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TTC frustration

(8 Posts)
lj123 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:25:03

So they say trying can cause stress so try relax it will happen, yet others try and succeed first time! Why??
I don't want it to be all I can think about but it's there everyday, I can't shake the need away!

Teachercreature Wed 03-Apr-13 21:14:06

It's just random, sadly! (And thus deeply unfair.)

Know just what you mean though. Went through it and felt same. Since then, for different reasons I saw a CBT counsellor, and I know she deals a lot with women TTC. Maybe something like that might help? She gave me techniques to deal with a very very difficult situation and it did make a difference, not to my circumstances, but to how well I could handle them. And I know that I am doing a lot better as a result - stress does the most horrible things to your body, and people telling you "not to stress" doesn't help ONE BIT!

I also have a friend who went through IVF and she swore by reflexology and acupuncture and massage - all helped her to relax.

Have also heard many stories of women who threw themselves into other projects and then very swiftly fell pregnant, so I am big believer that distraction can help you too.

And above all else, hang in there - I have known many people with varying problems, and they all got there in the end! Wish you the very best of luck, heart goes out to you.

EuroShaggleton Wed 03-Apr-13 21:21:36

Someone on here recently posted an article that said research showed that stress had no effect on conception rates. So you can stop worrying about the "relax and it'll happen" BS - always spouted by people who got PG really quickly.

Knittingninja Wed 03-Apr-13 23:00:50

Very interesting posts! I too have recently been told to 'relax' while TTC. I take the point that feeling really stressed about it is not helpful in that it can kill your sex drive! Plus it's never nice to be stressed.

In the first couple of months of trying it was literally all I could think about. As months have gone on I have found that I am paying less attention to the 2WW and am therefore not getting as worked up about it and then disappointed when AF arrives. So things are going better for me but I can totally see how it would be easy to get obsessed with thinking about it all constantly, and therefore CBT ideas would be useful.

lj123 Thu 04-Apr-13 09:42:28

For me it's not the stress as much for TTC it's more the fact I've had 4 failed pregnancies and my last was right tube removal due to ectopic, that was 6 months ago!
Before when I started trying and it failed It was basically every 3 months I fell, they checked ad said nothing was wrong with me!

Teachercreature Thu 04-Apr-13 12:47:43

I am so sorry to hear that, heartbreaking sad

I had a friend who had something like twelve failed pregnancies. They couldn't work out why she was miscarrying, and it was just horrendous, but in the end she had not one but two healthy children two years apart!

Miracles can happen.

In the meantime though, please do think about CBT counselling if you haven't already. This must just be hell for you, and any help you can get can't hurt. Even just talking it over with someone neutral can be very very therapeutic.

Good luck! x

lj123 Thu 04-Apr-13 13:28:53

Thanks teacher creature.
It has been one hell of a ride, I'm 23! Lol
I know I have plenty of time, I have been talking to a friend about it as she miscarried as I had my ectopic but she has just fallen so conversation won't really be the same. It may well be worth finding a neutral person to talk with. Xx

mamakirsty Thu 04-Apr-13 18:01:59

Yes 1hell off a ride lj at such a young age! I hope this thread finds u relaxed smile
I also hope u may find another woman with/ had same experience to chat with real soon TC

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