Undecided about TTC and need lots of advice! please help me!! *sobs*

[UndecidedTTC]

So basically i am 21 years old, and have been with my fiancee for 6 years. We love each other dearly and are in a stable relationship (we have never split up or had one of those end of the world rows.. which seems to be impressive these days..) We have no doubts about the loving environment we can offer a child. We have a god daughter who is a toddler that we babysit and see nearly every day, so we have a vague idea of what parenthood really entails (although he is yet to change a nappy, thats my job!). Essentially, in my mind and soul i am ready.. i just need some help to figure out the body part...

part 1 - im slightly overweight. There is so much contravercial stuff online about being pregnant and overweight, putting strain on yourself and the baby. i weigh 15 stone and am 5 foot 2. How much will this really effect the preganancy and the risks involved? i walk around in town and see someone who weighs 20+ stone with a child in a pram and think... how can it make that much difference to me when they risked it? I just dont know what to think!

part 2 - Cerazette. I have read the horror story threads online, and i am not entirely sure that the problems are coming off cerazette. when i have missed a pill before, i have noticed straight away because i start to get the symptoms of AF within 24 hours... yet on cerazette i have no AF at all. I have been on the pill for about a year now, maybe a year and a half. I wanted to conceive after my holiday this year, as i cannot deal with periods on my hols (as im going somewhere less than sanitary and periods make me vomit and feel drunk. Not to mention the pain, and the amount of bleeding). My holiday will be in june and i wanted to concieve in june or july (hopefully, though even the best laid plans..) Would your advice be to try and stop it beforehand and attempt to time my period so that it wont interfere with my holiday (hopefully the last one as a free adult for the net 18 years) or try and concieve straight away after stopping cerazette after my holiday? i guess i have the option of trying to concieve beforehand, as i dont drink or smoke or anything even on holiday, but i would like to have the option there as one last blowout before i sign the rest of my life away!

Part 3 - giving birth - the only thing that i truly feel i will never be prepared for. Its the only thing thats ever really held me back! You hear horror stories about 48 hours labours (or more) and things like that, will part 1 effect this? good stories please, i need to be less scared!! lol.

thanks in advance for any help xx

[UndecidedTTC]

also i forgot ! part 3 - folic acid, they say you should take it for 3 months before trying to concieve. should i take it even though i am on cerazette??

[barkingtreefrog]

If you are 21 you have time totally on your side. No need to rush. If your weight is worrying you why not start an exercise / healthy eating programme and get to a weight you are more comfortable with first? Then 'part 1' can be eliminated! It also addresses the holiday issue .

[UndecidedTTC]

I am always going to be overweight, i dont think i have the stamina to be normal.. but i could be less overweight, but if it makes little difference to the health of my potential child then why should i lose weight when i am happy the way i am?

If there is a 30% chance my weight will kill my child.. then of course i will lose weight. If there is a 0.0001% chance weight will slightly effect my child then thats different. i just have no way to find it out, iv looked all over the internet and was wondering if anyone here had heard anything conclusive. im well aware i have time on my side, but i dont want to wait 10 years and go through 50 yoyo diets before i have a child!

[sunflowered]

Hi undecided,
It's really exciting that you and your partner are ready to start ttc - it's a massive milestone in your relationship/life in general . Hope my reply below is helpful.

On part 1 plus part 3 - looking at your weight/height, you're only a few pounds away from the morbidly obese category. I'm not skinny myself so keeping strictly to my understanding of the facts (I'm in no position to judge!), you're less likely to even be able to conceive because of your weight, more likely to experience complications in pregnancy, considerably more likely to need medical intervention in labour (one site I read said twice as likely to need c section). also you might not be allowed to have the kind of birth you would like eg have to use consultant led unit and not given option of water birth. Of course there will be size 8 ladies who struggle when ttc and have awful labours and vice versa, but for your health, your (hopeful) baby's health, and the experience you have of the process, maybe use the next few months to make small changes than can get you closer to an overweight rather than morbid obese bmi. i'm not a medical professional so for the detailed facts and figures yiu'd need to speak to your gp - don't be too if they advise you to lose weight though. Whatever advice they give will be with your best interests in mind - if told you should lose weight first ask the gp what support programmes there are locally or if there's an exercise referral prog at your local leisure centre.

You should def start taking folic acid as soon as starting ttc and no harm starting it before, but speak to your GP about prescribing a higher dose which is sometimes advised for larger ladies ttc.

On part 2 - it takes a while for your hormones etc to get back to normal so stopping a few montha before you'd ideally like to get pg is prob better. You say that you'd like to conceive in june/july... I wanted to conceive in January, but even with plenty of! regular sex we're still ttc. Even the best laid plans could see you still ttc in a year's time so don't be too disappointed if you don't get a positive test in month 1.

Hope that helps.

[UndecidedTTC]

its helped a lot, thankyou, i will definately speak to my GP about the weight issues, and report back for any other women going through the same thing. :)

i had heard about the folic acid being good in extra doses for those who are overweight too, and i shall ask him that.

[barkingtreefrog]

Just for the record I didn't say you should lose weight, but you put it as your first concern, so I pointed out that if you were worried about it you could address that before starting to ttc, thereby eliminating that concern. And also, statistically, it might make it easier to conceive. I've been trying for 18 months and I know there are strict limits for referral to a fertility clinic according to your bmi. Too low or too high and they won't refer you as they just put your fertility problems down to your weight. I wasn't suggesting you yoyo diet for 10 years either, just make an effort to eat a healthy diet and increase your exercise for 6 months. By that I'm not assuming you eat unhealthy food all the time, but most of us could slightly up the fruit and veg and take away a few treats if we're doing it for a purpose.
I'm sorry if you took offense, none was meant, I just made suggestions based on what you said.

[April13]

Hi,
I can only comment on the Cerazette; it took me four months to actaully have a period after stopping it and an additional two months to become regular. I would advise coming off and allowing your body to regulate before trying x

[UndecidedTTC]

@barkingtreefrog

i didnt take offense, i just found it a bit irritating that you didnt actually answer any of my questions! lol. im well aware of what i can do to combat being fat, but that isnt what im concerned about. i was concerned about the effect of being fat on an unborn child and what percentages/information people could give on that side of it. i didnt mean to sound off with you, im not, i was just trying to explain the above.

@champagnebubble

im relieved to hear the horror stories arnt always the main ones. good luck with concieving and thankyou for your help :)

@april13

thankyou for your help :)