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Would you wait to ttc?

(5 Posts)
thecakeisalie Mon 06-May-13 17:32:51

Next May 31st I'm going to be matron of honour for my cousin (who is more like a sister as we grew up together). The problem is I'm desperately broody and if it wasn't for her wedding we'd be ttc our 3rd dc. We have 2 boys aged 3.5 and 2yr.

I'm a little worried about falling pregnant at the 'wrong' time and either being heavily pregnant during her wedding, therefore causing her problems with dress buying and so on, or worse not being able to make it if I was in labour! If it was a friends wedding I wouldn't be so concerned but its my cousin and I know how much her wedding means to her. Getting quite frustrated that the only thing holding me back is a day but I don't want her to end up being upset.

What would you do/suggest?

MortifiedAdams Mon 06-May-13 17:41:26

In all honesty, if you want a third baby then that takes priority. It could take weeks, months, years. Also, friends who are.marrying could fall pg and decide to postpone or bring forward the wedding. They could split up.

Do not rearrange your family planning for anyone apart from.your own little family. If and when you get a BFP, tell her once you hit 12 weeks.

crazyhead Mon 06-May-13 19:29:10

I agree with mortifiedadams, I just don't think it would be logical to put your life on hold for this really. You might even end up resenting your cousin if it then took you a while to conceive, and if you wanted a small age gap this wouldn't be a good reason to widen it.

The chances of the wedding coinciding with labour are tiny and I'm sure you'd manage things.

Fairypants Mon 06-May-13 19:43:43

I would just keep a close eye on dates-calculate when your due date would be if you fell pg on a specific cycle and avoid the cycle that would be iffy. Whilst you don't need to put yr life on hold, it sounds like this wedding is important to you so I would try to avoid being due round that time.

thecakeisalie Mon 06-May-13 21:38:45

Thanks the replies its reassured me no end.

I am starting to feel a little resentful and conflicted about it all which is why I asked the question. I don't want to cause trouble for anyone else but as you say MortifiedAdams it could take month or even years to conceive.

I also feel that leaving the age gap too long will make things harder because our two boys get along really well and though 18 months apart was hard it was well worth it. I don't really want an 18 month gap followed by a 4-5yr gap if I can help it.

I've been looking at dates and it seems conceiving during the August cycle would be the worst one then probably best to not try Sept or Oct or I'd be heavily pregnant so 3 cycles to ttc before Aug then can start again from Nov onwards.

The other point to add is she set the date this time last year but our circumstances just weren't right for another baby until recently. Our youngest has been a bit of a handful but is starting to mellow alot now.

Thanks again I really needed to hear it from people other than my husband who is obviously all for it so somewhat bias!

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