I had my third when I was 40, he is wonderful and perfect.
There is a great thread on here called fabulous forty somethings where there are plenty of women over 40 ttc. You will get plenty of encouragement there, there have been several women on that thread successfully having a first/another baby.
I'm 40 with a 5 year old and just stopped ttc number 2. We've been ttc for two years on and off and I'm done feeling like part of my life is on hold. Part of me is sad that we'll never have the family I thought we'd have, but I'm looking forward to making lots of plans to do lovely things over the next few years which wouldn't be so easy to do while pregnant or with a baby.
We also want to move in the next year or so, and I want to generally just want to get on with life without thinking 'but if I get pregnant' or 'if we have a baby by then'.
I know lots of women happily have babies in their early 40s, but I was knackered enough in my late 30s!
Oh I don't know, babies and small children are highly portable. We're about to do our 4th international move since dc1 was born. I expect/hope to do everything I would have done anyway, but with another lovely bubba
Oh, I know they're quite portable Romann, but after two disappointing years (and more than a few tears), I'm ready to draw a line under it and make some concrete plans - the size of our family will influence house buying choices, and some trips we are now planning wouldn't be affordable if I was going to be on mat leave etc.
But, OP, in answer to your question - only you can really decide if you should start ttc at 40. As this thread shows, lots of women do. Others don't find it easy to conceive or just don't fancy the baby years in their 40s!
I can fully understand DT's feelings. As whilst I had my third baby when I was 40, (after my first early miscarriage),we ttc#4 straight away, and despite being very easy to conceive, we spent the next four years with 11 more miscarriages.
Ttc in your 40's you do have to be prepared for the fact that it will be more difficult. Either harder to conceive or miscarriages or both. (There is a small increased chance of down syndrome etc too). If you can cope with this then go for it.
I am still missing my 4th, but it gets to a point where trying for years on end gets to being too much and refocusing is essential for my mental health.
I think that a baby in your forties is a wonderful thing, if you are blessed in that way.
Sorry to read of your miscarriages willitbe - dreadful to go through one, never mind 11. It must be heartbreaking.
We had our fair share of heartbreak before DS came along sadly, which is why in part DH and I gave ourselves a deadline of 40. We've expelled so much emotional energy on trying to get pregnant/coping with miscarriage/having a baby one way or another in the last 7 years that we couldn't really face it any longer. I would have been delighted if we'd been blessed with a positive pregnancy last month on our very last month of ttc though. But for us, it's not to be!