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I dread telling DP when af arrives!!!

(7 Posts)
blondebaby111 Tue 09-Apr-13 12:45:24

Anyone else like me?? I'm Pretty much dealing with this, yes I get upset each month but I just pull myself together and move on, its tough but after 5 years you have to! But each month I absolutely dread telling my lovely DP as I just can't stand the sheer look of disappointment on his face. I hate it! I know he's not upset with me (we're in this together) but I just feel so shitty when I tell him af has arrived and then for a day or so he's just really quiet and low. I think its worse because we have unexplained infertilty and one failed ivf cycle (just about to head down that route again) and he/we find it hard to accept that they are just not finding a reason why it isn't happening. The way I feel sometimes is I'm scared I'm holding him back, a womans body is far more complex than a mans and I'm failing to give him what he so desperatley wants sad

blondebaby111 Wed 10-Apr-13 12:50:00

I guess its just me then??!!!!

recall Wed 10-Apr-13 12:57:51

I know how you feel. Although you are in it together, you are the one burdening the knowledge, and have to be the bearer of bad news. I felt it when I did become pregnant, and had to tell him I was bleeding and then mc. There are a few minutes between finding out yourself and having to go and tell them….its tough.

All I can say is that when the day comes, and you get the positive test, you will be hugging yourself with glee about telling him. And then when you feel them kicking, and get your DP to feel it too….will make all this misery worth while.

recall Wed 10-Apr-13 13:00:18

can I ask how often you are "doing it", and on what days in relation to your af ?

recall Wed 10-Apr-13 13:00:53

( but if you don't want to go over it…ignore that )

blondebaby111 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:11:27

We start doing it pretty much every other day from day 7 thru to at least day 16 if we can give or take a few days sometimes. Last month we hit it really hard as had week off around ovulation and was using the clearblue fertility monitor for the 1st time too which gave me highs on day 6 thru to 10 and then I peaked at day 11 and 12. Anyway that didn't work either.

So sorry about your mc, that must of the been the toughest thing! I dream of the day I can tell him good news but sadly I have to face facts that that day may never come. Thankyou for responding xx

recall Fri 12-Apr-13 00:58:25

Because I lost my 1st at 22 weeks pregnant, and then had 3 more mc, I was determined to get pregnant, and I am 42, so running out of time. I was dead strict, and would insist we did it as soon as possible after af, so could be day 3/4, and then every other day until af arrived. I also placed a moon cup in after sex, my theory being that the sperm would continue to slosh about, and re coat my cervix ( not sure if this is safe….please check if you intend to try it ) I thought that once that egg appeared, i wanted live sperm to be up there ready. I think it was my way of coping with the sadness of it all, the hope of the 2 week wait every month kept me going.

Anyway, I went on to have 3 kids close together, now aged 5,3 and 2. I even discontinued breast feeding one of them in order to ovulate and get pregnant again. I wasn't in my right mind, just so desperate to have healthy pregnancies and live babies.

I remember my friend saying that she ovulated on day 5 once and got pregnant, so that made me up my game and start sooner each month.

Good luck, I really hope you succeed….and don't give up.

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