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DH finding it hard to DTD now we are TTC, advice girls??

(12 Posts)
onefunkymama Mon 02-Sep-13 09:56:22

DH is finding it harder and harder to DTD fully (ahem if you get my drift) We've never had this problem before TTC. It seems to be performance related anxiety.... Any ideas what we can do?

armsandtheman Mon 02-Sep-13 10:20:03

Try to make it fun. Some new clothes and nice dinner to set the tone then have fun! Also try to dtd when you are not ovulating to try to make it more part of normal life. I think the more you can be in the moment the better!

If he really has problems a small sterile syringe can be used but a lot less romantic!

fifi669 Mon 02-Sep-13 10:30:35

I agree with arms dtd all month round and if possible try not to let on when you've oving. DP couldn't perform his duties for a whole week back along due to the pressure.

KoalaFace Mon 02-Sep-13 11:00:33

Agree with fifi. I never told DH when I was ovulating and I would 'mix it up' with other erm "activities" other than penetrative sex so that it didn't become the only time we were intimate was for "baby making purposes". Its important you both feel that sex is is for you and your relationship not just for conceiving.

onefunkymama Mon 02-Sep-13 14:16:39

Good idea Koala, mixing it up sounds like a good idea. I'll give that a try. I agree it needs to be for us as well as for baby making too.

brettgirl2 Mon 02-Sep-13 19:03:49

We had this. .. We put dh on organic meat/ milk (the stuff in non organic can apparently reduce testosterone and male conception vitamins.

We then dtd every other day at the most, never every day as consecutive days this was more likely to happen.

I got pregnant after 7 months second time round (1st time we didn't actually ttc as such).

EsmereldaBelle Tue 03-Sep-13 00:30:20

Like others have said just keep it fun and not too regimented. As long as your having sex regularly (every 2-3 days) there is no need to set exact times and dates or expect Dtd everyday. Try and make it playful and exciting, it's a great time in your relationship. Best of luck to you!!!! thanks

onefunkymama Tue 03-Sep-13 07:45:15

Thank you ladies. He seemed to have fun with something new yesterday and it boosted his confidence toomwink

EsmereldaBelle Tue 03-Sep-13 11:43:29

Glad you had a good night winkwine

helsbells2609 Mon 09-Sep-13 12:26:31

I have just started TTC and promised my OH to be relaxed about it all until Christmas and see what happens. I can tell pretty well when I am ovulating and have to try and seduce him around that time without seeming like I am seducing him or he will realise I am ovulating!! It doesn't help that we only generally DTD about once a week I honestly don't think we could do it any more often without it becoming a 'chore'!!!

Writerwannabe83 Mon 09-Sep-13 13:29:20

I understand that Hellsbells! Me and my husband didn't have the most active sex life so having to do it regularly for DTD purposes felt very strange!! I didn't want to turn it into a chore but its difficult when you know you are doing something different to your normal pattern and doing it for a specific reason!!

Good luck to you all x x

internationallove985 Mon 09-Sep-13 19:45:26

I know it's a clique to say it but it's all about relaxation. I refuse to see sex as a chore fun and if I'm blessed with another baby then that's fantastic but if I'm not at least I have my D.D.
However I must be honest after D.T.D this afternoon I find myself thinking now. I could have a new life inside me. xx

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