct-13 20:11:28

if any one wants me I'll be in the pity jacuzzi. works shit everyone in rl has baby's or is pg but me and I can't be added any more. and dh just showed me someone's scan they've put in fb today knowing I'm feeling shit. so yes "MEN"

AuntieMaggie Tue 01-Oct-13 20:59:00

Aww Pizza i'm sorry sad

lil i'm sending you a hug. i'm sorry you're feeling shit. sad

lil1ady Tue 01-Oct-13 23:12:17

thanks Maggie I've calmed down a bit now blush . sorry the witch is giving u a hard time. hope she packs soon

pizza hope u r feeling better. not sure how you vsmiled through that

EssiesInvisibleLlama Wed 02-Oct-13 09:45:21

Sorry to hear that lil. Hope you are ok, and everyone else too having a shite week.

It's hump day! grin

Anyone watching The Wrong Mens? DH is watching it, I can't get into it, just don't really see the point in it? It's a bit weird!

CD3 here. First blood test tomorrow. How long does it take for results to come back?

DulcetMoans Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:26

Good question essie, I've had mine sets taken during Sept but haven't arranged to go back and get the results yet. Any one any ideas how long it takes?

DulcetMoans Wed 02-Oct-13 12:52:11

Sorry to double post, but I thought this would cheer people up and had to share.

Am driving for work and just spent some time behind a lorry branded 'BFP Wholesale' with the tag line 'all the right ingredients'. It's a bakery company too! It's got to be a sign, right?!

fifi669 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:41:21

Just heard my friend is 5 weeks gone with her honeymoon baby. Sigh. I'm happy for her bit it was my turn first! I'm friends with her sister too who is in the middle of investigations as she's been trying for 14 months now, god knows how she must be feeling.

I think my cycle must have lengthened, my app says I was due on yesterday but nothing as if yet. Had cramps etc on cue. BFN when I last tested. Suppose on the bright side it means my literal phase is a good two weeks.... Would like something to show for it though.

God we need some good news! Anyone know a joke? apart from my uterus

EssiesInvisibleLlama Wed 02-Oct-13 14:26:20

Dulcet, thats definitely a sign! Lets hope we get some wholesale BFPs around here soon!

Fifi, I saw a friend last night, she was upset cos she got back from her honeymoon 2 weeks ago and was tearful cos she just got her ERTD and it was their first try. I was gentle with her but it was a huge effort!

Fx for you that ERTD doesn't show and you get the next BFP.

Hmmm. A joke. Can't think of one I'm afraid, except our uteruses got me thinking, whats the plural for that? Uteri?

fifi669 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:27:47

Just checked it is indeed uteri....

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