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Why is nothing happening!?!

(38 Posts)
madonnawhore Wed 03-Apr-13 18:45:56

<bangs head on keyboard>

Okay, we've only been trying for three months but for fuck's sake WHY am I not pregnant by now?!

I've cut out caffeine, I'm taking folic acid and B6, I'm using an ovulation pee stick thing to monitor my cycle, I'm using that Preseed lube, we're shagging EVERY BLOODY DAY... What am I doing wrong? I was so sure we'd nailed it this month.

It's so frustrating.

Am now thinking about trying Agnus Castus - anyone had any experience with this?

MolotovCocktail Wed 03-Apr-13 19:00:10

Sometimes it just takes time. Most couples are pg within 1 year, the rest by 2 years. I think something like 5% fall outside of those predicted timescales.

Try not to stress as stress hormones can inhibit ovulation/conception. No experience with Agnus Castus - I just used a good multi-vitamin (Pregnacare as it doesnt contain Vit A, which isn't recommended during pg).

Fwiw, it took 9 moths for is to conceive dd1 naturally smile

MolotovCocktail Wed 03-Apr-13 19:00:56

And good luck - sincerely hope it happens for you soon smile

Cate555 Wed 03-Apr-13 19:04:07

When I read this I laughed (sorry) but I was just thinking the exact same thing today! I'm on CD34!! like seriously what's that all about? All BFNs of course and think AF is about to arrive but why is my body tourturing me?

ShowOfHands Wed 03-Apr-13 19:07:19

You're supposed to expect it to take a year and enjoy the shagging instead of obsessing about it and becoming demoralised after three months. Chances of conception are never more than 25% after all.

Of course if you know HOW to stop obsessing and relax about it all, then you're a better woman than all of us me.

Took me 14 months and a couple of losses with my first. Second it happened on the first try. It's a steaming load of annoying bollocks really and can seem ridiculous and unfair in equal measure.

madonnawhore Wed 03-Apr-13 19:56:39

LOL at steaming load of annoying bollocks. It really, really is.

How the fuck am I going to stay sane for a whole chuffing year?

Every time I get AF I burst into tears.

Every time someone announces they're pregnant I burst into tears.

I'm a mess and it's only month three.

Cate555 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:15:11

Well at least we all seem to be in the same boat.
When my AF comes I'm going to burst into a big bottle if wine, pâté and nuts and anything else I'm afraid to eat 'just in case' grin

lj123 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:17:14

I have been TTC for almost 2 years, I've had 4 miscarriages and an ectopic.
I'm 23 and was also hoping to have fallen pregnant by now, it's been 6 months since my ectopic and not a faint line even!
I had a colleague who miscarried when I had my ectopic who announced she is expecting today, I'm over the moon for her, I cried, I do every cycle I know how you feel, I can assure you, your not alone. Xxx

goodygumdrops Wed 03-Apr-13 20:29:09

3 months? I mean this kindly - you really shouldn't be stressing now. Because if it genuinely does take you a long time to conceive you will drive yourself mad. 3 months is nothing.

bonzo77 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:41:09

Yes, 3 months is nothing, though I do understand the frustration.

BTW stress does not reduce your chances of conception. If it did women would not get pregnant in refugee camps, living on the streets or as the result of abuse. Don't stress about being stressed grin

madonnawhore Wed 03-Apr-13 20:46:56

Oh lj123 sad

I had a miscarriage last year so I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be to go through that multiple times.

Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone xx

lj123 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:50:52

Madonnawhore, thank you.
It really is heartbreaking every time, the worst thing being after my op to remove my ruptured right tube, they checked my left tube and my ovaries and apparently there's nothing wrong!!
Sooo confusing!

madonnawhore Wed 03-Apr-13 20:59:17

My mum had an ectopic with her first pregnancy and had a tube removed. She was 'only firing on one cylinder' when she conceived me and then my brother.

