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The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

(990 Posts)
Bunnygirlie Sat 06-Apr-13 22:56:04

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

Frogcatcher Sun 07-Apr-13 17:13:46

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I really thought temping would reassure me that there was nothing wrong & I was just being too impatient but its just worried me more! The fact that DP already has a son (albeit conceived 9 yrs ago when he was younger & in better health probably) makes it less likely to be a problem with him.

happy I got some darker lines on the OPK but never one I thought was the one. Next month I'll keep them for comparison. I've never noticed pain at O & whilst I know I've had EWCM in the past I didn't notice any this month. Might go to the drs if no AF this week just to see how sympathetic they are. Might look into my health insurance too.

Frogcatcher Sun 07-Apr-13 17:27:58

Oh & no spotting today when at least I had that yesterday to make me think something was happening! On the positive side at least I'm not having a Xmas baby. hmm

CatsCantFlyFast Sun 07-Apr-13 17:59:32

Yes I was 2cats and yes I'm in touch with Gail. And yes it was me that took great fucking offence to the instadiffer who then proceeded to join the grads after being a berry less than 5 days!! Long lazy lunch for us at a 'country' (as in London country and not the real countryside) pub has left me needing a snooze. I am in the bizarre situation of having little idea where I am in my cycle (tho after so much charting I do have a good idea so prob O day today/tomorrow ish) which is a strange feeling after so long. AND I don't have any sticks of any kind in the house! Plenty of time to order them before AF is due
Its so hard to catch up when using my phone, what happened with cherry?

Thundercatsarego Sun 07-Apr-13 18:12:00

barking that link doesn't work for me, damnit! For some reason it takes me to my photos. Oh I can click on your name can't I?! Will do so in a minute.

hmm re instadiffer. Lucky woman.

Gail still ttc then?

Bunnygirlie Sun 07-Apr-13 18:57:14

Yes how is Gail merk? And you aren't the only one peeved with non proper berries joining the grads, I don't think they have strict entrance criteria confused

My opk didn't show any o the past few days so not sure what is happening (CD14 here), blood test Friday though so I guess we'll see what that says. Does anybody know what next step is if it doesn't show any o?

Cavort Sun 07-Apr-13 19:16:57

Good evening ladies, hope you are all well? I was just having a lazy Sunday afternoon nosey browse around hoping to get a whiff of potential BFP's and I notice that you think one of the recent graduates got the holy grail of getting upduffed at first attempt? She only hung around for a few days before disappearing never to be seen since, but we did ask her during her brief visit and she said she got caught on her second cycle, which I hope makes you feel a teensy weensy bit better? Small consolation, I know hmm

happylass Sun 07-Apr-13 19:48:43

Cavort are you Rach? If so how are things in graduate land. No BFPs to report here I'm afraid but we are trying our very best and hope to join you soon. To be fair the instadiffer did DTD 21 days in a row and stole my shag tiara so at least she put the effort in. We have had to tighten our entrance criteria since though to stop the other berries getting envy and angry

Bunnygirlie Sun 07-Apr-13 19:56:59

Hey cavort no BfPs round here, beginning to think you gals took all the luck with you months and months ago!!!!! Can you give some back pretty please wink

Frogcatcher Sun 07-Apr-13 20:27:36

21 days in a row?!! She can't have been over 30 surely? Or in full-time knackering employment? If she was then her OH must have been a toy boy. I remember suggesting to DP (who is 40+) that we needed to DTD every other day for a month to get pg & he was all for it but alas the actions did not speak as loud as the words & real life, SS & work got in the way. We managed 7 days in a row in Feb & I thought it was shag week at the time so was convinced I would be upduffed but then had a longer cycle than previously so think I was a week out!

Quick straw berry poll: has anyone told their mothers about their issues TTC? I'm thinking of telling mine (who I have a good relationship with) 1) to reassure her that I am trying to give her grandkids & 2) to find out if there might be any kind of hereditary issue. She had me at 27 & my brother at 30 but was married for 4 years before I was born which seems kind of unusual for ye olden days. I'm putting it off at the moment as there is nothing confirmed wrong but think I will definitely tell her if something is as I'll need the RL support.

