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The BESH bush is severely overgrown and in need of some serious TLC preferably by a tall dark and handsome topless man with a can of diet coke in his hand.

(1000 Posts)
OhBuggerMe Fri 19-Jul-13 09:14:17

Are you over 30?
Have you been ttc for over 12 months?
Are you hag like?
Do you like gin?

If the answer to all of the above is yes then this is the place for you. Seek out the BESHtionairre and submit it for our pleasure perusal.

Baby dusters and instadiffers need not apply.

<gets out bush for inspection>

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Jul-13 09:21:10

I have been known to make HOTB pose with a diet coke. Shallow, moi? grin

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 19-Jul-13 09:51:29

Sod having the bush trimmed, just give me a diet coke.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Jul-13 10:25:58

Pleased to kick the new thread off on a positive note. There is an actual baybee in my tum tum and it's got a heart n' everything grin

<cries with relief>

KeepTheFaithBaby Fri 19-Jul-13 10:28:09

Hooray grin Flipping awesome Frank! Well done tiny baybee!

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 19-Jul-13 10:30:42

Dusty in here innit? I seem to have something in my eyes.. <sobs slightly with pleasure for frank>

KeepTheFaithBaby Fri 19-Jul-13 10:43:03

<sniffs> er, yeah. Mine is erm, hayfever?!

CaptainMoll Fri 19-Jul-13 10:45:08

Yippee! Phew! Yippee! Gin! Phew! Yippee!

(A friend of mine with mad landlords has a large hedge in the front garden. It never got trimmed by the mad landlords, and one day my friend had to listen seriously whilst a neighbour complained at length about her front bush. She kept saying " your front bush is out of control. I'm complaining to the council about your front bush" etc.)

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Jul-13 10:49:44

Hooray, Frank! grin grin grin

And <cackle> at Moll grin

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Jul-13 10:54:07

Aww, you guys blush Fish slaps and gin all round!

We're going to go to the cinema this afternoon to just chill out, we've just booked to see The World's End so that should be fun.

SinkyMalinks Fri 19-Jul-13 11:22:22


lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 19-Jul-13 12:55:54

Hurrah for the baybee with heart beat and all, enjoy the cinema frankie. And arf at moll.

CaptainMoll Fri 19-Jul-13 14:16:50

BE has just told me that for ages when I mentioned talking to my gang of online fellow barrens, he thought I was saying barons..

Nokkie73 Fri 19-Jul-13 14:33:25

cap'n tell him that we're international fish smugglers (Barramundi Barons) who show no mercy to instadiffers or those ballsacks who throw fucking baby dust everywhere.

frank how blooming marvellous. Hurrah for baybee Frank.

driz I have gorn and lost the old Fred. Did you have something going dahn tomorrow, as we say in ThatThere London. I am sure you did (like something important. blush

slinks I said it on the other Fred but con bloody gratulations again grin

Hello to all you other gawjus BESHies. I have just made 96 cupcakes. Fuck the gods, that was hard.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 19-Jul-13 15:47:37

96 Nokks?! Blimey, are you hungry? wink

CaptainMoll Fri 19-Jul-13 16:10:43

<hops on bus to Noks place for cake binge>

Ballsack is just best insult isn't it?
Next week I will use the sentence "Jog on, you ballsack" if anyone displeases me.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 19-Jul-13 16:36:08

Where is the cake fest? Can I come too? I like ball sack a lot... Can I use it too next week, or maybe this weekend already?

What are the haggish plans for the weekend? Frank will be engaged in staring the peanut picture, nokkie is cake binging, but the rest of you? My only fixed engagement is picking up our embie tomorrow smile

SinkyMalinks Fri 19-Jul-13 17:02:14

Ooh Driz. Will you give us minute by minute updates?

Managed to wrangle a scan at work. Bit of an anticlimax. There is something there, but early. Can't say much more. Back in 10 days.

But that's good news right?

OhBuggerMe Fri 19-Jul-13 17:04:50

Will be thinking of you tomorrow driz let ysus know how you get on.

As for insults I like: fuckwit, long streak of witch piss, and nob jockey.

This afternoon I have done all the housework, 4 loads of washing, painted the fence and gate and made a bannana loaf. I am now covered in fence stain waiting for the shower curtain to finish in the washing machine so I can have a wash!

SinkyMalinks Fri 19-Jul-13 17:11:39

Cunt badger.

Is an insult I like.

OhBuggerMe Fri 19-Jul-13 17:13:00

Yes sinks that is very good news. You are releasing enough Hcg to make. cbd turn to 3+ weeks. 10 days is a long time though.

evilgiraffe Fri 19-Jul-13 17:16:25

Wow, Bugs, that has put me to shame. I have wiped the cobwebs off the outside brolly and unhooked the washing line in order to put up said brolly. Aside from that, I've sat outside reading (and sleeping), and inside watching the Tour. I've prepped the veg for dinner, too... #lazyarse

Good luck Driz! Hope all goes well smile

I have no plans for tomorrow, but on Sunday I am getting up in the small hours and driving across East Anglia to pick up HOTB and friend (and their bikes) after their overnight bike ride. And then driving them back, while they sleep, I suspect. I am contemplating taking a disposable barbecue and some bacon for them, but they're probably going to be there before me, and therefore it would lose some of the fun...

Nokkie73 Fri 19-Jul-13 17:28:04

I am being a dutiful daughter and preparing cupcakes and cake pops for my mum and dad's wedding anniversary tomorrow. I made........ahem........five spares. For tasting. I cannot let anything leave my kitchen in a less than perfect state so i have had to taste each batch. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it m'lud <is immediately arrested by the Porky Pig Police for extreme gluttony>

If you'all fancy it then follow the trail of crumbs.

drizz that is sooooooooo exciting. I hope Lembie (see what I did there ? Well, I amalgamated the words Lemon and Embie and I shut the fuck up ) settles in and becomes a baybee in your tumtum.

In one word, ballsack says so much. I adore the word. So yes, go forth my sweary children and use it.

Nokkie73 Fri 19-Jul-13 17:29:28

slinks that's great news. grin

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 19-Jul-13 18:20:55

I like the gluttony, noks. Have a good time at the anniversary as well!

I might not come and update you but retreat to the internet-free zone of my parental home and laze in their backyard for the weekend. But I'll be sure to tell you all about it, when we're back.

Not particularly worried about the physical side of ET, have had 7 IUIs and a MC coming through that same foof after all wink just very curious about the quality and numbers of Lembies, we've made. I like it noks. And the Lembie has a RL-name already better than nearmiss, I hasten to add

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