Fertility is fucking weird. I hate not being able to control my body. I feel like I ought to be in charge of what happens! But nooooo, mother nature is the boss of me.

lj123 Thu 04-Apr-13 09:32:19

Aww that's really good.
I know there's hope I've always been told that it just seems that it's not there for me, I worry that itl never happen for me when I've always said I e wanted children since I was a child myself, I've built my life around having them.
Lets hope there's some lucky baby dust floating around this month! smile Xx

KellyWild Thu 04-Apr-13 10:12:27

I've joined today and this caught my eye; we've been trying for 7 months now and after my obsession with sticks, BBT etc, I took a trip to the docs who quite rightly told me to stop it all and just relax and have sex three times a week, every week. I do take FA but just encase.
Enjoy shagging and have some fun! Its true, I do feel much better and we're enjoying a healthy sex life which means we're both happier.

moggle Thu 04-Apr-13 10:19:52

OP- if it's any consolation, at three months I was also crying at every AF and feeling it was just the end of the world. Now we're on cycle 15 and I'm much more stable about it despite no hint of a bfp. Only mild disappointment and rarely tears. I can now hear pg news without feeling devastated (basically cos I brace myself for an announcement every time i see anyone aged between 18 and 40!!). Think it was between 6-9 months I went from crazy to less crazy. It really helps if you can find something else to think about / obsess over, I started running and also have a hobby which I sell online which keeps my mind occupied when I'm not at work. (At work is another matter hence why I'm on MN now...)

moggle Thu 04-Apr-13 10:21:50

Sorry also wanted to add- do remember the chances are that you'll get a bfp soon and won't be waiting around too long. This board can give a skewed picture - most people do manage to get pg without problems.

deliasmithy Thu 04-Apr-13 11:34:38

The SAME.

Over priced fertility monitor.
Mobile phone app
WEEING IN CUPS!
Timed shagging
Bloody ridiculous BBT thermometer that pulls stats from its arse

But it keeps me occupied for 3 weeks.
By the fourth week ive driven into Crazy Town.

Recording EVERYTHING. And then googling it. Twice. In case a different website says insanity is a symptom.

moggle Thu 04-Apr-13 11:49:19

Haha, I stopped googling symptoms once I realised that when you google "is X a symptom of pregnancy", you will find someone, somewhere who experienced X before a bfp, regardless of how wild and unlikely it is!

moggle Thu 04-Apr-13 12:54:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EuroShaggleton Thu 04-Apr-13 13:26:22

I agree with goody and it is kindly meant. It really is in your own best interest to try to calm down about it and keep reminding yourself that there is a 90% chance you will be pregnant within a year. And if you are not, there are treatments to help.

lj123 Thu 04-Apr-13 13:26:26

I'm awful for a google search! I'm sure I question more every week! It's such a bad habit and your right, someone has always had something before a positive no matter what it is.

imonkey Thu 04-Apr-13 13:33:17

You could start charting your cycle (temping etc) which may show something like a short luteal phase. There's probably nothing to worry about but it might just put your mind at rest.

www.babycentre.co.uk/a3195/how-to-chart-your-temperature-and-cervical-mucus

Saku Thu 04-Apr-13 14:38:33

May be I may sound weird.. confused but stop fizzy drinks and crisps( recopies whatever has ajinomoto-for tanginess or fluorides) they are most dangerous enemies of reproduction system sad. you saw those people who live road side and every year they get pregnant.. envy reason behind that is they cant afford fizzy drinks and Mac D pazzas and burger .. thats why their reproduction system remains so strong.. wink

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 04-Apr-13 19:01:11

In the nicest possible way, STOP STRESSING OUT! 3 months is absolutely no time at all, personally I've been trying for almost 3 years.

You need to stop Googling, Google is the source of all evil.

It can take a perfectly healthy couple up to 2 years to conceive and if you were to go to a Dr after just 3 months of trying they would, to be frank, laugh you out of the surgery.

Don't get obsessed with monitors and OPKs at this stage. Just have regular sex - at least 3 times a week - and eat healthily.

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