Cavort Sun 07-Apr-13 20:52:18

Hi Happy and Bunny, yes indeed I am Rach (keep forgetting about the name change and that I am only a lurker).

Things are good over on the dark side thanks. Well, I think we've all got our issues, aches and pains and we're all fat and bricking it about the birth, but we're very grateful for it and can't wait for you ladies to join us.

Sending a big load of luck over to you all but absolutely no babydust or any cuckoo crap like that grin

CatsCantFlyFast Sun 07-Apr-13 21:17:23

I've not told my mum, only friends. My mum keeps asking when were going to have babies cheers subtlety and I keep telling her that we want to move house first bollocks and that we have loads of time while panicking about running out of time but then I don't have such a close relationship with my mum

Boodlebum Sun 07-Apr-13 21:24:27

<Rocks up to the party fashionably late because I missed the shuttle and had to walk all the bloody way am cool like that..

I'm back from my jolly - nice to see you all and hello to the newbies! smile I'm having my usual AF from hell so skulking on the sofa and trying not to vom so that's about all the niceties I can cope with tonight.

I have had a read back on what I've missed and I can add a little to the Vit B6/LP discussion. In my experience, despite trying B6 and B complex vits in various combinations and dosages over the last 20 cycles, my luteal phase has not changed AT ALL. It's been a consistent 7-9 days and never more. I've read plenty of anecdotal evidence that it works for some though, so perhaps I'm just an unlucky one.

Three days to my appointment with the fertility consultant (not that I'm obsessively counting down or anything, oh no).

haycorn Sun 07-Apr-13 21:26:05

Frog I told my mum for the first time yesterday that we have been trying for a while now. I hadn't said anything before because I didn't want to deal with the questions and disappointing even more people every month, but she'd been dropping so many hints about grandchildren that I just couldn't laugh them off anymore. I didn't go into much detail, but she didn't push for any and was very good about it. I feel a lot better actually for sharing it - feel like the pressure is off a little bit now.

CharmingCats Sun 07-Apr-13 21:59:49

Hello! Just marking my place. I'll catch up with end of last thread and join you properly tomorrow.

Pipbin Sun 07-Apr-13 22:09:36

Sorry but second cycle counts as an instadiffer in my books.

I've told my mum, who I have a very difficult relationship with but only because I was coming down from a general anaesthetic and DH had just nipped out. It has not been mentioned since.

Bunnygirlie Sun 07-Apr-13 22:11:49

Hey frog nope haven't told my mum, only people in RL that know are reflexologist, leg waxer (she is TTC too), one friend who I only told coz I cried in front of her when talking about her baby about to be born and then 2 weeks ago my sister guessed (by text) but it hasn't been mentioned since. I haven't even told my closest friend.

I may have to give up FB till I have a baby, my friends latest status - 'hospital bag all packed for me and baby, not long to go' I had to hide it! sad it's all around me, guy at works wife is due this month too!

Boodlebum Sun 07-Apr-13 22:38:05

I've told quite a few people in real-life, although only one of them talks about it regularly with me. She's a work colleague and she's been an absolute gem, to the point where she even tips me off when she suspects a pregnancy announcement is coming (too many bloody women where I work) so I can avoid the staffroom!

I have not told my mum and I don't intend to; she's pretty good about not pestering about grandchildren and I know if I told her she'd just get preoccupied with it. Best to leave her in blissful ignorance.

God I hope I get clomid on Wednesday and it works for me. (Wishful thinking no doubt - I can but dream.)

CatsCantFlyFast Sun 07-Apr-13 22:39:51

I have decided tonight I am in awe of you berries who survive the 2ww with no pimp sticks in the house. After my monster pimping session last month where anything that could be dipped into my pot happily dipped, my cupboard is bare of sticks. I am going to have to race over to amazon for a bulk order. Not even sure if I've O'd yet (probably) but desperate to pee on something to check. Also fancy checking out my last month's early OPK line (6dpo) to see if it happens this month. Get the sausages out berries, I'm gradually going mad!!
Ps Bastard cat peed in the fireplace today. Anyone want a lovely friendly kitty???

