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The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

(985 Posts)
HesterShaw Fri 19-Apr-13 22:18:12

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

HesterShaw Thu 23-May-13 14:00:43

I have thrush <chatty>

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 23-May-13 14:14:23

D'you mean <itchy>? Poor you.

frank oooh exciting! How was the food?

HesterShaw Thu 23-May-13 15:13:30

<chatty> as in <just making inane conversation>

The artist formerly known as PrincessBoo and I do it a lot. It's when we bring up stuff we don't really think people chat about in normal life.

E.g. I did a massive shit this morning <chatty>

EuroShaggleton Thu 23-May-13 15:59:43

Sorry for shift messiness twink. That sounds annoying.

Oooooo, get you frank. Fancy.

hest thanks for sharing. I have EWCM, I think. <chatty> It's a bit difficult to tell as I have had bucketloads of CM since the biopsy on Monday. It is like my cervix is crying about having a chunk ripped out of it.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 23-May-13 16:10:47

Food was very nice. Smoked Salmon followed by Roast Beef and rounded off with Lemon Tart.

Didn't get to see much of the building as it was pretty much closes for recess, but walked through the big hall where they lie people in state. There are plaques on the floor saying "so-and-so lay in state here on [date]>. I stopped at the Queen Mum.

Northey Thu 23-May-13 19:36:24

Actually, I did have a massive shit this morning. <chatty>

Also, I am now off work too.

ALSO, I have discovered Starburst Sours, which are ace.

HesterShaw Thu 23-May-13 19:59:52

I didn't have one I hasten to add. I was just using it as an example.

Actually my shit this morning was rather small and unsatisfactory <chatty>

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 23-May-13 20:03:28

I would llove a massive shit, since we're talking about it. I've been so constipated since I had my gallbladder out.

You going anywhere nice norf, or do you mean you're off for the evening? I'm home sitting under a blanket cos it's bloody cold.

Good luck with the shagging euro. Slight shame on you for calling your bits your woowoo, not very BESH unless you somehow meant the cocktail of that name?

Hope you get well rested before the stabbing commences frank. Your HoComs dinner sounds good.

Starburst Sours are good.

Today was a good day because I went to the canteen for late lunch /early dinner, absolutely starving and wishing it was jerk chicken day - and it was! Also despite the shifts-dicking I can still go get my lower half transformed from Wookie to human in the morning. Phew.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 23-May-13 20:20:27

I like nothing more than a poo at work. A paid poo, locked in the disabled toilet where its nice and quiet <chatty>

Twink - GP does the same job as you. I didn't realise until you mentioned it on t'other place.

I haven't had sex in nearly a week. GP has been on lates so i've not seen him. Tomorrow night he is getting jumped.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 23-May-13 20:26:20

<ignores poo talk>

We need a new fred soon. Did we agree on a theme?

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 23-May-13 20:29:59

Blimy I've only just noticed that! You lot talk and talk and talk........

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 23-May-13 20:36:46

This fred has taken quite a long time to fill I think, comparatively. I don't think we've discussed a feem except that we'll have one?

bugs I remembered you saying where GP got his nickname. Lates are the worst for getting jumped, IME.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 23-May-13 20:46:34

He's not arriving home until 4am atm and I'm not having a shag at that time of morning!

I'm hoping this month is our month for a sticky BFP but then again, i've hoped that every month! I'm TOTALLY sick of all this. I didn't ask for this or expect it to happen yet here we are. <sigh>

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 23-May-13 20:49:41

Here buggerychops, have some Whitebait of Woe old chap. It sucks big hairy beefballs, so it does.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 23-May-13 20:54:44

I've considered writing a book called 'The AC Club'. <applied copyright>

I'd make it like a chicklit... full of humour and honesty.

Northey Thu 23-May-13 21:05:15

I thought we were doing BESH - CBATM bit can definitely be arsed to SADAW. Or some such.

There is a great website that calculates how much you get paid per work poo. I will find it for bugs. And also for me smile

EuroShaggleton Thu 23-May-13 22:12:42

Twink me and KFZk use woo woo ironically. It's quite useful to avoid word filters on email. I refused to be shamed by my use of woo woo.

In fact, my woo woo has just been shown to be in full working order. I won't hear a bad word said about it. (I think KFZK was more nervous about dtd than I was, but it was fine. He doesn't appear to have broken me.)

bugs I am not a fan of pooing at work. I abhor the inferior bum roll. I'm an Andrex Aloe Vera girl.

EuroShaggleton Thu 23-May-13 22:13:10

My typing is however shameful. <Hangs head>

Northey Thu 23-May-13 22:45:16

I can't find poo website. Oh well.

Congratulations on functional foofery, eu. When do you start next proper cycle?

HesterShaw Thu 23-May-13 23:56:50

Darling Bugs, you have no idea how your poo-at-work anecdote made me larf xxx

EuroShaggleton Fri 24-May-13 08:23:38

norf as soon as AF comes, so probably in two and a bit weeks. So long as the biopsy result is ok when it comes back next week.

What's your plan?

Northey Fri 24-May-13 08:32:48

Phone up on first day of next droid. Last cycle was 50 days. Currently on about 30.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 24-May-13 09:22:03

On the pooing at work front I am with euro. Although it is less the inferior quality of paper and more the feeling someone might be lurking on the other side. We've moved office and it is all much less private sad

Yay for near recommence of stabbing and for dinner at the House of Commons frank. not jealous or anything.

My OFTD is two weeks today, 16dpo, which will probably be the day of the baseline scan fo IVF <panicked>

Am I thick not to remember what SADAW means?

Northey Fri 24-May-13 11:01:32

Stumbling Around Drunk And Wailing. Or possibly Staggering. I think nookie invented it.

evilgiraffe Fri 24-May-13 11:25:46

I used to be rather anti-pooing at work. And then I had a truly hideous time with stress last summer and had several instances of sudden and extremely urgent diarrhoea, and became friends with the disabled loo. Pleasingly, the unpredicability of my bowels has died down considerably since dropping the stress, but they're still not the same as they were two years ago. Anyway, I am now much more understanding about work poo requirements.

In entirely unrelated news, next weekend I'm off to Wales to stay with my mum and dad, and my friends are also coming for a holiday nearby for the first week. I am making a themed CD to keep them entertained for the first hour of the journey: starting off with Cwm Rhondda and ending with International Velvet. Fabulous stuff smile

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