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Lack of enthusiasm for work

(14 Posts)
Knittingninja Mon 01-Apr-13 17:43:36

Hi, just joined mumsnet for some moral support!

Been trying to conceive for a year, seen GP last week and due to go for blood tests etc to check everything's ok. Apart from being a little worried about that, the main thing I'm struggling with is work! I work full time and am finding it really tough to keep my interest in my job, when if given the choice, what I would like to do right now is be a mum!

Anyone else having this problem, and if so, any advice?

Cate555 Mon 01-Apr-13 19:29:01

I'm totally the same, dreading going back after the Easter break. Every month I think of when maternity leave would start and am even more depressed then with BFNs sad

linny579 Mon 01-Apr-13 20:17:47

Totally. I have only been TTC for one month and feel the same. Lack enthusiasm thinking really doesn't matter as hopefully soon I won't be there for year. Really need to get a grip in case it doesn't.

joycep Mon 01-Apr-13 20:29:16

I got pregnant 3 years ago and I remember full well that i mentally checked out of work. I dreamt of maternity leave and thought about how our nursery would look and couldn't wait to leave. That pregnancy sadly ended in a m/c and 3 years on we still have no baby. It took me a very long time to mentally check back in to work and to get any sort of enthusiasm back. I still go through phases of not wanting to be there but thankfully I've managed to make my job more interesting which has helped. But I certainly find it easier now than I did in that first year to 18months of ttc because i guess i learnt to get used to it and acknowledge I was in this for the long haul.

However, I 'm sure you won't our troubles! Wishing you the very best that it happens soon.

Knittingninja Wed 03-Apr-13 22:26:54

Thanks for the replies, nice to know I am not alone! Yeah totally know what you mean about thinking about mat leave, it makes it really hard to be career focussed esp with all the personal/professional development stuff that managers love... can't really say, well given the choice I'd rather not be here! I feel like it's the thing you can't really talk about with colleagues as well, it feels like a bit of a taboo subject...

So sorry to hear about your m/c joycep but good to hear things are a bit easier now than they were. I guess I need to make the best of it while I am still in a job that I (sortof) enjoy.

Best of luck ladies- at work and home smile

FabiOne Mon 08-Apr-13 11:01:06

Hi knittingninja

i absolutely hate my job! We have been TTC for over 2 years and feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have tried moving teams but six months on I still dread having to go back to work on a Monday morning. I can't leave and work somewhere else just in case I get preg and wouldn't get mat leave. So hard trying to care about personal development and the rest of it when all you want to do is be a mum!

Hopefully we will all be rid of the workplace soon! Good luck ladies smile

twentythirteen Mon 08-Apr-13 19:07:17

Joycep your post really spoke to me, I'm in the same boat. And yes OP, I struggle to be at work too, absolutely have checked out. Each month I think about when mat leave would start. This month it would be some time before xmas, would have lots of time off with OH before he had to go back, would be so wonderful...

Good luck to us all!

Bikey86 Mon 08-Apr-13 20:11:48

Fabione...totally understand where are are coming from. I've been looking for a new job for ages...really hate mine at the moment. Gave up and decided to TTC and then I got an email on Friday from an employer is taken my CV to about 6 weeks ago...ggrrrrr. He wants me to go in for a chat but now we've decided to start a family I really don't know what to do. I used to be adament that I wanted a fantastic career but now I'd be quite happy being a mum!! As you said a rock and a hard place coz if I decide to make the move I have to think about mat leave...also I wouldn't want to mess the company about!!!

FabiOne Mon 08-Apr-13 20:43:35

bikey86

It is such a hard decision to make....if only someone could tell us at the start of the ttc journey how long it was going to take we could plan our lives so much better! Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have the chat and then think about it again more seriously afterwards?

twinklestar2 Mon 08-Apr-13 21:55:43

I say go for the new job. I stayed in a job I hated for 18 months thinking I'd get pregnant and go on mat leave. It never happened. I'm now in a new job and still not pregnant but much happier with work.

RedRobin1 Mon 08-Apr-13 21:58:51

I feel the same. Been ttc for almost a year now. I hate going into work on Mondays too. I just dream of maternity leave and finding a job I like. I don't want to be in this high pressures environment and can't cope some days with the stress of ttc and work both. I have no motivation, no drive, no ambition. If someone told me I would be this way 2 years back I would have laughed in their face. Ttc has completely demotivated me.

Fairypants Mon 08-Apr-13 22:03:39

I'm another one not quite there. Counting down days on iPhone app and on MN instead of concentrating. I do actually enjoy my job and plan to go back part time but wanting a baby is too distracting.
I have also calculated I could go on normal Xmas holls and no go back for a year- that would be great timing!

moggle Mon 08-Apr-13 23:15:11

I'm in this boat too, 15m after starting TTC. My job changed at the time we started but I stuck with it due to really good mat leave and thought, well I won't be here long. Anyway 15m later I'm nearly nuts over it! Finally have got over the fear of losing the mat pay and looked for other jobs and have an interview next week. If I get the job, and then get pregnant in the first few months then, well, that's life. Sure the morals of applying for a new job when pregnant (and not disclosing) could be discussed but when TTC, no. Plus remember that for many companies, especially big ones (and any public sector, really), it's not really a big deal if an employee gets pregnant. Of course you need to work out if you could live on SMP plus your partner's salary, but if that's OK for you, I don't think you should feel guilty for trying to further your career. In my admittedly humble opinion it's viewpoints like this which are part of the reason why women in general do so much worse than men over our whole careers. Having said that, even if I get this new job I still doubt I will suddenly start being driven by my career. At the end of the day all I want right now is to be a mum.

It's not an option for everyone, but last week when I decided to tell my line manager that I had an interview somewhere else, I somehow also decided while I was on a roll that I'd tell him about our TTC woes too!! I don't know where that came from (he's 64 and is a massive geek with no kids of his own)... but it turned out to be a good decision, he was so understanding and even tried to give me advice (not as blush as it sounds - part of his career was spent researching fertility and the female cycle) (but it was still a bit blush).

Knittingninja Tue 09-Apr-13 17:43:02

I did actually change job a few months ago but nearly didn't apply because of TTC, didn't know if it was worth making a change or not. However several months later still not pregnant so glad I did! Admittedly as both jobs were with NHS I didn't have to worry about losing mat leave but I was looking for other jobs too. Glad I changed job, it's still not perfect and motivation is a problem still but it's better than the last one! I have a better work/life balance as not commuting as far, it is still a bit stressful but I guess you can't have everything....

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