CatsCantFlyFast Sun 07-Apr-13 22:41:26

boodle as I'm weeks behind can I have a synopsis to catch me up... They're giving you clomid? Do they think you're not O-ing??

Pipbin Sun 07-Apr-13 22:41:55

I've told anyone and everyone really. It's no secret. I think about 5 people at work know, so you can be sure that damn near everyone does really.

barkingtreefrog Sun 07-Apr-13 22:50:22

Try again with this link Thunder?

Frog I told my mother when we first started, but we haven't spoken about it since apart from a couple of times when I've mentioned it. We're close enough, maybe speak on the phone every week or two but we've never had one of those 'I tell my mother everything' relationships, I'd never go to her with an emotional problem, only a practical one.

After getting fed up of questions from his mother DP told his recently, and told his brother after they announced their 2nd was in the oven. I actually told DP's step mum myself last October when we'd been trying 10 months as it came out when she took me to the hairdressers and we were having a girlie chat and talking about her daughter who had her first at 41 and took 18 months to conceive (and therefore I assume she told DP's dad). We only see them once a year as they live abroad. He's since told his Dad in an offhand jokey way over Skype, so I don't feel I have to admit I'd already let the cat out of the bag!!

I told my 3 closest friends (two have children, one is also ttc #1) a while ago and since DP decided he needed to talk about it I think it's pretty much common knowledge among our local friends as they're all a pretty close group and we see them all the time. When the 1st friend in the group announced her pg recently it was at a birthday meal when someone asked why she wasn't drinking and when she said 'I'm pg' everyone laughed, then realised she wasn't joking. I suppose I want everyone to realise that if when I say I'm pg it's actually not a joke and it's a really big thing for us! It also helps ward off any potentially insensitive comments and hopefully makes the 2nd pg one (the one who duffed up twins just before their FC appointment) realise that I might find it difficult talking to her at times.

I was about to say no-one at work knows but one person actually does. They asked if I wanted children a while ago during a conversation and as I tend to have a policy of being brutally honest and if it's TMI it's their own fault for asking I just told her yes and I was trying. Not been mentioned since though. I thought she might mention it when our colleague announced her upduffment but given she apparently had no issues making either of her two girls she probably didn't realise how horrible it was for me.

Frogcatcher Sun 07-Apr-13 22:50:27

Thx for the straw poll results ladies. I think I'm just starting to feel the need to talk to someone before the next unknowingly insensitive comment brings out a flood of tears to probably the most unsuitable person. Trouble is that the friend I'd be most likely to confide in is expecting end of this month & most of my friends have been instadiffers so just wouldn't get it. I think I'll talk to her if I do end up at the GPs for an AWOL AF. Tried pimping with an OPK later today just for kicks & that was negative too. You are not alone merk! Need to get some more HPKs as got a friends bday do on Fri so need to double check my negative before that. I was wondering how I was going to swing the sober thing without anyone noticing if I had been pg.

CatsCantFlyFast Sun 07-Apr-13 22:52:07

Pip I'm beginning to think that's the best tactic. It's not anything to be ashamed about, and it stops people saying stuff unintentionally mostly so I may get a t short printed with "yes we are fucking trying" or "I'd love a baby but my body won't get with the program"

barkingtreefrog Sun 07-Apr-13 22:53:03

"I've told anyone and everyone really. It's no secret."

See, I really need to be more precise. That pretty much sums up what I just said blush.

Boodlebum Sun 07-Apr-13 22:54:08

Merks, I don't know if they're going to give me clomid, but that's what my doctor reckoned would happen when she did the referral. I am ovulating though,(well, as sure as I can be) so whether that changes things, I don't know. Seems like plenty of people do get prescribed clomid, even if they do ovulate and I've read some threads where people have found that it helped with their LP.

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